1. A man was about to starve to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp.

Magic Lamp: "I can only grant you one wish, tell me quickly, I'm in a hurry."

Man: "I want a wife..."

The magic lamp immediately turned out to be a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "You are almost starving to death and you are still greedy for beauty! How sad!" After that, she disappeared.

Person: "...cake."

2. The earthworm family was very bored today, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton.

The earthworm mother thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong.

The earthworm father thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!"

The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football. "

3. The panda man wants to rape the panda girl, but the panda girl resists vigorously and refuses to obey.

After the failure, the panda man said angrily: "We are all going extinct!"

4. One day the animals smelled something in front of Guan Gong Temple Very bad smell.

The snake said: "I am too young to fart such a smelly thing. It must be a cow."

The cow said: "I am a grass-eater and I will not fart such a smelly thing." "

The pig said: "Those who fart will definitely blush." ??

Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig away and said, "How many times have I told you, I am blushing. Innate.

”

5. A man met God one day...

God suddenly became kind and planned to give that person a wish...

God asked...

Do you have any wish...

The man thought about it...

I heard that cats are There are 9 lives...

Then please give me 9 lives...

God said...

Your wish will come true. ...

One day, that person was bored...

I wanted to just die...

He has 9 lives anyway.

Just lying on the railroad tracks...

As a result, a train drove past...

The man was still dead...

p>

Why is this?

Because there were 10 carriages in that train...

6. One day, three people were sent to the funeral home. Strangely enough, they died. The smile after death was all ^_^...

The funeral home manager asked pol.ice very puzzled: Why do their faces after death look like ^_^?

pol.ice said: This... it's a long story... Look at the person on the left... He was spending the night with his wife in ***... in the most passionate place. For a moment... I couldn't bear it any more... and I died.

The administrator replied: Alas... I would like to die under the flowers... I would be charming even if I were a ghost... So how did the one in the middle die? < /p>

While he was laughing happily... he was hit by an oncoming car... As a result... he died...

The administrator replied: Alas ...He really is not blessed to enjoy this glorious and wealthy life for the rest of his life...What about the remaining one?

pol.ice: ...This one’s death is a bit pitiful... He was struck to death by lightning while climbing a tree

The administrator replied: ... This is a bit wrong, why are you still smiling after being struck by lightning...

pol.ice said: Because after he climbed up the tree, he thought... there was a sudden flash of lightning... ...

He thought... someone took a picture of him...

7. Thousands of years ago, whether it was a male dog or a It's a female dog. They squat when they urinate.

It was not until the Tang Dynasty that things changed...

Everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty! His old man had a pair of Pekingese dogs. Once, Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty went to Mount Huashan to offer sacrifices to heaven and took this pair with him...

In the middle of the sacrifice, the female dog suddenly became anxious and ran behind a tree. Solve,

This is a very disrespectful behavior when offering sacrifices to the sky, so it angered the Jade Emperor,

The Jade Emperor ordered Thunder God to hit a thunder, which happened to hit the tree, and the tree fell down. , crushed the female dog to death, and the male dog was very scared after seeing it...

From then on, every time the male dog urinates under the tree, he will stretch out one foot and push against the tree,

To prevent the tree from falling down on you...

8. Can you give me two 1-inch photos of yours? (Be sure to take a very clear photo) as a permanent souvenir. I'm going to put it on my socks so people can tell they're Crocodile.

9. I told you because she told me not to tell you. Now I tell you, don’t tell her. I told you. If she asks you, have I told you about you? Say I didn't tell you she said you were a pig and I'm done.

10. Bajie went to South Korea to undergo plastic surgery and become a handsome man. He went to the dance hall to look for a beautiful woman. After getting passionate, Bajie asked the beautiful woman: Do you know how ugly I was before? I am Zhu Bajie. The beauty was shocked: Second senior brother, I am Lao Sha!

11. When a farmer picked up manure, a man saw it and asked: Uncle, how much does this sauce cost per pound? The farmer didn't say anything, and the woman dipped some of it in her hand and put it in her mouth, thinking: If you don't tell me how much it costs per pound, I won't tell you that your sauce stinks!