Selling cloth heads

(crosstalk)

A Crosstalk is an art.

B That’s right.

A But in the old society it was not called art.

B What is it called if it’s not art?

A, we call this business.

B Yes, it used to be called business.

A Is it said that the crosstalk tape sells douer paper (douer paper is a handmade thick paper made from the dead, dark gray, generally used as toilet paper.)?

B Never heard of it.

A What is that called buying and selling? No buying or selling, stage performance. If we talk about buying and selling, it is done by the capitalists.

B By the way, buy and sell.

A Capitalists are different from us. They rely on exploitation to make a living.

B The bigger the capitalist, the more ways he can exploit people.

A There is also intrigue among capitalists.

B compete with each other and exclude each other.

A For example, there are two department stores on this road, which can make the neighbors uneasy. The family invites a band.

B What are you doing?

A used this to attract customers. In order to make more money, Haomo Dangyang'er hung a red banner at the door with the words: "New store opening, eight discounts off."

B is cheaper here.

A I can’t see what’s going on over there. He’s discounting the price by 80%, and my transaction is over. So he also hung a piece of red cloth with the words: "Anniversary, buy one get one free."

B This is cheaper than eight buckles.

A changed his words when he saw it here: "New opening, eight buckles with discounts and colorful decorations."

B Oh, with colorful decorations.

A looked at it and wrote again: "Anniversary, buy one and get one free."

B sacrifice?

A: Ah, think about it, everyone over there has suffered, but here we won’t sacrifice!

B Okay.

A The band also followed suit. Here: Da La Da La Da ... There is: Liang Liang Dangdang ...

acetarium!

A It’s like going to a funeral.

B It’s all about money.

In order to make money, capitalist A would rather spend 30% of his funds on advertising fees.

B What kind of advertising do you do?

A. Newspaper advertisements, movie advertisements, radio stations...

B. Radio stations still advertise?

A, when you listened to the radio in the past, it was just commercial advertisements: "Gentlemen, do you want to drink some fragrant tea? Please go to Zhengxingde Tea House to buy it, Zhengxingde Tea House makes it Red and green scented tea, Zhengxingde Tea House is located at No. 1765 Qianmen Street. Your comments and guidance are welcome."

Yes, this was the word used in advertisements in the past.

A Big Business makes ads like this.

B Where is the small business?

A You can’t get on the radio.

B What’s wrong?

A He can’t afford the advertising fees. You let the guy selling baked sweet potatoes go on the radio to advertise. How to do it? Besides, there’s no way to make up the words: “Gentlemen, do you want to eat some roasted sweet potatoes with red skin and yellow flesh that are nutritious and contain a lot of vitamin C? We have a full range of steamed, cooked and baked products. If you want to eat, please You go to..."

Where can I buy B?

A. Buy it wherever you meet!

B Isn’t this nonsense!

A Therefore, small businesses do not do this kind of advertising. Small business requires shouting.

B Yes.

A In the past, in Beijing, small businesses were the most vocal. For example, the candied haws sellers in the east, west, and south cities are not all the same.

B Yes, we pay attention to nine tunes and eighteen tunes. How do you shout when you go to Beicheng?

A "Mi Lai Hey Candied Haws -"

B Where to Xicheng?

A “Huluer rock candy.

"

B, this saves a lot of trouble, and arrives in Nancheng?

A "Gourd,"

B, this saves even more trouble!

A arrived at the stall stall in Dong'an Market and shouted, "I just dipped it!" "

Yi Lian doesn't even have the word "Gourd"!

A is called Tanghulu'er in Beijing, and Tangdun'er in Tianjin. The easiest thing to say is just one word: "Dun'er hey." ——"

B is right.

A is selling candied haws. There is also a fruit seller: "Here comes the fragrant fruit! Smell the fragrant fruit! ”

B is really nice.

A is like singing a folk song. If you can memorize the music, write it down and it will be very nice to sing.

Can B still compose this?

I have composed it for A. If you don’t believe it, just listen to it.

B, you can hum it.

A. What are you selling?

B... I don’t know!

A is selling peas.

I remember selling peas like this: "Cow." Come on, peas! "

A

B "Give me more peas than hazelnuts." "

A

B "Come and give me more peas. ”

A

B Hey! It’s just like singing.

The person A is most particular about shouting is the cloth seller. There are two kinds in Tianjin and two in Beijing.

What are the two types of products in Tianjin?

A is one that goes around the alleys, and the other is those that set up stalls on the streets. How do you shout when walking in an alley?

A, let me teach you: "Buy striped cloth for linings, noodles, assorted whites, and make trousers and jackets." "

B, hey, it all tastes like this, where is the kind that sets up a stall?

A's carelessness can scare you.

B Really?

A is so frightened and deceitful that people with neurasthenia dare not hit him in the head!

B, learn from this. >A: "Look at this piece. It's really fine and the color won't fade. I can buy it and make it at home -"

B:

A, this is Tianjin! There are two kinds of cloth heads.

What about B’s Beijing ones?

A also has two kinds, one with soft tone and one with hard tone.

B, please learn from this soft tone.

A: "This piece of shouting, shouting is cheap, so there is no price. This piece is white in nature, why is it so white, why is it so so?" White, hey, why do you think it's so white? ”

B. How could I know?

A. “Why is it so white? It’s so angry that it’s snowing in the first place, and it won’t let the second frost pass. Ya Sai is better than Fuxing’s foreign white noodles.” Come on, just buy it and make it into a quilt in your hometown. It is forbidden to wash and dry it, it is forbidden to spread it and cover it, it is forbidden to pull it and it is forbidden to pull it, it is forbidden to step on it and it is forbidden to touch it! "

What's wrong with person B?

A is full.

B probably describes his cloth as strong.

A will give you another black one. This one is made of German green.

B is right. I used to say that German dye is good.

A: “This piece of German green is so beautiful.” Black, why is it so dark? Hey, why do you think it is so dark? "

B ah...here it comes again!

A "Why is it so black? Zhang Fei is so angry that he won't let Li Kui. He is better than the black Jingde of the Tang Dynasty. In It has delivered charcoal in Dongshan, cut out coal in Xishan, operated a coal factory for two days and sold coal for two days, and it must have been the second shopkeeper of the coal shop for two days. This piece of German green is a real German dye. It is a fabric made by a German. It is nicknamed "Three Not Afraid". What is "Three Not Afraid": it is not afraid of washing, it is not afraid of getting wet, it is not afraid of being exposed to the sun, no matter how you wash it. , it doesn’t fade! "

B Oh, German youth.

A White cloth!

B White cloth?

A "White cloth does not fade!" "

B: Nonsense! Is the white cloth fading?

A: "No matter how wide the face is, how thick the fabric is, no matter how fast the scissors are, it can't be cut!" ”

Yi cloth boss?

A iron plate!

Where is the iron plate B? How to cut the coat?

A Scissors can't cut it, so you have to use a steel rolling mill to roll it.

B After rolling, use needle and thread to sew?

A. Rivet the rivet and weld it with electric welding. After welding, put it through and take a look.

B A big coat.

A Boiler!

B Are there boilers running all over the street?

A There is another kind of hard-charging salesman.

B Then why are you shouting?

A This kind of cloth salesman is a liar. He sells cloth without a ruler.

B How to measure it?

A To use Tuo Tuo, stretch both hands into one Tuo.

B How much is one unit?

A A tuan is five feet, regardless of whether you are tall or short. The cloth seller is a big tall guy, a tuan is five feet; this is a short guy, a tuan is also five feet.

B Okay.

A cloth seller like A is very particular about lying. For example, this piece of cloth is worth one yuan, and he asks you for three yuan, and then slowly lowers the price, and you buy it, and you end up suffering a loss. .

B Yes.

A But sometimes he himself is confused. I will teach you how to do it like this kind of cloth salesman.

B Come and learn.

A You have to do me a favor.

B How can I help?

A You think of me as a little boy, weighing this piece of cloth, and you want to say a few words when I lower the price.

What did B say?

A "Don't give in. Look at the book. If you give in again, you will be compensated."

B Okay.

A "Hey..." .

B “I’ll pay you!”

A What’s the matter?

B Oh, it’s too early!

A You can talk about it when I make a concession.

Row B.

A "Hey, this piece is too cheap, don't do it like that, come here again, this piece is completely different from that piece, the one just now, that one is called German Youth, I just want a piece like this from Xian Dayang. This piece is called Qingyu’s trademark indane silin cloth. If you buy this piece of shilin cloth, go make a coat in your hometown and wear it. Walking on the street, everyone looked at me and wondered what kind of big shopkeeper you were. This piece of Shilin cloth is wide and long, and it must be tall, and it must be three arms thick. A fat man has a big head, a big butt, and two big thick legs. He is fat enough. You go to a big cloth store and buy this piece of Shilin cloth. You always have to ask for it by name. When you arrive in Beijing, pay attention to the Eight Great Xiangs, Ruifuxiang, Ruilinxiang, Guangshengxiang, Yihexiang, Xiangyihao, and Langfang Toutiao, which faces north and south. Qianxiangyi, when you go to Badaxiang, you have to pay 18 cents for a foot. If you don’t have 18 cents, you can’t buy something so thin, so wide, so dense, so thick, and so good. Come to our stall. All kinds of goods, all kinds of prices, all kinds of markets, no one wants to buy the rags from the small cloth stalls! Come to our stall, you have time! Let us give you a price for the size of Tuo Tuo. One Tuo and five feet, two Tuo and one foot, three Tuo and one foot and five, four Tuo and two feet, two feet and one foot. This large size is considered to be two feet for you. In the store, if you buy one foot for 18 cents, ten feet for 18 cents, or 2816 for 3.6 cents, when you come to our stall, you don’t need 3.6 cents, but if you pay 60 cents for it, you will get three yuan. If you don't want two cents, you don't need three yuan. It doesn't matter if you don't want it. I have to let it go if I take off two cents. If I give two cents, you give me two yuan and six. Take two cents, give me two cents, that person said, you wrap it up, cloth seller, you wrap it up, I'll take the two yuan, if you want to buy it now, why don't you sell it? What's going on, I'm losing money and making money. The little apprentice knows that he has no money for handicrafts, so he just weaves some coarse blue cloth and big white cloth! He needs to learn well. The old lady Hua Si Ge's name is Cat——Hua. Er Hua Er Hua Er crepe! This is not two dollars. If you take away two cents, you will receive two cents, and you will receive one dollar and six. If you take away 20 cents, it’s just one dollar; if you take away 50 cents and let it cost 50 cents...”

How much does B have left?

A took it for nothing!