Admiration says: Hunger suits you, hunger loses you and hunger worships you.
Encourage: I am optimistic about you.
When you see something amazing, say: hungry God.
If you want to hit someone, say: avalanche.
When "threatening", he said: I'll scratch you.
If someone moves, you can't move.
Interrupted: How beautiful the sun is tonight.
If you don't agree with anyone, just say: the tiger doesn't show off, you treat me like hello kitty.
When dealing with gf, I said: the acting is so bad that there are no tears.
Colleagues compliment themselves and say: just so-so, xx is the third.
When a friend praised gf for its beauty, he said: It's too ugly, too ugly, and Sister Ya is the ninth.
Before you want to fight hard, say: take care of my seventh uncle.
Before dancing and singing, say: Samida music.
If you want the annoying person to leave, just say: Ghosn.
If you offend your wife, you say, "Your adults don't remember villains, but the prime minister can punt in his stomach.". On a frosty night, both husband and wife go home. " .
Be reasonable to others and say: Confucius once said.
Make fun of female colleagues and say, please, go to Korea to introduce yourself.
While helping others, he mysteriously said: I have someone above me.
When you want to swear, think like this: the world is so beautiful, but I am so grumpy, which is not good, not good.
When I work overtime, I think like this: No matter how tired and bitter I am, I will consider myself a 250; No matter how hard it is to take a risk, just think of yourself as a two-faced person.
Brothers misunderstand, and girlfriends should think like this when they are angry: brothers are like centipedes' hands and feet, and women are like winter clothes.
Takeaway at noon is not to my taste. Say: If God gives me another chance, I will definitely say three words to you ... less salt! ! !
If you are the boss, ask the staff of Wulin Legend:
"What's your goal?"
"Be an incomparable woman."
"Why do you mention so far? Speak closer. "
"Raise your salary."
"This is farther than the previous one."
The classic lines of Legend of Wulin can cheer you up when you are in a bad mood:
"People floating in the river's lake, who can not get a knife? White camel mountain strong bone powder, oral and external use, has a miraculous effect. I got a knife and drew a pack, but I want to get a second knife. I bent over and ate a bag, and I won't be old until I'm 200. White camel mountain strong bone powder, youth powder, friendship powder, Huashan Lunjian designated nutrition, and all major pharmacies in the town have sales in Yiguang. Please look for the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark when buying, gung, gung ... "
Go back to your home and find your mother!
"When I reached the top of the mountain, I found that the wrong road and the right road were only a few steps away."
"Catching thieves is sometimes as simple as that."
Lv Xiucai: I stabbed you with a sword, and you only said four words. I stabbed you with two swords and you said 36,000 words. Why?
Guo Furong: …
Lv Xiucai: When I stabbed you with the first sword, you said "hero, forgive me", and when I stabbed you with the second sword, you said "36,000 words"!
"Being a man with his tail between his legs is called chivalry."
"Where is your sword?"
"The sword is in my heart. What about you? Why not bring a knife? "
"There is no knife in your hand, but a knife in your heart."
Zoom in, close-up, two people pulling each other's hair, slapping and biting,
At the same time, they shouted to each other: "Let go, let go! You put it first! You put it first! "
"Beauty is not discounted"
My sister's name is Mei, and my sister's name is Fold.
Listen, people inside, hand over stinky tofu and release the hostages! ! !
Thief: Is there a thief like you? Stealing and cleaning other people's houses
Stealing Saint (White): Can it be done without cleaning? I have to follow the footprints.
Thief: You have something. You will return them to others in a few days.
Theft of Saint: Can I not send it back? You are not in a hurry to lose things!
"Do you think I love money so much?"
"You are!"
"I'm ashamed"
"It's good to know shame."
"Shame and joy"
The proprietress was puzzled by Li Dazui's hunger strike: "You always eat when you are not hungry, but now you are not hungry if you don't eat for two days?"
Mo Xiaobei: To hell with her!
Boss: Do you want to die? ! Wait till you finish learning!
If God gives me another chance, I will definitely say three words to you: ... less salt! ! !
Yesterday's Xiaomi was also very funny.
Xiaomi: What's this?
Passerby: A penny.
Xiaomi: Do you know what day it is today?
Passerby: ...
Xiaomi: Today is the fifteenth day, and the fifteenth day of the first day is a beggar's rest day. Here you are.
The next day, Xiaomi met passers-by again.
Xiaomi: Give me my money back.
Passerby: Don't you want it?
Xiaomi: Yesterday was fifteen, today is sixteen. I go to work.
Guo Furong: Don't worry! This is all my fault!
Li Dazui: Grab my lines.
Bai Zhantang: What's the matter? It's not funny.
Li Dazui: Then I, sunflower acupuncturist! You are happy! ?
Bai Zhantang: What? Zi once said ...
Lv Xiucai: I was wrong. I was really wrong. At the beginning. If I don't marry my husband, I won't die. If my husband doesn't die, I won't die here. ...
They looked at each other.
Bai Zhantang: What the hell is that?
Manager Tong (self-care): No, it was wrong from the beginning. If you don't marry me, my husband won't die, and my husband won't end up. ...
Everyone: How do you know what he said?
Boss Tong: The positive sentence is the most classic and overwhelming! ! ! ! !
Everyone wriggled: sister-in-law ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~! ! ! ! ! !
Boss Tong: OK, OK, that's it.
2. Bai Zhantang: There are many ways to die. Going out to the west, there is a Xiliang River.
Tourist: I can swim, especially snorkeling.
Bai Zhantang: Then find a cliff and jump.
Tourist: I jumped off a building and was blown back by the current.
Bai Zhantang: Then find a bottle of poison.
Tourist: I have drunk pesticides, fake and shoddy, and have diarrhea for half a month.
Bai Zhantang: Then find a rope ... something strong.
Tourist: Yes, the house collapsed in the middle of the earthquake. My neck is fine. My leg is broken. It hurts when it rains now. (Then Bai Zhantang fainted. . . )
3. Sanskrit, the first word: what to save you, the second word: my love (buy a chisel)
Shh! Shh! Shh! Low-key, low-key and low-key!
5. Affirmation and affirmation; Avalanches ~ ~ ~; Denial and Negation (Guo Furong)
6. Zi Zeng said; Mo (scholar)
7. Hand over rotten eggs and release hostages ...
8. Have you ever been to World Spring? I've heard people say time. Have a clear view in the first one. In that Taoist temple, there is a Taoist priest. What they like is the song Hu played in the first "Moonlit Night on the Spring River" called "Moonlit Night on the Spring River". (Scholar collects debts)
9. Don't steam steamed buns for breath!
10. Female thief: Let go!
Bai Zhantang: You let go!
Female thief: Let us go, Miss!
Bai Zhantang: Let go of our boss's wife!
Female thief: Let go of our beautiful Guo Furong!
Bai Zhantang: Let go of Tong Xiangyu, there are many customs in our family!
1 1. Lu: I stabbed you, and you said four words. I stabbed you with two swords and you said 36,000 words. Why?
Guo: ...
Lu: My first sword stabbed you, and you said, "Hero, forgive me". I stabbed you with my second sword and you said "36,000 words"! ~ (lotus scholar PK)
12.- I eat more salt than you.
-That's your mouth.
-I've crossed more bridges than you.
-That's what I don't want to move.
13. "People are floating in rivers and lakes, who can avoid being stabbed? White camel mountain strong bone powder, oral and external use, has a miraculous effect. I got a knife and drew a pack, but I want to get a second knife. I bent over and ate a bag, and I won't be old until I'm 200. White camel mountain strong bone powder, youth powder, friendship powder, Huashan Lunjian designated nutrition, and all major pharmacies in the town have sales in Yiguang. Please look for the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark when buying, gung, gung ... "
14. This man died of poverty, digging, acid and raising. Do you think I won't make people laugh if I let the ugly die?
15. Waste my friendship, friendship, and your friendship! ! ! (Lotus Echo Classic! )
16. If God can give me one last chance, I will say three words to Li Dazui, ............., "Put less salt! ! ! "(Xiaomi)
17. Guo Furong: Where is the terminal of the criminals? It's the bully (dad) in Qixia town! !
Li Dazui: Who is the mother of Qixia Town?
18. Scholar: The thief took it without asking.
19. Are you hungry? Whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, if you are hungry, you can tell me that I will make you noodle soup in ten years ... (Du Shiniang sings, the hall bleeds).
20. The shopkeeper boy received two pieces of silver from Du Shiniang 100, which was despised by all.
Man: "I'll give you a hundred taels of silver!" " "
The shopkeeper said, "I am confused when I look at this thick silver. Are you greedy? ~ ~"
Everyone: "Great! ! ! "
Child shopkeeper: "..."
Everyone: "You said you were ashamed ~ ~"
Boss Tong: "Shame!" ........................................................................................................................................................................
2 1. Guo Furong: I'm as blind as a bat, but my mouth is careless!
Next is a series of actions of gouging out eyes and hearts, throwing them on the ground and crushing them with their feet. It's so interesting ...)
22. Master's Body, Runner's Life (Exhibition Hall)
23. Bai said to Li Dazui, "You are really a big loser."
Silly mouth said: "this dou is also a character, by the way, where did this dou come from?"
Bai sarcastically said, "It's really a hundred and nine generals in the water margin."
Li Dazui said, "No, it seems that there are only 108 generals. You said that I have no education, but I still believe in the Three Kingdoms. "
What really makes you right in "Bai Yi Strikes the Table" is the son of Liu Bei in the Three Kingdoms. "
Mouth said, "you scold me again. One is Liu and the other is Ah. Can this be a father and son?
Then I only saw blood in my mouth. )
24. Guo Furong said to Lv Xiucai: I want to be savage as soon as I see you. . .
All 25 are dead? All dead? When did you die? How did you die? Where is the crime scene? Do you have any witnesses, physical evidence or temporary residence permits? (Punishment of scratching the head)
26. The proprietress said to the scholar, "You just live well. If you have nothing to do, just stay there, spend less effort and eat less."
27.- "There is someone above me" and "I wonder, who is above me?"
28. Big mouth asked the money shopkeeper: "Is it particularly scary to put money under your feet?"
The shopkeeper replied, "You'll know when you get married. So men have corns. " (Laughter)
29. Child shopkeeper: "Stop talking, the palm window is not good."
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Tongfu Inn to participate in the first Chicken King Competition.
Guo: The vast sky has nurtured our history and civilization.
Bai: Time flies, which makes us hardworking and kind.
Guo: Under this clear sky, we are singing.
Bai: In this vast land, we soar freely! (Chicken King strives for hegemony)
3 1. Xiaoliu: It can be described in four words.
Everyone: That's outrageous.
Small six: four more.
Everyone: It's terrible.
32. The trap of Lotus and Jiaozi: There are still a few shiny hairs on the pigskin. There is still some spring mud on the cabbage bangzi, and the shrimp is still shelling.
The funniest thing is that jiaozi was glued on with paste and then sewn on with thread.
Cabinet: Why not use fishing line? What jiaozi? It's just bait.
It's even funnier when people eat jiaozi. Lotus also said: Don't forget to spin silk!
33. Primary six: a fruit ... a rising star of six-door learning. ...
X: It's six doors.
34. The shopkeeper shouted at Lao Xing: Xing Yusen!
Lao Xing gave her a bad look back.
The shopkeeper immediately grinned: good name ~
35. The exhibition hall plays an episode in which robbers build confidence for Lao Xing. The exhibition hall is robbing Xiaomi's broken bowl and Lao Xing sees it.
Xing: Why did you rob his bowl?
Bai: What else does he have besides this bowl?
Xing: Then why did you rob him?
Bai: It's so late. There is no one in the street except him.
Xing: Am I not human?
36. Beckham: Guo Furong, hibiscus emerging from the water, proud. . . . Beckham added: It is safe to be buried.
37. "How did Mo Zhangmen die?" "I heard that I took those people's money to build a house ..." "Corruption? ! "
38. I won't tell you if I die!
39 Lao Xing's self-hypnosis:
This is not clear noodle soup ... this is not clear noodle soup ... this is not clear noodle soup ...
This is eel noodles … this is eel noodles … this is eel noodles …
This is not kimchi, this is not kimchi, this is not kimchi. ...
This is a fat sausage, this is a fat sausage, this is a fat sausage. ...
40. Bai: OK, learn to embroider penguins again! -Tong: That's Yuanyang! !
4 1. Oh, my God ~ Are these all gods? Spicy fish scales, rock sugar fat sausage, fermented radish skin, braised boat-fruited Sterculia crisp fried cucumber, steamed yellow croaker, charcoal roasted female pig's trotters? (
Li Dazui's new dish name)
42. What a charming chicken leg ~ (exhibition hall)
43. A hot face sticks to a cold buttock! (hibiscus)
Lu: Nothing, I just have a little more connotation than you.
Guo: Why didn't you say you were a little braver than me?
45.( 1) Part I: Resisting domestic violence
Part II: Calling for social love.
Cross-dressing: Don't talk to strangers.