1. The library is made of paper.

2. I have never heard of storytelling!

3. No, it is equivalent to OK now.

4. The girl is a flirt, with a big face!

5. Uncle or aunt, who has a bigger face?

6. Don’t take the knife out of its sheath casually, or you will see blood when you take it out of its sheath. 7. Han Xin, you are not a kind person!

8. Lu Bu thought: The thief Cao Cao is cunning!

9. The boy grew up without being naughty.

10. What are your motives for coming to this world?

11. Wu Zetian took the old ticket and boarded the harem luxury yacht again.

12. Let me tell you, people today are not mentally retarded and cannot be leaders!

13. Or open a host training class. Now the media is mentally retarded

14. The first official position is Luoyang County Beibu Lieutenant, which is equivalent to the deputy county-level public security director.

15. Liu Bang contracted rheumatoid arthritis during many years of fighting. This is also possible!

16. The imperial court sent people to investigate King Wu, but no weapons of mass destruction were found.

17. Baby, come back, okay? Stop making trouble and come back with me. hellip; hellip; (Cao Cao persuaded his wife to go home)

18. "I am not an expert or scholar. I am just a pathfinder, a mine traveler. I can sacrifice at any time."

19. Cao Cao likes beautiful women wherever he goes. "Cuddle the grass and hunt the rabbits", recruit some beauties and so on!

20. If you don’t listen to my ideas, I will be hired by you and I will plan for you loyally. Bye-bye, I changed my boss.

21. Cao Cao is short, probably about the same size as me. Compared with the 1.84-meter Zhuge Liang, it can only be regarded as an unqualified defective product.

22. Xiang Yu is so humane and so attractive to girls. I am afraid that girls at that time would marry Xiang Yu like this.

23. If someone messes with you, you immediately pounce on it, take a bite, and hold on to it. What is this, a crab! Han Xin is definitely not a crab.

24. As for Liu Bang, at this time two girls were washing his feet, one on the left and one on the right. Maybe like us modern people, we also do some foot massage,

25. Before the Qing Dynasty entered the customs, the generals all learned from the Three Kingdoms, printed 1,000 copies of "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms" and distributed them to the generals. Internal documents were sent...

26. This makes us feel that Yuan Shao seems to have a genius and cannot listen to any correct opinions that are beneficial to him. He must listen to any wrong opinion that goes against him. This is very strange.

27. Cao Cao said to various princes: "Now is the best time to destroy Dong Zhuo - Dong Zhuo burned Luoyang, hijacked the emperor, and basically designated him as a terrorist organization.

"

28. "Since the princes who formed the Allied Forces are all east of Hangu Pass, this army is also called the Kwantung United Army, the Kwantung Allied Army and the Kwantung Rebels~~~referred to as 39; Kwantung Army 39 ;(--!!!)"

29. Whether others donate money or not is none of your business. If you steal other people's things, you still have to be reasonable and express it in the language of poetry. You Disgusting or not, sour or not, hypocritical or not!"

30. Yuan Shao meets guests at home all day long. In today's terms, he is running a salon and holding a salon party, and there is a lot of traffic and a huge crowd. The incident came to the attention of the authorities at the time.

31. "Their stupidity is directly proportional to their arrogance - Yuan Shao is crazier than Cao Cao, Yuan Shao is more stupid than Cao Cao; Yuan Shu is more crazy than Yuan Shao, Yuan Shu is more stupid than Yuan Shao. The most awesome and stupid one ~~~"

32. Yi Zhongtian is a historian, writer and scholar. CCTV - explains history in the "Hundred Forum" program, focusing on influential figures in the Han Dynasty because of their vernacular humor analysis. He is sought after and enjoys the title of academic super man.

33. By the way, Jiang Qian was also wronged . - He has never stolen any books, he is not ugly, and he is also a handsome guy, because Zhou Yu is a handsome guy, and the friends of handsome guys... are usually handsome guys.

34. It really doesn’t look good, it looks too good to be true, so there is a way to solve this problem. I think this method is "wonderful". The so-called "wonderful theory" means that history is on the inside and literature is on the outside. It has both historical truth and literary interest.

35. Yuan Shu believes that the emperor’s title is like a trademark under our market economy conditions. He thought that if he registered the Emperor's trademark first, no one else could do anything to him. Unexpectedly, he became "the target of public criticism".

36. "Cao Cao's so-called "Tuntian", "Tun" means the militarization of lifestyle; "Tian" means the centralization of production methods. This is a very clever policy! It is equivalent to Cao Cao establishing a 1700 years ago, the Production and Construction Corps 39; Well!"

37. "What should Zhao Cuo do at this time? He should put his tail between his legs and be a good man! Today's reform will be tomorrow's reform. , like a shit stick, making the whole court uneasy. "The vassal must be cut, but not like you Chao Cuo."

38. Brothers Yuan Shang and Yuan Xi combined: " Let's invite Gongsun Kang's boys to drink wine and give it to him at the banquet!" Gongsun Kang also thought here: "It's better to let their brothers drink wine and give it to them at the banquet..." As a result, Gongsun Kang did both!

39. Liu Bei is still good at escaping. He is like a rat on a ship. He always seemed to be the first to realize which ship would capsize... First he followed Gongsun Zan to defeat Yuan Shao, then he followed Cao Cao to defeat Lu Bu, and he followed Yuan Shao to defeat Cao Cao...

40. The so-called The empty city plan was also made up... Zhuge Liang moved the piano, put the incense burner, and called two children to sing karaoke on the tower... Sima Yi saw Zhuge Liang playing the piano, thought it was a plan, and said, "I'm going to the karaoke, you take me away." OK?~!"

41. "Yuan Shao is 39; the concubine is 39; Yuan Shu is 39; the direct descendant. Therefore, Yuan Shu always looks down on Yuan Shao: 39; Look, no wonder he was born by a little wife and can't do it. What a big deal~~ If you want to establish a new king, you must establish yourself. Why should you establish someone else? 39;"

42. "Yuan Shao wanted to establish a new king. Once, he went to Cao Cao for a drink. Give out a jade seal and drink.

It is estimated that Yuan Shao carved it himself, and discussed it with Cao Cao (weighing it with one hand as a whisper): 39; Look at... this thing, ah... How about, let us brothers do it~~ 39;"

43. "What does shaving have to do with Guan Yu?" At that time, people in the Three Kingdoms did not shave their heads and kept their hair full. It's just that the shaver and Guan Yu both have knives in their hands. ~~ Reminds me of a pair of couplets affixed to shaved heads: 39. How many heads are there in the world? Let’s see what I can do! 39; Who dares to go in and get a haircut after reading this? "

44. Did Sun Jian say this when he proposed? "If you get married, don't marry anyone else, you must marry me, put on your dowry, bring your sister, and drive you The carriage, "What does this sentence mean?" Green wheat, it grows on the hillside. If you don’t donate money while you are alive, what will you do with beads when you die? "

45. In Phoenix TV's "Century Lecture", the host asked me: You have been aware of yourself for more than 50 years and have proven yourself for more than 50 years. You should give yourself an explanation, right? ? I don’t want to write my "eulogy" so early. But if he wants to ask, just say it! What I said is that I am at least a fun person.

46. Many people who study history regard it as Treat it like a corpse, put it on the dissecting table, cut it bit by bit with a scalpel, take out the kidneys, liver and heart for study, but I don't really like it. When facing history, we should first feel its flesh and texture, and then talk about research.

47. Neither Huan Emperor nor Ling Emperor were suitable to be emperors... Ling Emperor's hobbies were literature, art and architectural art. . He still studies architecture. He works on research all day long, and as a result, he builds a tap water system in the palace! In addition, he will promote the scientific research results in the city and declare that the people in the city should drink tap water - you are the emperor, not the boss. Water!

48. At that time, people in Jiangdong called Sun Ce "Sun Lang" and Zhou Yu as "Zhou Lang". "Sun Lang" means "Sun handsome guy". , "Zhou Lang" is "Zhou Handsome Guy"... Handsome guys all like beauty, so Sun Ce and Zhou Yu married the two most beautiful girls at the time... It can be said that at this time, Zhou Yu was the leader in battlefield, officialdom, and love life. , Every scene is proud... Anyway, I am envious!

49. I divide my speech style into three realms: First, "righteousness", that is, based on historical facts! , maintain a serious academic attitude; the second is "interesting speaking", that is, on the basis of adhering to reality, emphasizing lifelike expressions. In order to achieve this level, I will add some interesting language, and sometimes it is necessary to add pepper, MSG and other seasonings can greatly stimulate the audience's listening interest; the third is "miao said", that is, analyzing history on the basis of the first two sentences and enlightening the audience, which is the highest level.

50. "Although in the eyes of scholars, Dream of Red Mansions is the No. 1 Chinese novel, ordinary people still know Water Margin and Three Kingdoms. You see, the grandfathers of suppliers from all walks of life are all characters in the Three Kingdoms and Water Margin - the robbers worship Song Jiang as their ancestor; the thieves worship Shi Qian (--!)... ;The God of Wealth is also Guan Yu... In my opinion, Guan Yu will become the ancestor of the matchmaking industry sooner or later, because Guan Yu pursues love. When he and Liu Bei were under Cao Cao, they said to Cao Cao before attacking Lu Bu: After defeating Lu Bu, you should marry me. Cao Cao agreed...Cao Cao took a look: The country is beautiful and fragrant! I got the moon first - the terrace near the water - and took it for myself. As a result, Guan Yu was very depressed. "