First, the body posture.
Body posture is an important part of etiquette. Physical beauty is a charming and infectious beauty, which can make people show temperament, cultivation, character and inner beauty in sports. In a sense, a person's various gestures are more eye-catching and the image effect is more obvious. Gestures and manners can often express people's spiritual feelings more truly than words. Correcting beautiful and elegant gestures shows a person's inner caution, wisdom and vitality, which can be described as "silence is better than sound" If a person looks handsome and luxuriously dressed, but does not have the corresponding posture and behavior beauty, it gives people a sense of vanity and superficiality. Body posture mainly includes standing, walking, sitting and lying. "Stand like a pine, sit like a bell, walk like the wind and lie like a bow". That is to say, when sitting and walking, you should sit and sit, stand and walk in a walking posture. This is a posture paradigm put forward by the ancients and can still be used for reference today.
1, standing posture
Standing is one of the most basic behaviors in people's life communication, and it is an action of static modeling of life. Beautiful and elegant modeling is the basis of elegant behavior. Men demand "stand upright as loose" and be resolute and free and easy; A lady should be beautiful and elegant in beauty and elegance.
The standard standing posture is: (1) straight head, straight eyes, slightly closed mouth, miniature jaw, calm and natural face. (2) The shoulders are relaxed and slightly sinking, which makes people feel upward. (3) The torso should be straight, chest out, abdomen in and waist out. (4) The arms naturally hang at the sides of the body, the middle finger is close to the trousers seam, and the hands naturally relax. (5) The legs are straight and close together, the heels are close together, the toes are open about 60 degrees, and the body center of gravity falls between the feet.
Several common standing postures: (1) Stand well. Stand up straight, put your hands on your sides, your legs are naturally close together, your heels are close together, and your feet are separated into a V shape. The facial expression is serious, solemn and natural. When attending the flag-raising ceremony or solemn occasion and the farewell ceremony of the remains, you should stand in a standing posture. (2) upright. Stand up straight, put your right hand on your left hand and stick it to your abdomen naturally (hand in hand), or put your hands behind your hips (hand in hand), with your legs together, your heels tight, and your feet separated in a V shape. It is suitable for both men and women, and men can stand with their feet slightly apart, which is more free and easy. Stand up straight, put your right hand on your left hand, naturally stick it on your abdomen, and put your right foot forward slightly on your left foot in a T-step. (4) upright (male upright posture). Stand up straight, put your hands behind your back, stick them on your hips, keep your legs apart, and keep your feet parallel, slightly narrower than your shoulders. Correct bodybuilding posture will give people the impression of being tall and straight, graceful, solemn and generous, full of energy, confident and positive. Different positions have different regulations on standing posture, but as a basic posture and posture training, the basic requirements that standing posture should follow are the same. Standing posture, consisting of the basic requirements of standing posture, seems dull, but it is not. Repeated training according to these requirements can form an elegant, straight and energetic posture. The basic paradigm of standing posture is the basis of other working postures, and it is also the starting point for developing different texture beauty and elegant and dignified manners.
2. Sitting posture
Sitting is one of the main contents of etiquette, whether it is studying at a desk, attending meetings, interacting with people, talking or having fun. Sitting, as a kind of etiquette, is divided into beauty, ugliness and elegance. Sitting posture? Quot sitting like a clock means that a person sits as straight as a clock. Of course, the end here is the end of the upper body, which is straight. Beautiful sitting posture makes people feel serene, comfortable, straight and generous.
Correct sitting posture: (1) light sitting, steady sitting and slow sitting. Go to your seat, turn around and sit down gently. When a woman is seated, if it is a dress, put her hands around the skirt slightly, and don't pull the skirt after sitting down, which is not elegant. It is polite to sit on the left side of the chair in formal occasions and leave it when you leave your seat. A lady should be elegant, quiet and gentle when sitting. If the chair is in the wrong position and needs to be moved, first move the chair to the place where you want to sit, and then sit down. It's against social etiquette to move around in a chair. (2) The expression is calm and comfortable (lips are slightly closed, the jaw is miniature, and the face is calm and natural). (3) The shoulders should be flat and relaxed, and the arms should be naturally bent on the legs, or placed on the armchair or sofa armrest. Natural and decent, palm down is appropriate. (4) When sitting in a chair, stand up straight, hold your chest out, and your upper body is naturally straight. (5) Knees are naturally close together, legs are upright or placed sideways, and feet are close together or overlap or form a small "V" shape. A man's knees can be separated by one punch or so, and his feet can be slightly stepped or slightly divided to show the beauty of natural freedom, but he can't open his legs and feet at will, which will appear vulgar and arrogant. (6) Sitting in a chair, at least 2/3 of the chair should be filled, and the sofa with a wide seat should be at least 1/2. Don't lean back in the chair for at least 10 minutes after taking a seat. After a long time, you can lean back gently. (7) When speaking, according to the direction of the speaker, turn the knees of the upper body to the speaker and keep the upper body straight, so as not to show inferiority, compliment and please. Pay attention to manners and respect others, but don't lose self-esteem. (8) When leaving the seat, be natural and steady, step back half a step with your right foot, and then stand up.
Several standard sitting postures: (1) Legs together, upper body straight, correct sitting posture, feet slightly extended forward, hands on knees respectively (male legs slightly apart). (2) the sitting posture of the lady. Sit up straight, keep your upper body straight, put your legs together, cross your feet, and put your hands on your left or right leg. (3) the sitting posture of the lady (the famous S-shaped lady sitting posture). Sit up straight, with your upper body straight, legs together, legs sideways to the left or right at the same time, feet side by side or overlapping. Put your hands on your left or right leg. (4) Sitting posture with legs crossed. The method is that the left leg turns slightly to the right, the right thigh is placed on the left thigh, and the toes point to the ground (avoiding the right foot pointing to the sky). This sitting posture gives people a noble and elegant aesthetic feeling. But pay special attention to distinguish it from crossing your legs. Crossing one's legs generally means that the toes are suspended to face people, accompanied by indecent movements of shaking up and down. In some countries, it is taboo to face people with the sole of your foot, because it shows provocation, dissatisfaction, contempt and anger, and it is vulgar and obscene.
3. Walking posture
Walking posture is also called gait. Walking posture's demand of "walking like the wind" means that when people walk, they have a light and natural beauty when they are popular on the water. People walk in different ways, giving people different feelings. Some steps are vigorous, relaxed and flexible, full of flexibility and inspiring; Some steps are steady, dignified, natural and generous, giving people a feeling of calmness, solemnity and gentleness; Some steps are magnificent and powerful, giving people the impression of fortitude, courage and fearlessness; Some dance steps are light and agile, giving people a feeling of lightness, cheerfulness and softness. However, some people do not pay attention to the beauty of gait, and when walking, they bow their heads and stumble, giving people the feeling of fatigue and aging; Others shake their splayed feet and "duck" steps, which are ugly. The basic requirement of walking posture should be calm and should walk out of a straight line. Specific requirements: (1) Keep your eyes straight ahead, your chin slightly lowered, your facial expression calm and natural, don't look around, don't look back and don't stare at pedestrians. (2) The shoulders are stable, and the shoulder peaks extend backward. The big arm drives the small arm to swing back and forth naturally, and the shoulders should not shake; When swinging forward, don't exceed the vertical line of the button, bend the elbow slightly about 30 degrees, palm inward, forearm don't swing, and wrist don't swing when swinging backward. (3) The upper body is naturally straight, the head, chest, abdomen and waist are straight, and the center of gravity leans forward slightly. (4) Pay attention to the step position. When walking, suppose there is a straight line below. Men alternately step on a straight line with their heels, the heels land first, and then quickly transition to the forefoot, with their toes slightly outward, about 5 cm away from the straight line. Women should take a one-step walking posture, that is, two legs alternately step and two feet alternately step on a straight line (one-step walking posture). (5) The stride is appropriate. The male stride (the distance between the front and rear feet) is about 25 cm, and the female stride is about 20 cm. Or the heel of the forefoot is about a foot away from the toe of the hind paw. Stride is also related to clothing. For example, when a woman wears a skirt (especially a cheongsam, a suit skirt, a dress and high heels), the stride is smaller, and when she wears pants, the stride can be larger. (6) Pay attention to gait. Gait is the basic posture of walking. Different sexes should walk in different postures. Men's pace is vigorous, steady, resolute, free and easy, heroic, like a majestic "March", majestic and masculine, and the pace frequency is about 100 steps per minute; Women's steps are light, exquisite and refined, with the beauty and elegance of feminine beauty, and the pace frequency is about 90 steps per minute. (7) pay attention to rhyme. The stride should be all feet on the ground, the knees and ankles should not be too stiff, they should be elastic, the knees should be as straight as possible, and the arms should swing naturally and easily. Because of the sense of rhythm, the pace is beautiful and flexible. (8) When walking, don't put your hands in your clothes pockets, especially your pants pockets.
Second, gestures and expressions.
1, gesture
Gestures are indispensable actions in people's communication and the most expressive "body language". As the saying goes, "the heart thinks and the hand points." The charm of hands is no less than that of eyes. It can even be said that hands are people's second pair of eyes. Gestures are very rich in meaning, and the feelings expressed are also very subtle and complicated. Such as waving, waving goodbye, clapping your hands to praise, giving thanks, raising your hand to agree, waving to refuse; Hand caressing is love, fingers are anger, hands are kisses, hands are respect, hands are shame and so on. The meaning of gestures, whether conveying information, expressing likes and dislikes or expressing feelings, can be properly expressed through gestures, which will add luster to the communication image. When using gestures, you should pay attention to:
(1) In communication, don't overdo your gestures and actions, and don't "dictate" or "dance".
(2) Greeting, greeting, farewell, cheering and clapping belong to the scope of gestures, and attention, speed and time should be paid, not excessive. Applause is a polite way to express welcome, congratulations, approval, thanks, etc. In formal social occasions, people express their admiration and congratulations through warm applause, the appearance of important people, reports and speeches. The standard action of clapping hands should be to pat the palm of the left palm with the palm of the right hand. You shouldn't wear gloves when clapping. It should be natural, avoid clapping hard and stop naturally. Clap warmly, but don't get carried away. Once you get carried away, the meaning of applause will change qualitatively, becoming "booing" and "drumming backwards", which is suspected of booing. This is impolite. Pay attention to clapping and try not to use words to cooperate. This is a sign of lack of self-cultivation.
(3) Under no circumstances should you point your thumb at the tip of your nose or point your finger at others. When talking about yourself, gently press your left chest with your palm, which will be dignified, generous and credible. It is impolite to point your finger at other people's gestures.
(4) It is generally believed that the palm-up gesture implies sincerity and respect for others; The palm-down gesture means lack of frankness and sincerity. A clenched fist implies attack and self-defense, and also expresses anger. Point out that your finger is to attract others' attention, which means teaching others. Therefore, when introducing people, giving directions and asking people to do things, you should put your palms up, take your elbow as the axis, and lean forward slightly to show respect. This gesture is considered sincere, respectful and polite.
(5) When using some gestures, we should pay attention to the different habits of different regions and countries, and we should not use them indiscriminately. Because customs vary greatly from place to place, the meaning expressed by the same gesture is not only different, but also very different. For example, in some countries, thumbs up and four other fingers curl up to express praise, but Australia thinks thumbs up, especially horizontal thumbs up, is an insult. The British thumb means to stop the car and ask for a ride. Make a circle with your thumb and forefinger, and straighten the other three fingers, which is the "OK" gesture. This gesture means praise and commitment in Europe, especially among young students. However, in southern France, Greece, Sardinia and other places, its meaning is just the opposite. In Brazil, people use the "OK" gesture to indicate "anus". Arabs pull two little fingers together to show that they have broken diplomatic relations, and gypsies dust off their shoulders to show that you should get out. It is not difficult to see that each culture has its own "gesture language", which is full of unparalleled human emotions. Although not as practical as audio language, it can play an irreplaceable role in interpersonal communication. Some indecent behaviors in daily life will be extremely aggressive and seriously affect communication etiquette and self-image, so we should pay great attention to avoid them. Such as scratching the scalp, digging ears, picking nostrils, picking teeth, biting nails, gouging out eyes, rubbing dirt, etc. Pay more attention in public and at the dinner table. Don't eat food with peculiar smell such as onion, garlic and leek before attending social activities. If you have eaten this kind of food, rinse your mouth and contain tea, chewing gum and oral liquid to remove the odor. When coughing or sneezing, please cover your mouth with a handkerchief or paper towel and turn to one side to avoid making a loud noise. If you have phlegm in your mouth, please spit it in toilet paper and handkerchief and throw the garbage into the dustbin. Especially when visiting others, these simple etiquette requirements must be observed, otherwise you are an unwelcome person.
Step 2 show
Expression is the expression of people's inner feelings on the face, voice or body posture. When external objective things stimulate the brain in the form of objects, languages, behaviors, etc., people will produce various internal reactions, that is, emotions, which will be presented through the corresponding expressions of the human body, manifested in people's face, body, posture, voice and so on. People often say that love is in the heart, in the form, and in the sound. Human facial expressions are very complicated. The ancients said, "People have faces, but houses have doors. Before he entered the room, he saw the door first. " . Modern psychologists have summed up a formula: emotional expression = speech (7%)+ voice (38%)+ expression (55%). For example, on the phone, you can't see the caller, but your expression affects the sound you hear. No one can say a nice and kind greeting with an angry expression. It can be seen that expressions play a very important role in emotional communication between people. A healthy expression leaves a deep impression on people and is an important part of elegance. Here we focus on the eyes and smiles in facial expressions.
(1) gaze
The eyes are the most effective organs for human body to transmit information, and can express the most subtle and subtle inner feelings. From a person's eyes, you can often see his whole inner world. Good communication image, calm eyes, kind, kind and thoughtful. Especially when talking with people, keep your eyes on each other, don't dodge, don't waver. During the whole conversation, the cumulative contact between eyes and the other person should reach 50% ~ 70% of the whole conversation. In interpersonal communication, such as dullness, indifference, fatigue, indifference, panic, hostility, contempt and glance left and right should be avoided, not to mention winking at people. Introduce several kinds of gaze: official gaze: used in formal occasions such as negotiation, consultation and negotiation. Give people a sense of seriousness. This gaze is located on the other person's face, with the eyes as the bottom line and up to the forehead. When talking about official business, when you look at this part of the other party, it will look serious, and the other party will think that you are sincere, so that you have the initiative and control over the conversation. Social gaze: the gaze used in various social occasions is located in the triangle area between the other person's lips and eyes. When you look at this area of the other person's face, it will create a social atmosphere and make people feel relaxed and natural. This gaze is mainly used for tea parties, dances and various types of friendship parties. Intimate gaze: the object of gaze is the way of gaze used between relatives, lovers and family members. The gaze position is between the other person's eyes and chest. When you speak, you should turn your eyes to the speaker to show that you are listening. At this time, you should focus on a certain area of the other person and avoid "focusing" on a certain part of the other person's eyes or face, because this will make the other person uncomfortable, uneasy, and even feel insulted, and inadvertently accumulate small evils to produce resistance and hostility, which is not worth it.
Step 2 smile
There are many kinds of smiles, such as snicker, smile, guffaw, smirk, shy smile, hearty laugh, hearty laugh, embarrassed smile, ridicule, wry smile and so on, among which smile is the most beautiful. A smile is a smile with no teeth exposed and the corners of the mouth slightly raised. Almost no one can't smile, but quite a few people are not good at using smiles. Smile is the most attractive, pleasant and valuable facial expression in social situations. It can complement each other with words and actions. It not only shows the most beautiful emotional factors in interpersonal communication, such as friendliness, frankness, humility, harmony and harmony, but also embodies the self-confidence, self-restraint, harmonious interpersonal relationship and healthy psychology of the communicators. It can not only convey and express friendliness and goodwill, but also express apology and understanding. Therefore, smile has a very profound connotation in social life and work. Smile and accept criticism, showing that you admit your mistakes but are not afraid; Accepting the honor with a smile shows that you are full of joy but not complacent; When you meet a leader or teacher, give a smile to show respect but not please; Face difficulties with a smile, greet tragic misfortunes with a smile, and deal with all misfortunes with a hundred times of courage, which shows that you can stand the test and temper, and you have the courage and confidence to overcome difficulties. In fact, a gentle and subtle smile is not only a means to cope with social interaction, but also contains a person's life values. There is a saying in our country called? Quot make money harmoniously. " To achieve something, we need the right time, place and people. Weather is not as good as geography, geography is not as good as harmony with people, and smiling is the easiest way to create a harmonious atmosphere. Smile is a precious intangible asset of human beings. It can be said that success begins with a smile. Personnel managers in big companies often say? Quot A primary school graduate with a pure smile is more useful than a doctor of philosophy with a cold face. "Because smile is the basic quality of a worker and the most effective trademark of the company, which is more beneficial than any advertisement. Only in this way can it be deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. It should be noted that the smile must be heartfelt, kind and natural. Only a smile from the heart is attractive and pleasant. Don't pretend to smile and grin just to please others. Of course, you can't laugh when you attend a memorial service, sweep the grave, or when others are sad, on very serious occasions.
Third, delivery and delivery.
Sending and receiving things is a common behavior in life. A small gesture can also reflect a person's accomplishment. A basic principle of etiquette is to respect others, and handing or receiving things with both hands is just respect for each other.
1. Submit your business card.
Business cards are an excellent tool to introduce yourself. In the Western Han Dynasty, the name was engraved on bamboo slips to announce the name, which was called "Yi" and in the Eastern Han Dynasty, it was called "Ming Temple". This is actually an early business card. Later, there was a white paper, which was called a famous post or post with pieces of paper. It was widely circulated in the Qing Dynasty, and most officials had their own business cards. Business cards are widely used in modern society because they are simple, flexible and civilized to use. In general, a business card is a symbol of a person's identity and status, and it is also a way for users to ask for social recognition and gain social respect. To some extent, it is also a microcosm of the image of the user's organization. Therefore, the exchange of business cards should pay attention to its etiquette effect, and proper use of business cards will be polite and awe-inspiring. The exchange of business cards is the first step to establish interpersonal relationships, which should generally be carried out after the first meeting, self-introduction or introduction by others. When handing a business card, smile, look the other person in the eye, face the business card to the other person, hold the two corners at the top of the business card respectfully with your thumb and forefinger, and give it to the other person. If you are sitting, you should stand up or bend down to give birth. When you send it, you can say something kind, such as "My name is XX and this is my business card" or "Please take care of me". When submitting a business card, you should submit it to the other party. Some people leave their business cards on the table, which is not effective. The person who accepts the business card should also get up or bend over, smile and respectfully accept the business card with both hands, and say "thank you", "it's an honor to receive your business card", "I've heard so much about you" and so on. After receiving the business card, you should confirm the name and position of the other party. Be sure to form this habit, otherwise it is impolite to say the wrong name or position of the other person in conversation. If you encounter a difficult surname, ask the other person politely, "How do you pronounce your title?" Or "Sorry, your last name is rare. How to read it? " Then seriously put his (her) business card in his (her) business card box or business card holder in front of the other person. Don't put it anywhere, don't put it on the table or in your pants pocket, it's disrespectful to others. Please remember: business cards play a good or bad role in others' first impression of you.
2. Submission of documents and materials
When there are documents and materials that need to be read and signed by superiors at work, they should be handed in with both hands, and the front of the documents should face the receiver.
3. Submit other projects
Pass items to each other with both hands to show respect for each other. When handing sharp objects such as pens, knives and scissors, you need to point the tip of your hand at yourself, not at the other side. Respectfully accept the items handed over by the other party, but also pick them up with both hands and greet or thank them in an appropriate way. Please note: the more formal and solemn the occasion, the greater the disparity between people who meet for the first time and their status, and the more attention should be paid to etiquette. Need to be reminded that when dealing with foreign guests, you can first pay attention to whether the other party delivers goods with one hand or two hands, and then follow suit. For example, in Thailand, India, Malaysia and some countries in the Middle East, people hold things with their right hands and avoid using their left hands. Show respect with your right hand when handing something to others. They think that the left hand is used for bathing and going to the toilet, which is not clean. Japanese people like to send business cards with their right hand and receive each other's business cards with their left hand.
Fourth, greeting etiquette
Greeting means to meet and say hello. In modern society, greeting ceremony is the first step in interpersonal communication and occupies an important position in etiquette. No matter which country, nationality and faith people meet, they should use all kinds of gifts. The common greetings in our country are: waving, nodding and smiling, shaking hands, bowing and staring.
1, shake hands
Shaking hands is a legacy left by stone age cavemen. At that time, people hunted with weapons in their hands. When they meet strangers, if both sides are harmless and don't want to have a conflict, they will lay down their weapons, then open their right hands to each other, show their palms, or let each other touch their palms to show friendship. With the changes of the times, this custom has gradually evolved into a polite way of holding hands. Nowadays, people in most countries have grasped the hand ceremony as a habitual ceremony. Modern people shake hands with many meanings: to show friendliness, welcome and greetings when meeting; Say goodbye when you leave; It also expresses greetings, thanks, condolences, congratulations and comfort to others. Standard handshake posture (handshake in meaning of etiquette): About one step away from the recipient, the right arm naturally stretches forward, the right hand extends out, and the thumb slightly grips the palm of the other person (the palm should be perpendicular to the ground). His left arm hangs naturally, his eyes stare at each other, he smiles, his upper body leans forward slightly, and his head is slightly lower. Everyone in modern society should learn to shake hands with acquaintances or strangers easily on various occasions, which is a courtesy. Pay attention to several principles when shaking hands: First, pay attention to the order of reaching out. The order of reaching out should be determined according to social status, age, gender and the identity of the guest and the host. General compliance? Quot honour person decides "principle, that is, honour person reaches out first. The basic etiquette of shaking hands is: when friends of the same age meet, make a gesture of respect first; When shaking hands between elders and juniors, between men and women, between superiors and subordinates, and between hosts and guests, elders, ladies, superiors and hosts should take the initiative first, while juniors, subordinates and men greet guests before shaking hands; If the woman has no intention of shaking hands between men and women, the man can nod or bow, and if the man is an elder or superior, he can reach out first. When guests say goodbye, they should reach out and say goodbye before the host can shake hands. In social, business and official occasions, when others have reached out their hands in order, they should shake hands immediately. It is extremely impolite to refuse others' handshakes and ignore the friendship that has been expressed. Second, hold out your right hand when shaking hands, and never hold out your left hand. It is impolite to extend your left hand. In particular, some countries and regions prohibit shaking hands with the left hand. Under special circumstances, you should not hold hands with your right hand. You should explain why and apologize. Third, take off your hat and gloves before shaking hands. Because wearing gloves itself means hating others touching your hand, even if the other person has a very good relationship with you, this handshake will have a bad influence. In most countries, it is impolite and insulting to wear gloves to shake hands with others. Therefore, you should avoid wearing gloves to shake hands with others. Soldiers don't have to take off their hats when shaking hands with others. They should salute first and then shake hands. In western countries, when a lady wears a dress hat and gloves, she can shake hands with others without taking off her gloves. Fourth, when shaking hands with people, you should take a standing posture (except for the elderly, the infirm or the disabled). Fifth, it is not appropriate to cross your hands. When you meet more than two people, you should shake hands one by one. In some countries, grasping the hand is regarded as a symbol of bad omen, and crossing into "ten" means crossing, which will inevitably bring misfortune. Also note that when shaking hands with many people, the length of time is roughly the same, so don't give people the feeling of favoritism. Sixth, men and women shake hands, the time should not be too long, and the grip strength should be lighter. Generally speaking, women should hold their fingers. Seventh, show respect. When shaking hands, your upper body leans forward slightly, your head is slightly lower and you smile. Look into each other's eyes and shake hands while saying hello, for example? Quot Hello, Nice to meet you, Welcome, Thank you and so on. To sum up, ten taboos of shaking hands are summarized. Don't talk about order, take the lead; Second, avoid distractions and carelessness; Three bogey do not take off gloves, self-esteem; Four bogey palms down, defiant; Five bogey improper exertion, perfunctory recklessness; It is against custom to shake hands with your left hand. Seven taboos "begging" handshake, too modest; Eight bogeys shake hands for too long, which makes people feel at a loss; Nine don't abuse the "double grip", embarrassed; Don't shake hands with the "dead fish", take it lightly.