Traditionally, people in western countries have a set of complicated meeting etiquette, from shaking hands, greeting to introducing each other. In contrast, Americans are more casual in interpersonal communication. In the United States, friends usually greet each other with a "hello" without ceremony. Even if two people meet for the first time, they don't necessarily shake hands. Just smile, say hello and call each other by their first names to show affection.
but in formal occasions, people should pay attention to etiquette. Shaking hands is the most common greeting. In America, when shaking hands, the woman reaches out first between men and women. A man should not hold a woman's hand too tightly. If the other person has no intention of shaking hands, the man can only nod and bow. Between the young and the old, the older reaches out first; Between the superior and the subordinate, the superior reaches out first; Between the host and the guest, the host reaches out first.
when shaking hands, you should look at each other and pinch off your gloves. If you can't take off your gloves for some reason, you must explain the reason and apologize to the other party. It should also be noted that people should not cross hands for a long time, and women should not shake hands when they meet each other. Like the order of shaking hands, when introducing two people, you should first introduce the man to the woman, the young to the old, and the low-ranking to the high-ranking one.
(2) addressing people by their surnames
Most Americans don't like to address them as Mr., Mrs. or Ms., because they think they are too serious. American men, women and children like to be called by their first names and regard it as a sign of kindness and friendliness.
When people meet for the first time, they often introduce each other with their first name and last name, for example, "My name is Mary Smith." At this time, the other party can call her "Mary" or "Miss Smith" at will. It is common that people may call each other by their surnames at the beginning of a conversation, and then change their names after a while.
Sometimes you just met an American and don't know how to address him. You can just call him Mr. or Ms. At this time, the other party will quickly understand your psychology. Tell him enthusiastically, "My name is james wilson. Call me James." Or "Don't call me Mrs. Smith, just call me Sally".
It's true that Americans, regardless of their positions and ages, always try to call each other's names to shorten the distance between them. A publication in the United States once conducted a survey on address in 15 industrial and commercial industries, and found that 85% of them only called their names.
Americans seldom use formal titles to address others. Formal titles are generally only used for judges, senior government officials, military officers, doctors, professors and senior religious people. For example: Judge Harry, Senator Smith, General Clark, Dr. Brown, Professor Green, Bishop White, etc. It is worth noting that Americans never use administrative titles such as director, manager and principal to address others.
(3) Talking with people about Mo Wen's private affairs
In American society, all people's actions are individual-centered, and personal interests are sacred and inviolable. This principle permeates all aspects of social life. People talk everyday and don't like to involve personal affairs. Some questions are even taboo for them, such as asking about age, marital status, income, religious belief, who to vote for in the election, etc. It is very presumptuous and rude.
when America sees something bought by others, it never asks how much it costs. See others go out or come back. Or ask, "Where are you from?" Or "Where to?" As for the number of people, it is even more difficult to ask casually. Anyone who wants to ask questions in these areas will be disgusted. Americans often use the phrase "nose sticking out into people's private lives" to express their contempt for asking questions.
It is worth mentioning that Americans have very different views on age from us. In our country, the elderly are respected, but in the United States, it is "old pearls are worthless." Therefore, in the United States, the elderly never like being complimented on their age. Once, students from China held a grand gathering in a city in the midwest of the United States, and the guests were like a cloud. The president of a famous local university and his mother also attended the event. The foreign students said in their welcome speech: "The presence of the old lady made all our classmates feel honored." The word "Lao" is an honorific title in China, but it touched the old lady. At that time, her face suddenly changed and she was embarrassed, and she never appeared at the party of foreign students in China again.
Americans also pay great attention to "personal space". When talking to Americans, don't stand too close. Generally, it is advisable to keep it 5 cm away. At ordinary times, you should try to keep a certain distance from others whether you go to a restaurant or a library. When you have to sit at the same table or next to others, you'd better say hello and ask, "May I sit here?" Don't sit down until you get permission.
(4) Social occasions give priority to women
What is the status of American women in social and political life? Let's leave it here. But in social situations, they always get special treatment. Respect for women is a traditional custom in European and American countries, which is influenced by the chivalry of medieval Europe from a historical perspective. From a religious point of view, it is out of respect for the virgin Mary.
According to American custom, in social occasions, men should be humble and love women everywhere. When walking, men should walk on the side near the road; When seated, the woman should be asked to sit down first; Get on and off the elevator, let the woman walk in front; When entering the door, the man should open the door and invite the woman in first. But when getting off and going downstairs, men should walk in front to take care of women; When entering restaurants and theaters, men can walk in front and find good seats for women; When eating, please ask the woman to order first; When greeting women, men should stand up, while women don't have to stand up, just sit and nod; When men and women shake hands, men must take off their gloves, while women don't have to. When a woman's things fall to the ground, men should help her pick them up whether they know her or not.
In short, when American men contact women in social intercourse, on the one hand, they should respect them in everything, on the other hand, they should appear everywhere as protectors to show their status.
(5) The more polite words, the better
Many people who have been to the United States have the impression that Americans have a sweet mouth, and they are never stingy with nice words, which often makes listeners feel comfortable. Indeed, in the United States, "please", "thank you" and "sorry" can be heard everywhere.
In the United States, everyone will say "thank you" when they get help from others, even the president is no exception. In shopping malls, salespeople are always smiling. When customers come in, they will take the initiative to meet them and ask, "Can I help you?" When customers pay, they will smile and thank them. Finally, I will send you away with a thank you. Similarly, customers will thank you repeatedly when they receive the goods.
Americans always keep polite words in family, not only between husband and wife, but also often say "please" and "thank you" to children, so that children naturally form the good habit of being polite.
Americans are also used to saying "sorry" to others. When people have a little friction, saying "I'm sorry" often makes the bad feelings disappear. Even if we encounter some trivial things, such as asking for directions, walking past other people's seats in the theater, and so on, Americans will repeatedly apologize. Americans regard burping in public places or sneezing or coughing while talking with others as indecent. In this case, they will say "I'm sorry" and ask the other person to forgive them.