After graduating from the Unemployment Department of the American Unemployed University, Li Bai is now forty years old and still has not found a job. He is not the second generation of rich people. His father works as a security guard at the crematorium and his mother works as a gatekeeper at a sanitary napkin factory. Their incomes are also quite low. Therefore, as a turtle, he has never had a girlfriend until now, and he is still a prostitute. *, he has never even touched a girl's hand, and he is not handsome and is not attractive to the opposite sex.
Once he touched the face of a sow, the sow actually committed suicide the next day. Therefore, he felt very inferior and felt that he might as well die.
At the end of the year, his daughter had a flower to wear, but his father had too little money to buy it, so he pulled two meters of nylon rope and gave it to Li Bai, letting him figure out what to do with it.
Li Bai took the rope and prepared to find a deserted place to end his life. But who knew that just after he hanged himself, the rope exploded and broke into several pieces, making it useless. Li Bai was relieved when he saw the trademark. The rope was produced by Samsung in South Korea.
Li Bai was so lucky that he actually met a porcelain man after falling from a tree. A woman said that Li Bai hit her and wanted 10,000 yuan.
Of course Li Bai had no money, so the woman called and said that she would ask the underworld to kill him. Li Bai thought to himself that he no longer wanted to live anyway, so it didn't matter.
After a while, two black men got off a black bicycle. They said they were from the underworld and asked Li Bai to get the money quickly or they would kill him. Li Bai said nothing. One of the gangsters looked around on the ground, and the woman asked him what he was looking for. He said he was looking for Banerzhuan. The woman said that all gangsters use knives. I saw the gangster looking very embarrassed, saying that he hadn't eaten for several days. They just bought a steamed bun but had no money, so they mortgaged the knife. The woman asked why he didn't mortgage his bicycle. He said he didn't have a car these days and he was too embarrassed to say that he was from the underworld.
Li Bai sighed and said: "Even the underworld is so pitiful these days. Since we are all downgraded people, why bother making things difficult for each other."
The underworld who had been silent all this time listened. After reading Li Bai's words, I felt that Li Bai's eloquent words should be an educated person, and asked Li Bai which university he graduated from. Li Bai said it was an American unemployed university. After hearing this, the two gangsters burst into tears immediately, saying that they were graduates of Lachi University opposite Wuye University. Several people hugged each other and cried.
Since they are all buddies, they will naturally not embarrass Li Bai anymore. Before leaving, Li Bai taught them that they must be good people in the future, and they should not do illegal things even if they are begging for food. Several people were moved by Li Bai and decided to sell their bicycles, and then each of them bought a bowl and begged for food. Li Bai was very pleased.
After a few people left, Li Bai wanted to continue dying, but he was hungry and wanted to be a full man even if he wanted to die, so he walked forward aimlessly, and it became dark as he walked. In front of it turned out to be a cemetery.
Li Bai was originally a very timid person. Once he had a fight with an ant. Before the two parties started fighting, the ant roared so loudly that Li Bai was so frightened that he stayed in the hospital for half a month. But things were different now. He was about to die, so he was not afraid of anything, so he walked towards the cemetery to see if he could find something to eat.
Perhaps God is pitiful. In front of a tomb with a very elegant tombstone, there is a pot with water still boiling. Next to it are tofu, vegetables, and vermicelli. What is most incredible to Li Bai is that there is mutton.
Li Bai thought that the deceased must have liked to eat mutton-boiled meat when she was alive, so when her relatives came to see her, they used mutton-boiled meat to commemorate her.
Li Bai cooked the mutton on the spot.
Just when she was eating happily, there seemed to be some movement around her. If you listen carefully, it is coming from the grave.
Li Bai was about to die, so he was not afraid and continued to eat.
At this moment, a hand stretched out from the grave and grabbed Li Bai's chopsticks. Li Bai pulled hard, and a female ghost without a piece of meat came out. Li Bai wanted to vomit, but he thought about the shame of the hot-boiled mutton he had just eaten, so he held it back.
The female ghost tried to snatch his chopsticks, but Li Bai refused to let go until he died.
The female ghost said in a cold and terrifying voice: "Spit it out if you eat me."
At this time, Li Bai remembered the words of the revolutionary martyrs: "The head can be cut off, but the blood can be cut off." Hey, if you want to eat my mutton-shabu-shabu, you can’t.
"
The female ghost is a girl after all. She can't win over Li Bai, so she is anxious.
"You can't even eat so much by yourself." ”
Li Bai thought it was right, and let go of his chopsticks and gave them to the female ghost. The female ghost sat next to the pot, added some vegetables to it and started eating.
Li Bai looked at He looked at her with a horrified look and said, "It's time for you to have plastic surgery. ”
The female ghost ignored her and changed while eating, instantly turning into a beautiful woman. Li Bai just wanted to praise the female ghost’s beauty, but the female ghost complained that there was no wine. Li Bai wandered around. After finding half a bottle of Erguotou that had been buried in someone else's grave, the two of them chatted while eating and drinking.
During the chat, Li Bai learned that the woman's name was Ren Meili, the youngest daughter of Bill Gates' second uncle. She was very rich. She had too much money and couldn't spend it all, so she was worried to death.
Li Bai asked her how she was doing in the underworld. The woman said that the son of the King of Hell was attracted to him, but she didn't like him. , she has been pestered by him, and this person is very bad, because he threatens to have sex with her because he does not agree, and often lets some drunkards, perverts, etc. scare her parents.
Li Bai is a very righteous person. He once applied for a job as a superman and wanted to contribute to world peace, but he was not admitted because he was not tall enough. Now he decided to help the woman teach the son of the King of Hell a lesson.
After eating the mutton, Li Bai went. After implementing his plan, he came back a few days later and gave Ren Meili something - rat medicine.
Ren Meili told him that it was useless, ghosts are not afraid of this, and besides, he had wanted to. Using the same method, he steamed a pot of arsenic steamed buns for the son of the King of Hell. Not only was he not poisoned to death, but he became addicted to it and asked her to make it every day.
Li Bai said this was no ordinary rat poison. It was a magic rat poison. I personally went to ask the master to accept him as my godfather. I would definitely be able to conquer this rich second generation.
Ren Meili believed Li Bai's words and went back. He put the rat poison in the arsenic steamed bun and told the King of Hell's son that it was a bean bun. After eating, Ren Meili called Li Bai and Li Bai started. Recite the mantra: "Eat grapes without spitting out grape skins. . . . . . "
Sure enough, it worked. The son of the King of Hell was rolling on the ground in pain, saying that he knew he was wrong and would never dare to harass her again.
Sure enough, he would never dare to molest her again. Harassing Ren Meili.
Ren Meili was grateful to Li Bai and asked her parents to build a villa in the cemetery, and the two lived together.
Next article: New classmates.
Postgraduate entrance examination for fugitives, ancient Xuanwumen, King Qin, Spring and Autumn Period, Sima Xiangru, Zhuo Wenjun, Han Xin classics