The background music of the news network is playing. A: Good evening, viewers. B: Good evening. A: Today is Monday, April 30, 2012, the tenth day of the fourth lunar month. Welcome to the Xinwen Lianbo program. B: The main content of today’s program is A: Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang, two crosstalk actors from the Beijing Hip-Hop Baozi Shop, will hold a special crosstalk performance at the Haidian Theater in Beijing. B: The United Nations High-Level Meeting on the Millennium Development Goals was held at the United Nations Headquarters. The main topics of the meeting were It is a study and discussion on whether Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang’s cross talk characters meet the needs of the current market and whether they lead a new trend in the development of cross talk. A: Heads of state from all over the world sent congratulatory messages one after another. They said in their congratulatory messages: The cross talk between Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang has made outstanding contributions to world peace and development in the past year. Especially affirmation of the shameless spirit of Jia Xuming and Zhang Kang. (Confident smiles of two people) B: Celebrities from all walks of life arrived at the Haidian Theater to pay a 4-hour official goodwill visit for Jia Zhang’s collaborative performance. A: People who came to watch the performance today include B: Obama A: Bin Laden B: Ban Ki-moon A: Gaddafi B: George W. Bush A: Saddam B: Kim Jong-un A: Kim ZR B: (looks at A) A: (the two look at each other) B: I am reading the list here A: I am reading the list over there. B: People on both sides are very concerned about this performance. A: Especially the people over there are more concerned about it. B: They said that if the effect of this performance is not good, they will not hesitate. Take Jia Xuming away A: (look at B) B: The main reason is because Zhang Kang does not have a boat ticket A: (look at A) B: We will *** together recall the period from January 1, 2012 to May 2012 Please see the newsletter for the main news content of March 1st. A: Bi Fujian hosted the CCTV Spring Festival Gala for the first time. It was really different with Bi Fujian as the host. The stars of the Spring Festival Gala all showed the level of the Avenue of Stars. B: In the Year of the Dragon Spring Festival Gala, Li Yapeng is the strongest man in history, because everyone from Qu Ying to Zhou Xun to Faye Wong has followed Li Yapeng, and their voices have become hoarse. A: On March 20, when faced with the simultaneous price increases of Sinopec, PetroChina, and CNOOC, China Waste Oil made it clear that it would not follow suit for the time being. B: In response to this, the general public praised it. This is a responsible and conscientious central enterprise! A: The Municipal Traffic Management Bureau informed that due to the increase in No. 93 gasoline to 8.33 yuan per liter, the traffic flow has dropped significantly, but the pedestrian flow has increased and the traffic pressure has increased. For this reason, pedestrian restrictions will be implemented from May 1. Single eyelids travel on a single day, double eyelids travel on two days, single eyelids and double eyelids travel at night. Travelers wearing sunglasses will be treated as deliberately blocking the number plate. Blind travelers will be treated as having no number plate. For those who have had double eyelid surgery, they will be dealt with accordingly. Please tell each other and wish everyone a happy May 1st in advance. B: The 315 Party revealed that many large companies were selling expired food. In fact, we should not condemn them, but should thank them. They have helped us cultivate our indestructible bodies. Xinhua News Agency reported that a restaurant in California, USA, was found guilty of using unhygienic tableware. More than 200 diners were hospitalized due to diarrhea, but the diners from China not only did not feel any discomfort, but also participated in the rescue work. The American reporters present lamented that the era of the Chinese as the sick man of Asia is gone forever, and today’s Chinese Invulnerable to all poisons! A: Look, the person who made leather shoe medicine just ate Sudan Red salted duck eggs the day before. The person who made Sudan Red drank gutter oil the day before yesterday. The breakfast milk of the person who made the gutter oil was all Sanju. The guy from San Ju Nai was taking clenbuterol every day and had diarrhea and was hospitalized. He is taking leather shoe capsules right now. Don’t apologize. This is called compound, three-dimensional and leap-forward comprehensive management. B: If I want to eat it in the future When the jelly was gone, I took my leather shoes and licked them. If I want to eat old yogurt, I will lick my leather shoes. If I catch a cold, I will lick my leather shoes. When I have money, I will definitely buy two pairs of leather shoes, wear one pair and eat one pair. A: I can go to the hall, go to the kitchen, climb mountains, wade in ponds, make yogurt, and press capsules. In 2012, leather shoes are very busy. B: Every day, we hear news exposing all kinds of poisonous foods around us. Occasionally, we see that the content of harmful substances is clearly marked on cigarette packages, clearly reminding that smoking is harmful to health. I felt inexplicably moved.

A: When Guangzhou Evergrande played against the Japanese Football League champions Baitai Yingshen, the fans raised slogans on the spot, saying the Diaoyu Islands are ours and Sora Aoi is everyone's. B: Sora Aoi endorsed Longjing for a huge amount of money. Netizens have questioned whether Longjing is green tea or scented tea. A: Aoi and Longjing both have the same tic-tac-toe, so we don’t know what the tic-tac-toe represents, because there are only two wells horizontally and vertically. B: The following is sports news. After unremitting efforts, Messi finally averaged more points per game than the United Arab Emirates: Yi Jianlian has grown from an ordinary substitute player to an absolute substitute player after several years of hard work in the NBA. B: Beijing has a basketball team and won Beijing's first Sino-Japanese men's basketball final championship. Two people played the most important roles, one was Marbury and the other was Su Wei. A: Beijing fans finally gave up their years of insulting Beijing and changed their name to Su Wei. The Municipal Government Club tearfully presented the banner to Comrade Solvay in recognition of his great contribution to the civilized playing field. Unexpectedly, Su Wei cured the stubborn illness that had not been cured for a long time since entering the professional league. B: Chinese football went global, stalled, and failed again. Fans calmly said that this is the outcome it should have. A: I have watched the Chinese football team play for more than ten years, and the most common thing the commentators say is: There is not much time left for the Chinese football team. B: Regarding the issue of bonuses for the national football team, the Football Association recently announced a plan to enter the top ten, 5 million, and enter the World Cup, and another 10 million. In order to have a greater chance of winning the 15 million, the players bought a welfare lottery A: Shu Qi deleted all Weibo, a person with 200,000 fans quarreled with a person with 4 million fans, and forced one to pay 10 million The fan deleted Weibo. B: In various places in Beijing, there are indescribable billboards of various sizes and posters promoting the spirit of Beijing. Be patriotic, innovative, tolerant, virtuous, and apply for certificates. A: Invoice. WeChat Shake is a good social tool. It took only a few months for all Parkinson’s patients across the country to get to know each other and become friends. B: I heard that China wants to build its own aircraft carrier. The most pertinent suggestion from the Ministry of Railways is that China should only build one aircraft carrier. A: Beijing Li Yun will build an English-speaking building. People inside are not allowed to speak Chinese. In fact, this kind of thing is not new, because there is a precedent in China. People who work in big pants are not allowed to tell the truth. B: The divorce rate in China has been increasing for seven consecutive years, with more than 5,000 couples divorcing every day. In order to control the number of divorced couples, Beijing will implement a lottery for divorce. A: I just saw that Apple phones were burned during the Qingming Festival for fear that the ancestors would not be able to use them. The owner of the priest shop said that Steve Jobs had already gone down to hand them over. Don’t worry. B: Because the price of cemeteries has increased significantly, many people have made it clear in their wills that they request to be buried standing up, with the upper body exposed, so as to save land and money for tombstones. A: There is another generation in China. When they are in elementary school, they go to college for free. When they go to college, they don’t have to pay for elementary school. When they are not working, jobs are assigned. When they can work, they have to find a career. When they are not making money, houses are assigned. You can make money. Then I discovered that I couldn't afford a house or marry a wife. Even a fool can make money before entering the stock market. But when he rushes in excitedly, he realizes that he has become a fool. They are always not in a hurry, and always live tenaciously after complaining. They are the post-80s generation. B: Live in the most expensive house in the world, drive the most expensive car in the world, pay the most expensive fees in the world, burn the most expensive oil in the world, drive on the most congested road in the world, and pay all the bills in the world They spend the most money to pay for travel, avoid the most privileged cars in the world, are exposed to the most dense electronic eyes in the world, and worry about the weirdest fines in the world, but they still live resolutely. They are Beijingers. A: The reason why many Chinese people don’t like Xinwen Lianbo is because they are jealous that the Chinese people in it live too happy lives. B: Today’s news broadcast is over. A: Thank you for watching.