Text | Li Wanwan

Let’s watch a video first—of course, I can’t post a video here, so I’ll tell you something through a combination of text and pictures.

This incident comes from Dragon TV's "Patrol Scene Record". It tells the story of the police receiving a call from a woman who said she had been subjected to domestic violence.

When the police arrived at the scene, they found the woman running out barefoot and told the situation in front of the police. The woman said that her husband took a drink and drank it in front of the child. As soon as he drank, the child also drank (but he could not give carbonated drinks to the child). She told him not to drink in front of the child, so the husband wanted to get up and beat him. she.

Can a bottle of drink cause such a big family commotion? The policeman was confused and followed her back home.

After arriving home, her husband said: She hit me first tonight.

As soon as he said this, the woman raised her voice—Did I touch you? You are talking nonsense! I won't let it go with you! I didn't even touch you, and you actually said I hit you! Now in front of your mother, do you ask her if I hit you? ! I swear to God, if I touch you, I will be hit by a car! To be a good person, you need to have face!

Then the quarrel continued, and the woman's temper suddenly became uncontrollable, and she exploded like thunder and fire. The police were quite helpless and spent a lot of effort to quell the situation - note, it was to quell the situation, not to resolve it.

Because such a contradiction seems to be essentially irresolvable. You solve it this time, but you don't know when they will quarrel, make a fuss, or fight next time. .

I won’t go into details about the specific content of the matter. It’s good for everyone to know that this is the case. The point is, in the comments of netizens, many netizens pointed the finger at this woman with a strong temper and felt that she went too far. But I don't agree - because a woman has a bad temper and is prone to attacks, there must be a reason.

Take this matter as an example. When a man was accused by his wife like a tsunami, he felt that he was wronged, but his wife said - you are wronged? Where are you wronged? You are so arrogant at home and you play games all day long. What's going on with you?

This man had a very good attitude in front of the police and looked very innocent, but his wife's words "You are so arrogant at home and playing games all day long" completely exposed him - the police were not here At that time, his true appearance should be completely opposite.

Many men are like this in life. In public, he seems to be very polite and reasonable, but when no one can see him, he may not be like this.

I really feel sorry for this woman. Although my first reaction was that she was too fierce and even looked a bit ferocious, the reason behind her fierceness is sad and sympathetic.

However, she is far from the only woman driven crazy by men and crushed by marriage. Behind her outburst, only she knew how many tears she secretly shed.

Regarding this matter, I want to discuss a question - if your wife has a bad temper, what should you do as a man?

First of all, there are two types of hot tempers. One is that she has a hot temper to begin with; the other is that she was quite gentle before, but she gradually became hotter after marrying you.

Let’s take a look at the reasons for the formation of a hot temper - the kind of person who has a hot temper to begin with. What is the reason?

Generally speaking, if a person has a bad temper, it does not necessarily mean that he is very irritable. It may be that his mood is always erratic, or he always makes negative assumptions and cannot make jokes. You may just say something casually. Just one word will ignite her, and she will either get angry and throw a tantrum, or she will be cold and violent, ignore you, and refuse to communicate. All of the above are considered bad tempers.

Her bad temper is related to her family of origin and the environment in which she grew up.

One of them is that she was overly pampered at home, especially as an only child. The whole family regarded her as a treasure, holding her in their hands for fear of falling and holding her in their mouths for fear of melting. She is spoiled and has a relatively smooth road in life. She has not been exposed to much wind and rain in the past 20 to 30 years. She cannot stand grievances. She is relatively self-centered and feels that others must listen to her in everything. Once others do not meet her expectations, she will She is about to have an attack - the correct way to deal with this kind of wife is:

First of all, when she has an attack, do not confront her head-on, but accept her. However, don't cater to her blindly. This will only make her more and more complacent and make her feel more and more that it is you who should do it. Blindly catering will eventually destroy you, her, and your relationship.

You have to properly express your difficulty, express your demands, and let her know that everything she has gained is not something she should take for granted. Of course, these statements and practices should not be used during a quarrel.

The other is that her original family atmosphere was not good. Her parents were often noisy, very strict, and interfered with her severely. They even often slandered, beat and scolded her, etc., which made her She has always had low self-esteem, resisted interpersonal relationships, was afraid of others hurting her, and had a strong sense of self-protection. In addition, some people's tempers come from the fact that they were severely hurt when they were growing up. For example, when they were studying, they were misunderstood and bullied by their teachers and classmates, etc., which can also lead to their tempers.

In one sentence, this is similar to a girl with a bad temper. The main reason is that she did not receive enough protection, praise, warmth and love when she was growing up.

As a husband, what you have to do is to warm her, love her, and slowly influence her - she has a very bad temper, often has confrontational behavior, and gets into trouble at every turn. Don't care too much about scolding or getting angry at every turn. In fact, she is also feeling very uncomfortable and wronged - you must have an awareness in your heart: I feel wronged and uncomfortable right now, but my wife is even more uncomfortable and pitiful than me. .

Just being patient is not enough. You have to love her and understand her sincerely. The key to understanding her is to understand her past. If you know the reason for her bad temper, in fact, many times in life, you will feel that her temper is excusable.

Apart from these two tempers, which are inherently bad, the rest is that the temper becomes bad later, and it becomes bad after being with you - I won’t go into details about that. Okay, please take the blame.

After writing this, some men may still have questions - I am already very good to her, so why does she still lose her temper and even want to divorce me?

Many people misunderstand love. "Being good to her" is part of love, but it is not all of love. For example, you are nice to her, but you are idle every day. You only play games every day and don't make money. No matter how nice you are to her, she will always lose her temper or even leave you. Men mature later and will not consider issues such as survival, development and offspring until they are much older, but women have thought about these issues very early.

Therefore, to love your wife, you must first love yourself. To love yourself is to build yourself up and build yourself into a person who has a successful career or a promising career, a peaceful mind, and a stable mood. This is an important support for loving others; secondly, loving your wife is not just about treating her the way you do. Well, you have to understand her and do things that make her feel warm and loving.

Having said that, you may think that love is so difficult, marriage is so difficult, how can I have time to hug you when I hold bricks in my hands? This is the fact - marriage is a life. The most important practice, many times, is not easy.

In this practice, the most important task is to understand love, to feel love, and to give love.

Why is love so important?

For example: If you are very poor and your credit card is about to expire, and you have borrowed money from all your friends but no one is willing to lend it to you, then someone lends you a sum of money - - You may be moved to tears, you feel kindness and love, and you will think - if you become prosperous in the future, you will definitely repay him well. Basically everyone thinks this way.

So, do the same to your wife - when she needs you especially, you must be there! When she gets angry, you must embrace her emotions and give her warmth and love - just like you would be grateful to the person who lent you money, your wife will be grateful to you and love you even more. Just like you feel that the person who lent you money did not give up on you when you were in trouble, your wife will also know that you did not give up on her when she was sad and couldn't control herself - she will be grateful to you.

So, in the final analysis, there is only one way to deal with a bad-tempered wife - not tolerance, but love.

As for what love is and how to love, this is what we all need to understand and learn in our long life, but the starting point must be love. Because apart from loving her well, there is currently no other way in the world that can change a grumpy person.