Playing Poker"
Screenwriter: Huang Hong, Jiao Naiji
Director: Zhao Keming
Performance: Huang Hong, Hou Yaowen
(Adapted from Liu Jinyun’s micro-novel)
Dialogue #1:
Huang Hong: Huh? King of Spades!
Hou Yuewen: Ace of Hearts! ?
Huang Hong: Old classmate!
Hou Yuewen: Old classmate, old classmate.
Huang Hong: Come on, come on...
Hou Yuewen: It was you who sent the friend search message notice?
Huang Hong: Yes, it’s me!
Hou Yuewen: Oh, it’s still a childhood problem. It’s so lively.
Huang Hong: I am so lively, and you are so happy to join in the fun. So many people were unmoved after hearing this announcement, but here you are. Come on, sit down!
Hou Yuewen: Why are you going?
Huang Hong: Go home! And you?
Hou Yuewen: Go home! What are you doing now?
Huang Hong: Oops, small purchase! (After both parties exchanged business cards) Oh my, you are an old classmate who became a reporter?
Hou Yuewen: Oh, so-so. As soon as I saw you, I remembered when we were children. When we were children, there were 54 classmates in our class, and they were named with 54 playing cards.
Huang Hong: That is a peach!
Hou Yuewen: Later I... Well, later I heard that you were in love with that Caohua Q.
Huang Hong: Can she like me? Let the jack of diamonds tick it off. Any news on the 8 of Spades?
Hou Yuewen: The 8 of spades is doing business. I made sandals in Vietnam and made a fortune! What about the 3 of hearts?
Huang Hong: I’m a soldier. I just got 3 hearts on my shoulder, Colonel!
Hou Yuewen: Huh? Where is the king of our class?
Huang Hong: You said that was the squad leader and deputy squad leader,
Hou Yuewen: Yes, yes, yes!
Huang Hong: I stayed in school to become a teacher, and now I’m teaching my son!
Dialogue #2:
Huang Hong: Hey, let’s do it a few more times to find the feeling from the past?
Hou Yuewen: Okay! Get the poker, get the poker!
Huang Hong: Oh, I didn’t bring it!
Hou Yuewen: How to play?
Huang Hong: Find something to replace it with...
Hou Yuewen: What can we replace it with?
Huang Hong: Hey, use business cards to play!
Hou Yuewen: Is this okay?
Huang Hong: When we were young, there was no poker, didn’t we all play with food stamps? Half a pound is worth two ounces,
Hou Yuewen: One pound is worth half a pound!
Huang Hong: The whole country governs the localities!
Hou Yuewen: Just use it!
Huang Hong: Just use it!
Hou Yuewen: Tell me, how to play?
Huang Hong: I will draw one, you will draw one, turn it over and compare, the big pipe is small and the big pipe is small, if you lose, drink.
Hou Yuewen: It’s the same as military chess!
Huang Hong: Let me go first: team leader!
Hou Yuewen: Section Chief, drink!
Huang Hong: (Take a sip, then come again) Section Chief!
Hou Yuewen: Director, drink!
Huang Hong: (Took another sip) Director! !
Hou Yuewen: Director, drink again!
Huang Hong: I won’t drink anymore!
Hou Yuewen: What’s wrong?
Huang Hong: As a reporter, your contact level must be higher than mine!
Hou Yuewen: It’s not about your level, it’s about your poor level!
Huang Hong: What do you want to say? Do you dare to come and exchange cards between us?
Hou Yuewen: I can still beat you!
Huang Hong: Are you coming over?
Hou Yuewen: Come over here!
(After changing the cards...)
Huang Hong: Oh, this card is so good, you can get whatever you want!
Hou Yuewen: Look at this hand of cards, oh, this is a small section chief.
It doesn't matter! Look at this: six section chiefs! !
Huang Hong: Six directors! ! How happy I am!
Hou Yuewen: Look at this: the team leader, section chief, and division chief are all in a row!
Huang Hong: Section chief, division chief and director are all in one place!
Hou Yuewen: I am so smooth!
Huang Hong: I am a real dragon!
Hou Yuewen: This is the organization group, personnel department, and cadre department. Our administrative relationship is so smooth!
Huang Hong: Production department, sales office, foreign trade bureau, one-stop production and sales, directly entering the international market!
.......
Hou Yuewen: Don't be busy, don't be busy, look at this: bomb, four 2's!
Huang Hong: How can you find four 2s here?
Hou Yuewen: These four are all deputies, the second in command, so they are called four 2s!
Huang Hong: Just wait a moment, wait a moment, if you want to say that, just take care of it! Four kings! !
Hou Yuewen: What four kings?
Huang Hong: Selling beef noodles!
Hou Yuewen: Huh? Beef noodle king?
Huang Hong: It’s all over the street, and it’s the most affordable for us buyers!
Dialogue #3:
Huang Hong: Now you give me the business card and I give it to you. Ten business cards belong to nine managers, and the only one left is the assistant manager. ..... Let me give you a small one first: a deputy manager.
Hou Yuewen: Supervise, manager!
Huang Hong: Your Majesty, General Manager!
Hou Yuewen: Come on, Chairman! !
Huang Hong: Take charge, secretary!
Hou Yuewen: Does your secretary control my chairman?
Huang Hong: Ah, this is the female secretary! To a certain extent, a female secretary can be the chairman of the board!
Hou Yuewen: Okay, okay, old classmate, please see clearly, my chairman is also a woman, she won’t do your thing! Have a drink! !
Huang Hong: Then I’ll find a male secretary!
Hou Yuewen: Oh... no! Dead card landed! Drink, drink!
Huang Hong: Wait a moment! I'll spread it out for you! This title alone is just a lock.
Hou Yuewen: Tell me!
Huang Hong: nominal consultant of China Co., Ltd., nominal manager of China Unlimited Company, nominal director of United Multinational Corporation, nominal director of International Global Corporation...
Hou Yuewen: You Stop reading, stop reading, which unit is he from?
Huang Hong: Please call 6785423, Aunt Liu from the alley.
Hou Yuewen: Use the phone more often? ! What kind of mess is this? ! You are all false and lying, drink!
Dialogue #4:
Huang Hong: Come on, I’ll take care of you!
Hou Yuewen: Famous actor!
Huang Hong: Tabloid reporter!
Hou Yuewen: Xiao...Does this tabloid reporter care about famous actors?
Huang Hong: I am specifically making up sexy news for you. Today I will say you are having an affair, tomorrow I will say you are seeking divorce, and the day after tomorrow I will say you are involved in a third party and you will be notorious in just a few days! drink wine!
Hou Yuewen: I drink, I drink, okay, look at this: movie star!
Huang Hong: TV star!
Hou Yuewen: Oh, no!
Huang Hong: How can I have time to watch movies now? Everyone is watching TV at home! No matter how bad your acting is, make sure you look familiar first!
Hou Yuewen: Don’t worry, don’t worry, it’s easy to say, it’s up to you: cross talk actor! Not only does he look familiar, but he also likes to hear it!
Huang Hong: Come on, sketch actor! Nowadays, cross talk is obviously not good enough for skits!
Hou Yuewen: Don’t worry, don’t worry, it’s up to you: a famous Peking Opera performing artist, first-class actor, monthly bare salary: more than 300 yuan!
Huang Hong: Isn’t it just over three hundred yuan? Popular singer, appearance fee is 30,000!
Hou Yuewen: Oh no, that Peking Opera is the quintessence of the Chinese nation, every move is a real kung fu, you...
Huang Hong: It’s useless, it’s useless ! Haven't you heard people say that ten years of hard work in the audience is not as good as a singer's three minutes and an appearance fee of 30,000!
Hou Yuewen: Don’t worry, if you want to say that, I’ll take care of you! A third-rate singer from Hong Kong and Taiwan, with an appearance fee of 500,000! ! !
Huang Hong: Oh! (Huang Hong fell from his chair) How much?
Hou Yuewen: Five hundred thousand!
Huang Hong: How can we catch up with our factory’s output value in half a year? ! !
Hou Yuewen: This is the price of a charity performance to the outside world!
Huang Hong: Wait a moment, wait a moment! I don't believe I can't control him! Let him take so much money, Commissioner of the Tax Bureau! ! ! No matter how much you earn, you still have to pay taxes according to regulations. Drink!
Dialogue #5:
Hou Yuewen: Come on! Take a look at this picture: Director of a pharmaceutical factory!
Huang Hong: Director of the fake pharmaceutical factory!
Hou Yuewen: Can this fake one control the real thing?
Huang Hong: No matter how good your medicine is, if I use your trademark to produce fake medicine twice, your brand will be ruined immediately!
Hou Yuewen: Since that’s the case, I’ll leave you alone: ??cameraman!
Huang Hong: Can your cameraman control the director of my fake pharmaceutical factory?
Hou Yuewen: Quality travels thousands of miles, giving you thorough exposure so you can get in right away! Have a drink!
Huang Hong: Then I’ll drink. Let me give you something special: a monk.
Hou Yuewen: Easy to say, Japanese monk.
Huang Hong: These are all monks. Why do you care about me, a monk?
Hou Yuewen: Foreign monks can chant sutras!
Huang Hong: This is called strong words and I look at you.
Hou Yuewen: This is called knowledge, old classmate, you didn’t do well in school at that time, and you copied mine every day in the exam!
Huang Hong: You are really heartless. I copied the manna in vain. Didn’t I avenge you when you were beaten? ! This guy is real!
Hou Yuewen: After you avenge me, I still have to take others to see a doctor!
Huang Hong: I’m going to see a doctor.
Hou Yuewen: Two doctors.
Huang Hong: A veterinarian!
Hou Yuewen: Can one veterinarian take care of two doctors?
Huang Hong: Nowadays, animals are more expensive than humans. Our neighbor has a puppy who was wearing red pants a few days ago.
I asked what that meant, and he said this is the year of its birth!
Hou Yuewen: No, no, no, stop talking nonsense. This is my birth year, so don’t talk nonsense!
Huang Hong: Yes! This year is your natal year, and it is also its natal year. Why are you arguing with it? You are several rounds older than it!
(Hou Yaowen jumped up and wanted to beat Huang Hong)
Hou Yuewen: Don’t you talk nonsense again! ! !
Huang Hong: Let me tell you, a CT scan for this dog cost thousands of yuan!
Hou Yuewen: Oh, I am so willing to spend money!
Huang Hong: Of course I’m willing to give it up. I’ll be reimbursed if I write his father-in-law’s name!
Hou Yuewen: Can this be repaid?
Huang Hong: There’s a trick! He put the word "tinea" on the back of the "dog" and said that his father-in-law had "dog tinea" so he reported it!
Dialogue #6:
Hou Yuewen: Get out!
Huang Hong: President of the Municipal Bank!
Hou Yuewen: Oh, dead! Director of the Public Security Bureau!
Huang Hong: It’s not a system. Can you control me?
Hou Yuewen: Let me tell you, this president has been involved in corruption and bribery. Also, this guy just now, if he doesn’t change, he will be under the control of the police chief sooner or later! drink wine!
Huang Hong: This wine makes you happy! ! ! .......athlete!
Hou Yuewen: Big star!
Huang Hong: Coach!
Hou Yuewen: Foreign coach!
Huang Hong: Foreign...you, a foreign coach, are in charge of my Chinese coach?
Hou Yuewen: Foreign coaches are capable!
Huang Hong: Do you have the ability? Wait a minute, it seems like this one will never come out: Coach Ma Jiajun, who was born and raised in China, continues to break world records! ! ! ..... Come on, take charge!
Hou Yuewen: Okay, don’t worry, I’ll take care of you: Foreign journalists, check your doping business.
Huang Hong: Take it away! ! ! Old classmate, I got angry when you mentioned this matter
Hou Yuewen: What’s wrong?
Huang Hong: Doesn’t it matter if a foreigner wins the championship? But when the Chinese win the championship, do they use doping? Tell them that it was not Ma Jiajun who gave stimulants, but Ma Jiajun who gave 1.2 billion Chinese and even Chinese people all over the world a shot of stimulants. We in China will one day be like Ma Jiajun and run at the forefront of the world!
Hou Yuewen: Old classmate, I can write an article now!
Huang Hong: What topic?
Hou Yuewen: The title of the article is: A small handful of cards, a big social stage
Huang Hong: Who knows who is pure and ugly at birth? Hahahaha....