NO.1

Crazy car racing

A boss was very happy after drinking, whistling, and driving his beloved Mercedes-Benz 600 on the highway. At this time, he found a farm tractor parked on the side of the road and a man waving his hand. So, he stopped the car. It turned out that the tractor was broken on the road and he wanted to find someone to help tow it away. The boss was in a very happy mood today and agreed. The two people agreed at the same time that if the tractor turns on the right turn signal, please continue driving. If the tractor turns left, stop. Then, the boss drove a Mercedes-Benz 600 and hit the road together with the tractor. (Of course they were driving very slowly) Suddenly, a BMW car passed them from behind at a very fast speed. When the boss saw it, he was very angry and cursed: "No one dares to overtake my Mercedes-Benz 600!" So, He immediately shifted into high gear, stepped on the accelerator, and ran towards the BMW to catch up. (Because he was drunk, he had forgotten that there was a tractor towing behind him.) The boss quickly caught up with the BMW. Just as they were racing at 280 mph, they were spotted by a traffic policeman on the side of the road and wanted to stop them. It was too late. He quickly took out his walkie-talkie and contacted the police on the next section of the road: "Hey, hey, hey, I found two cars racing very fast. One is a BMW and the other is a Mercedes-Benz 600. Please stop them. No, no. There were three cars racing, followed closely by a tractor, and the tractor also had its left turn signal on, trying to overtake..."

NO.2

Passed by Big Ben?

Xiao Wang, I just bought an Alto. I was trying the car on the quiet third ring road in the middle of the night. He was driving happily when a big Ben came up from behind. When he was about to pass, he drove The DaBen guy stretched out his head and shouted to Xiao Wang: "Man, have you ever driven a DaBen?", and then drove away in a hurry. It took Xiao Wang a long time to think about it, what's the big deal about driving a DaBen? Yes, ah, bah. After a while, Xiao Wang forgot about it and drove around happily. Just when he was happy, the Daiben drove up from behind again, as if it was also walking. When overtaking, the guy driving the Daiben shouted to Xiao Wang again: "Man, have you ever driven a Daiben!". Now Xiao Wang was so angry that he sped up and tried to catch up, but he couldn't catch up. There was nothing he could do about it.

Not far away, Xiao Wang was so happy that the Mercedes-Benz hit the guardrail. Haha, Xiao Wang also stopped the car. He wanted to see what the arrogant guy looked like. He came to the car and saw that the guy was okay and not seriously injured. When he saw him coming over, he opened his mouth and said again: "Man , Have you ever driven a Daben?" Xiao Wang almost lost his temper, but what this guy said next made Xiao Wang really lose his temper. He said: "Man, have you ever driven a Mercedes-Benz? Where are the brakes?"

NO.3

Illegal parking

There is a car parked on the roadside BMW is illegally parked. The police came, posted a note, and copied the order. The buddy came out of the mall: "Aren't you a policeman? Why are you so awesome? Don't you know how to post notes and copy orders?" The policeman looked at him, said nothing, and continued to copy orders. If you really want to be awesome, don’t put any stickers on me, just ask a tow truck to tow you away! The policeman glanced at him but didn't say anything yet. "What a bull!" Besides scaring us with stickers, what else can you do? You drag me away, you bastard! "After the police copied the order, they called a tow truck. The tow truck came. The policeman looked at the guy. "Hey, you are really awesome! You are so awesome, drag me away! Lend me your courage! "The policeman waved his hand and dragged him away. The policeman looked at him twice, trying to persuade him not to yell like that in the future. The buddy rolled his eyes and said, "You're awesome. When the car owner comes later, you tell him. His car was towed! ”

NO.4

A farmer’s story about buying a car

A farmer went to a car sales center and saw him take out 2,000 yuan and slap it on the table. : "Bring me a Santana." The salesperson was shocked: "You don't have enough money." The farmer was puzzled: "Isn't it written 'Santana 2000' on the outside? "Salesperson: "Oh... then turn right when you go out, that company's Mercedes-Benz only costs 600! ”

NO.5

Drunks and the police

A policeman parked his police car outside a notorious bar, ready to arrest the drunkards at any time The gangster who was driving behind him suddenly saw a young man staggering out of the bar. After a lot of effort, he found his car and got in, and then started to start the car. The police focused all their attention on the young man and did not notice that people from the bar came out and drove away one after another.

By the time almost all the cars in the parking lot were gone, the young man hadn't started the car yet. The policeman couldn't bear it anymore, so he rushed over and pulled the young man out of the cab and conducted an alcohol test on him. The test result was shocking, the alcohol content was 0.

The police asked the young man to explain all this. The young man said: "Today my responsibility is to attract the police."

NO.6

Public* **On the bus

The bus*** was very crowded, with a thin man and a fat man standing.

The thin man said: "It's not easy to wait for an empty seat." The fat man said: "You are better! Like me, I have to wait for two empty seats.

NO.7

Aunt driving

A 70-year-old aunt drove a car with three aunt-level elderly people in her car and drove slowly on the provincial highway. The traffic police stopped him and said: "Auntie, if you drive so slowly, it will affect traffic. "

The aunt who was driving said: "Don't the sign say 20?"

The traffic police said: "That's Highway 20!"

Driving The aunt said: "Oh! oh! Which highway is that, not the speed limit?"

The traffic policeman said: "That's right, doubt? Why are the other three aunts behind you looking so ugly! "

The aunt who was driving replied: "We just drove over from Highway 245! "

NO.8

Don't be afraid

The wife said to her husband: "Slow down when you are turning." You drive so fast, I'm afraid. "

The husband comforted her triumphantly: "Don't be afraid! You just have to close your eyes like I do when I turn a corner. "

NO.9

Don't like music, prefer cars

Xiao Wang lamented to Xiao Li: "Girls nowadays don't like music but prefer cars." "

Xiao Li was puzzled: "How do you say this? "Xiao Wang said: "I was playing guitar under Ahua's window, but she didn't even open the window. Suddenly a car came, and after pressing the horn twice, she opened the window, stretched out her head to look, and soon she was there again. He ran downstairs. "

NO.10

Fire truck

One afternoon...it was raining heavily...my classmates and I were on Zhonghua Road.

The result was Three or four fire trucks passed by and I heard a conversation between a group of 17- and 18-year-olds. A: How could there be a fire under such heavy rain?

B: Stupid! You don’t understand...

NO.11

Flash train

Lao Wan rushes! He was waiting to take the train. As soon as he entered the station, the train started to move. He ran and shouted to stop, but the train just ignored him and went faster and faster. He was so angry that he stamped his feet and swore: "Okay, let's talk about it tomorrow!" "The next day, he bought the ticket and sat in the waiting room early. He was the first in line to enter the station, but he couldn't get on the train. Seeing the train slowly leaving, he held up the ticket in his hand and looked at it. He took one look at the train and said: "Humph! Yesterday you flashed me lightly. Today I will flash you beautifully. Will you still dare in the future? "

NO.12

Run slower

The new county magistrate sat in the car and asked the driver: "What's on your window glass?" Why is the word 'Rabbit' posted? "When the driver saw it, it turned out to be a sign for exempting road maintenance fees. The county magistrate mistook the big word "exempt" for a rabbit. The driver was embarrassed to say it clearly, so he joked: "That's because I hope the car will run faster. The county magistrate nodded: "Good idea." He turned back to his secretary and said, "I saw that the cars of the Public Security Bureau were running too fast. When I got back, I put turtles on their cars to make them run slower." ”

NO.13

The county magistrate takes a car

The county magistrate was in a hurry to go to the county for a meeting in the morning, but after calling several times, he still didn’t see the driver coming, so he I stopped the car outside the door. Fortunately, there was not a single car in the early morning. Only a tractor came over. The county magistrate was afraid that he would miss the meeting, so he stopped the tractor and let it be taken to the county government. However, the farmer did not know the county magistrate and refused to let him go. Sit down and drive the tractor away.

After a while, the car came over. The county magistrate did not bother to criticize the driver. After telling him what had just happened, he asked him to chase the tractor in front. After stopping him, the driver said to the farmer, why are you so rude to the county magistrate? Farmer He quickly apologized to the county magistrate, and the magistrate waved his hand: "Get on the tractor. I don't believe that a county magistrate like me can't even ride on a tractor!" So, the county magistrate rode the tractor to the county government for a meeting, and the story spread immediately. Traveled all over the county

NO.14

Take a soft seat

Lao Wan went to Beijing to see his son. He bought a hard-seat ticket, but there was no seat on the bus. , after moving around a few carriages, I entered the soft-seat carriage, found a seat, sat down, and started smoking comfortably. After a while, the flight attendant came over and said to him: "There is a fine for smoking in the non-smoking carriage!" Lao Wan had just paid the fine. The flight attendant checked his train ticket and said: "If you travel in a soft-seat carriage with a hard-seat ticket, you will be fined!" Lao Wan paid the fine. Fine left the soft-seat carriage. When he arrived in Taiyuan, he hailed a yellow-faced taxi. When he saw that the seat was a soft seat, he squatted in front of the seat. The driver asked him why he wasn't sitting on the seat while smoking. Lao Wan sneered and said, "You think I don't know. There is a fine for riding on a soft seat if you have a hard seat ticket. I also know that this is a non-smoking carriage. If you want to arouse my smoking habit and then fine me, no way!”

NO.15

I won’t let you suffer a loss

Lao Wan went to meet a fellow villager in Taiyuan. The meter showed 20 yuan. When he touched his pocket, he didn’t bring a wallet. He only had 19 yuan, but the driver He refused to give in and insisted on asking him to pay another dollar. Lao Wan said: "It's not that people in Wanrong don't have money, it's just that I don't have it with me. Otherwise, if you back up the car to the road where you only get one dollar, I will never let you suffer a loss.

NO. 16

More expensive than gas money

Director Bai took the car to Taiyuan for a meeting, and went to the May Day Building with the driver to buy things. The driver wanted to park the car in the parking lot, but he had to park. Ten yuan, so he drove around the May Day Square in front of the building. The traffic police saw the strange thing and stopped him and asked: "Do you need help?" Why do you keep spinning around here? "The driver said: "The parking fee is more expensive than gas money. ”

NO.17

Bus IC card

It happened a few years ago. At that time, card swiping was just implemented. When the bus arrived at the station, a tall woman came up. , her IC card was probably in the back pocket of her jeans, so as soon as she got in the car, she leaned her butt against the card machine, and after a "beep" sound, she got into the car. Behind this woman was an old lady, who was not tall. , she felt strange that she could ride the bus just by leaning her butt against that thing, so as soon as she got on the bus, she tried her best to lift her feet and leaned her butt against the card machine. She tried several times but failed. At this time, the driver said, "Mom, what are you doing? Hurry up and get on the bus." The aunt said, "Can't that girl get on the bus just by leaning her butt here?" I couldn't laugh or cry, so I could only explain to him that the girl used an IC card, but the aunt didn't know what an IC card was, so she still struggled with the driver, "You are too unkind young man. This beautiful girl is sticking her butt out with you. Just let them in. My old lady has stuck my butt with you so many times, but you don't let me in. What do you mean? ", everyone in the car laughed, and the driver couldn't get off the stage because of him, so he could only wave her up to let her in.

NO.18

Wrong hearing

A foreigner held up a 50 yuan ticket and waved it in front of the conductor: Have you seen it before? Have you seen it before? ...

The ticket seller was stupid and just took it out. I showed a 100 card: Have you seen it?

Finally, I figured out that the person wanted to go to "Jianguomen!" "

NO.19

Foresight

Passenger A complained in the waiting room: "The buses at this station never arrive on time." "

Passenger B said: "The car transportation company knew this, so it built this waiting room for everyone to wait well. "

NO.20

A fellow villager in the deep ravine has never seen what a car looks like? So he went to Shiyan City, the automobile city, to see the car. Walking on the road The first thing he saw was the Fukang car speeding by. The fellow was startled: "Be good!" Such a small car kid can run so fast. If he grows up, it will be awesome! ”