1. You don’t have to study every minute, but you should gain something every minute while studying.

2. How can you lose weight if you don’t eat enough?

3. You are not afraid of not passing the exam, but you are afraid of not taking the exam.

4. Don’t say regret, don’t say give up because of disappointment, don’t shed tears for heartache.

5. Don’t ask about harvest, but ask about hard work! God rewards those who work hard.

6. Don’t feel inferior. You are not stupider than others. Don't be complacent, others are not stupider than you.

7. Surpass yourself, challenge yourself, challenge your weaknesses, challenge your laziness, and challenge your bad habits.

8. A successful mother is failure, a successful father is sweat.

9. From now on, every hour wasted will reduce the success rate of the postgraduate entrance examination by 0.1; every day wasted, the success rate of the postgraduate entrance examination will be reduced by 1; every week wasted, the success rate of the postgraduate entrance examination will be reduced by 10. (I came up with this sentence when I was 100 days away from the postgraduate entrance examination. Although there are still more than 50 days left, the connotation of this sentence still exists. I hope everyone can "understand the spirit")

10. But there are still so many people who reach the end for their faith.

11. Be indifferent to utilitarianism and move forward lightly; be perseverant regardless of effort; never give up until the goal is achieved.

12. When life viciously turned everything into black humor, I turned myself into a highly educated gangster.

13. Adjust the excitement period and learn to rise in waves.

14. The road is long and long, and I will go up and down to ask for help.

15. We are looking for little girls, and *** will come with us to fill the water; I will fill the head of the Yangtze River, and you will fill the tail of the Yangtze River.

16. My wife is my wife and my wife is my wife.

17. Others are pretending to be serious, so I can only pretend to be unserious.

18. Love at first sight will fade away again and again, and will be exhausted after three.

19. I am your kite, the string is in your hand, but the only thing that accompanies me is the wind.

20. You are not lonely when you are alone. You are lonely when you want to be alone.

21. I drank to drown the pain, but this damn pain learned to swim.

22. I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I was already scrapped.

23. Born, easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

24. For us 18-year-olds, some things will indeed affect our lives, but no one thing can determine our lives!

25. If you can secure the "first 120 points" of the college entrance examination paper, you will definitely not miss the "last 30 points".

26. The college entrance examination paper is a ruler with uneven scales: for you, the score of the difficult problem is not necessarily high.

27. The college entrance examination is a comprehensive examination that compares knowledge, ability, psychology, confidence and physical strength.

28. The college entrance examination is the sea, and we, as young people, have also been afraid of it and tested it. However, when we understand that the growth of life is a leap from one shore to the other, we can contact it, embrace it and transcend it. Looking back at the bleak place, every sunrise and every ripple are beautiful and moving; every wind and wave and every dark cloud are worthy of gratitude.

29. The college entrance examination is an exercise in which millions of people participate.

30. The college entrance examination is a labor-saving lever to achieve life. This is the best time for you to leverage it, and your life will rise in an arc in the future.

31. The college entrance examination is really a harvest, it contains too many connotations. No matter what your college entrance examination results are, your growth and maturity are facts that no one can change. You have gained so much through these three years of hard work.

32. When a mouse laughs at a cat, there must be a hole next to it.

33. All men in the world are liars. Both beautiful and not beautiful women will be deceived. The difference is that the lucky woman found a big liar who deceived her for the rest of her life. The unfortunate woman found a little liar who deceived her for a while.

34. The conclusion is where you are too lazy to think about it.

35. The only thing in this world worse than what others say is that no one talks about you.

36. A bomb about to explode is much scarier than an exploded bomb.

37. Dreams are for chasing, not for fantasizing. Life should be like an electrocardiogram, with ups and downs. An ordinary life is like a dying electrocardiogram, stretched into a straight line without vitality.

38. Chinese-style sorrow: unable to afford a house in life, unable to afford a tomb in death, unable to afford a hospital even if half-dead.

39. When I have money, I will buy a bus, use the dedicated bus lane, and park at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say: Sorry, this It's a private car.

40. It is not necessarily a good thing for all people to stand on one side, for example, they all stand on one side of a boat.

41. Many people climb to the top of the ladder, only to find that the ladder is set against the wrong wall.

42. Nine times out of ten, the outcome of the argument is that both parties are more convinced than before that they are absolutely right.

43. Accidental success is more terrifying than failure.

44. Currently, there are roughly four ways for women in my country to succeed: First, learn English well and marry a foreigner. Second, learn English well, study abroad, and marry a foreigner. Third, learn English well, study abroad, return home after completing your studies, and marry a foreigner. Fourth, learn English well, study abroad, return home after studying, work hard, and marry a foreigner.

45. When you see a cyclist pedaling hard in the cold wind on the bus, you can’t help but feel happy. When the cyclist sees you squeezed into a sardine can on the bus, you can’t help but smile. . It turns out that shortcomings are discovered from others.

46. Can withstand temptation and loneliness!

47. A woman kissing a man is a blessing, and a man kissing a woman is a blessing.

48. I want to find someone who is healthy and ordinary, who can scramble tomatoes and eggs, who can operate a washing machine, who may have some freckles on his face, who will blush when meeting strangers, and who knows how much soy sauce costs. A girl who wipes my sweat when I carry rice home.

49. When you gossip, I use it to study. When you talk nonsense, I use it to think. Therefore, I cannot be the same type of person as you. So we don't have to and can't be friends. Humorous classic sentences

1. A woman’s wrinkles are called old age, and a man’s wrinkles are called vicissitudes of life.

2. After living for more than 20 years, I have been unable to do anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about this, I feel heartbroken.

3. He has a big head, a thick neck, and moves like a pig!

4. Living is to make leaps and bounds.

5. What is your lung capacity? How can you boast so much?

6. Confucius said: When three people are walking together, there must be my wife. Choose the pretty one and marry her.

7. In fact, I have never left the rivers and lakes. I have only been diving under the rivers and lakes for a long time.

8. The beefy appearance hides a sexy heart...

9. In the season when black stockings are rampant, how can those of us with thick legs be embarrassed?

10. You dress dangerously, but you look safe.

11. It’s good to know what you are.

12. Romance is always priceless, otherwise I would have been worth millions long ago...

13. You are a very kind person, especially when you feel sorry for others...

p>

14. When will the bright moon come? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

15. Your serious appearance cannot hide your sultry heart!

16. Love rival falls in love It's inside and we can only pee.

17. When you fall down and only have one bar of health left, call Brother Xin Zeng three times and you will be resurrected on the spot.

18. The three things I fear most in life are: first, fear of death, second, fear of getting sick, and third, fear of dying when sick.

19. I would rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince pig riding a white horse.

20. Being able to mix so many bad habits of human beings so perfectly, I believe that if you go out on the street in the rain, Thor will feel sorry if he cannot touch you...

21. The reason why you The sand cannot be tolerated because the sieve you use to select flour is too fine... The reason why I can tolerate you is that I use a net to catch big fish and let the small fish slip through...

22. Buying a computer but not having broadband is like having all the food and wine prepared but becoming a monk before eating.

23. Every morning when I get up, I read the "Forbes" rich list. If my name is not on it, I go to work.

24. The most romantic thing I can think of is to watch you grow old alone.

25. Youth is like toilet paper. There is a lot of it, but it is not enough after using it...

26. There are always a few pictures of Mao Zedong every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, then to blue, then to purple, then to blue, and finally left me.

27. Your new love is not someone else’s broken shoe.

28. There are so many beauties in the country, which attract countless mistresses to commit coquettish acts.

29. Cows are ordinary people, and cow organs are literati.

30. You are gold and I am coal. You will shine and I will generate heat. Don't make me angry, or I'll melt you.

31. The flowery radish encounters the watery little poplar. This will be a heavyweight confrontation in the sexual turmoil.

32. When I turn into a swan, you are still a bastard.

33. The alarm clock only wakes up my body, but cannot wake up my sleeping heart.

34. Take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, and your mood will not be lacking in calcium.

35. How are you doing now? If you are not doing well, I will feel relieved.

36. You, you, you, you, if you force me again, I will feed you Sanlu.

37. Looking at the way he eats, it’s hard to believe that humans will become extinct one day

38. Cow dung is cow dung. No matter how delicious you are, flowers will still be the same. I won’t insert it into you, because it would be degrading to your beauty...

39. People don’t have sex in vain! It’s uncomfortable if you don’t have sex!

40. Damn, I’ve been waiting for you for a long time. news, the result was just a haha, you thought I was telling a joke.

41. Face is something external to the body, you can want it or not. Money is a necessary thing, you have to have it.

42. As long as we have self-confidence, everything is possible.

43. People live by watching other people die, and then letting others watch themselves die.

44. Think about the salary comparison, forget it, I don’t want to live anymore.

45. Seven-year-old boys are the most terrifying creatures on earth. They have curiosity, action, destructive power and the "Protection of Minors Act".

46. In the relationship between two people, if only one person works hard to mix the honey, then in the end, the other bee will only turn into a fly...

47. Every The first time I crammed Buddha, Buddha always gave me a kick.

48. Tomorrow comes tomorrow, and there are so many tomorrows! Since there are so many, you might as well put it off any longer.

49. Old people cannot beat children, they cannot beat women, and they cannot beat men to death.

50. Girls who look at the sky are lonely, boys who look at the sky are looking for UFOs! Classic humorous sentences

1. If a man is not drunk, how can a woman tip; if a woman is not drunk, How do men have a chance? Neither women nor men are drunk, and no one is sleeping in the hotel.

2. I am shy and have never dared to express my feelings to you, but today I finally mustered up the courage: When will you invite me to dinner?

3. A: Do you know the characteristics of crime-solving films? B: Twists and thrills. A: The answer is only half correct, it should be a tortuous love and a thrilling martial arts.

4. First-class men spend women’s money, second-class men spend their winnings, third-class men spend stolen money, fourth-class men spend their wages, and fifth-class men spend their wives’ money.

5. There is something I have always wanted to say to you, but my heart beats so hard every time that I am embarrassed to say it: Actually, you look so cute, just like a little white pig!

6. I would like to be a flying bird in the sky. The air pollution is too bad. If we do tree trimming on the ground, deforestation and logging are unreliable. If the people of the world want to be happy, environmental protection must be done first!

7. The train was very crowded during the Spring Festival travel rush. A certain person took advantage of the stop and stuck his butt out of the window to defecate. The inspector under the car found the fat man shouting: "The fat man is holding a cigar, put his head back."

8. I walked into the bank and said to the teller: Please open a joint account for me. Thank you. Okay, who do you want to drive with? Whoever has more money will open it.

9. A person said to a stammerer: If you imitate a duck, I will give you melon seeds to eat. He stammered and said: I won’t eat your croak, and I won’t imitate the duck’s croak.

10. A weasel placed a sign on the top of a cliff in Chicken Country: How do you know you are not an eagle unless you jump down? Then I waited at the bottom of the cliff every day to eat the chicken that fell to death.

11. My girlfriend said to me fiercely: If you have a mistress, I will beat her to death! In order to prevent her from hurting herself, I never dared to tell her that I was married.

12. How much love can come back. Zhizunbao teaches you a trick: take your cookie box to the balcony at night, and then shout to the moon: Bo Ruo Bo Luo Mi!

13. The sky is not blue without you, I am upset every day without you, I have insomnia at night without you, life is really difficult without you, when will I be able to have you - my beloved money.

14. 528 I love to make money. The God of Wealth has come to my house. I can spend countless bills at my disposal. The check smiles at me. The lottery ticket dances with me. In short, it is paid out again and again. hair.

15. Monday, discharge; Tuesday, holding hands; Wednesday, first kiss; Thursday, passionate love; Friday, beautiful lies; Saturday, romantic kiss goodbye; Sunday, rotation.

16. The law of relationship: women are made of water, men are made of mud; the relationship between the two is: mud thrown into water will stir up at most a wave, but water can soak the mud.

17. Dear, why don’t you answer my call? I am not a SARS virus, and I am wearing a 12-layer mask to speak into the microphone. I promise that I will only kiss the mask and not you.

18. I wrote your name all over the sky and was taken away by the clouds. I wrote your name all over the mountain and was carried away by the wind. I wrote your name all over the streets, kao, and I was taken away by the police.

19. I spent a dime to send you this text message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime text message is my birthday gift to you.

20. The little donkey asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, while the cows only need concentrated feed? The old donkey sighed: We men can't compare. We rely on running errands to eat, while others rely on breasts to eat!

21. That day I looked at your sexy body infatuatedly, twisting naked in front of me, gently touching your skin. I couldn’t resist your temptation: Boss, I want this. fish!

22. You gave birth to a child called Face, and I gave birth to a child called Butt. My face was later separated on the street. Five years later, you came to my house and sighed: If my face was still there, it would be as big as your butt!

23. Husband: Hahaha, that hat you are wearing is so funny, like hahaha, sorry, hahaha, so funny! Wife: Humph! I'll see if you still smile when the bill comes in a few days.

24. I put you in my mind, so you appear in my eyes, I put you in my eyes, so I start to miss you, I put you in my heart, so My heart has been stolen by you!

25. Poetry mashup and brief comments: The mountain does not need to be high, as long as you can climb it; the water does not need to be deep, so long as you can swim; this is a humble dwelling, as long as you can live in it. There are moss marks on the mattress, but the color of grass looks far away but is not visible up close. (Calm and romantic!)

26. Bajie peeped at Spider Spirit taking a bath and asked Monk Tang for help if he wanted to see her naked body. Tang Monk shouted: Be careful! It's thundering! Collect clothes when it rains! The spider spirit rushed ashore, and Bajie fainted: Master, I accepted YOU.

27. Troubles have been fired, sorrow has been defeated, unhappiness has fled, failure has been written off, success is noisy, happiness is laughing, wishful thinking is shrouded, auspiciousness is shining, blessings are surrounding, happiness is reporting!

28. A message brings a smile to your face, and a happy mood is indispensable; a message should be sweet to your heart, and you should not be upset at all times; a message will raise your eyebrows, and good luck will always follow; a message conveys friendship, and I wish you happiness. !

29. I will give you a forget-me-not grass. I'm catching a happy bird for you. When the happy bird flies to you with the forget-me-not grass in its mouth. Please get your mind in order. My best prayer for you at that time: I hope you will be happy until you grow old!

30. Meeting is a melodious song, acquaintance is a cup of mellow wine, getting along is like a swallow flying north, knowing each other is an ancient vine, I will always think of you when there is no one around, I My dearest one, I wish you eternal happiness!

31. No matter how good your martial arts skills are, you are still afraid of kitchen knives; no matter how good your intelligence is, you will be knocked down by a brick; wear other people's shoes, walk your own way, and let others find you! I send you Monday greetings and make others envious and jealous!

32. It’s the weekend again, still blessings: May you get rid of all your worries, turn off all boredom, mute all alarm clocks, embrace all happiness, embrace all blessings, and have a good sleep on the weekend Sleep in!

33. Single Xiao Wang asked Lao Li: Why does the law stipulate that a man can only marry one wife? Lao Li said sincerely: After you have a wife, you will find that this law is actually to protect men. of.

34. Bricks, also known as bricks, are one of the most distinctive cultural heritages of old Beijing. They are highly lethal, easy to carry, highly concealable, and not considered a murder weapon, so I will shoot you It's the most suitable one!

35. Life becomes uncomfortable without you by my side. I hate that ruthless third person for taking you away from me. Do you have feelings for him? I miss you so much, come back to me, my wallet!

36. Confession? Speechless! greeting? Words are short! Don’t worry, we’ll send you a series of tips, touching words and thoughtful greetings to get it done easily. Convey emotions and share happiness, and let romance reach the tenderest corner of his heart.

37. A seventy-year-old grandfather married a young wife. His grandson asked him: How can your body survive at your age? The old man said: This is the same as playing mahjong - eat less, touch more, touch hard, and don't fire.

38. Every day. Miss you very much. Being with you makes me happy and worry-free. I am really infatuated with you. I have been worried and sad about you. I dare not change my heart. Don’t be too suspicious. I took a lot of trouble to write it. I am most afraid that you are unintentional.

39. I wait and wait and hope, but I won’t tell you my expectations. I looked left and right, and finally waited for it to appear behind you. I counted one, two, three, and shouted: The summer solstice is here! Hey, are you scared Xia?

40. The serious consequences of missing you: insomnia, thinking about you all night, tossing and turning. Hypochondria and lovesickness are everywhere, and you are everywhere. It feels so sweet to miss you when you have tooth decay. In the mildest case, it may be tooth decay, but in the worst case, it may be diabetes!

41. The boss of the company is really majestic and brings his little secretary to the world; the department manager is very charming and brings his mistress to China; the department director is not stupid either and brings his lover’s recharge card; the ordinary employees have empty pockets and bring Wife’s local connection.

42. One day, she mentioned that there were many people buying roast duck, so she said without thinking: Once it’s time to get off work, there will be so many people buying roast duck. She saw the window Roast ducks are queuing up in front.

43. A certain bureau was in the process of eliminating the most useless people, and suddenly someone told Xiao Liu: The director asked you if you used the assessment form? Xiao Liu hurriedly ran to the director to explain: I'm useless! I'm really useless!

44. Under the shade of the trees in the hospital, a pair of lovers were hugging and kissing. A doctor saw this and went over to the man and said: You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground to perform artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it.

45. A couple went to register for marriage. Have you ever had a premarital checkup? After checking, his house and car were all intact. I mean go to the hospital. The young woman blushed and replied in a low voice: I checked, it's a boy.

46. May all your troubles in this life be brutally dealt with, and your sorrow become nothing. Sadness also looks for other things, and pain washes away in a golden basin. Once the bleakness is gone, there is no turning back, and the sadness will no longer exist. World Handwashing Day, happiness is with you!

47. I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was taken away by the waves; so I wrote your name in every corner of the street Write your name. Holy shit, I was taken away by the police!

48. I took my youngest son to attend my friend’s birthday. After dinner, everyone went to karaoke, and the younger son volunteered to sing for the protagonist. There was applause. I sang a birthday song for my uncle. There was an uproar. I looked back at the screen: praying.

49. God told me that if I don’t bless you on the weekend, the national treasure will not eat, the rooster will lay eggs, the sun will dim, and the earth will stop spinning immediately. In order to prevent chaos in the world, I can only wish you: double your money, happiness and peace!

50. That day, I was about to go to the zoo to see the orangutans, and you came. I told you my arrangement politely, but unexpectedly you suddenly turned your back and shouted: "Didn't you see that I am right in front of you? You actually want to go to the zoo to see me."

51. One morning, two prisoners got up. A said to B: I had a good dream last night! Person B asked: What’s a good way? A: I dreamed that I forgot to pay my rent and the warden kicked me out angrily.

52. Now the beauty declares: to confuse the mind of a sixty-year-old man, to seize the property of a fifty-year-old man, to separate the wife and children of a forty-year-old man, to strip the waist of a thirty-year-old man Cut it off and tell all twenty year old men to get the fuck out of here.

53. Two dumplings got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was shocked and asked where the bride was. Meatballzi said shyly: "I hate it. You won't recognize me when I take off my clothes!"

54. I have always been by your side and worried about you again and again. Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I've always known that you just can't take care of yourself. Whenever I walk away, you jump out of the pig pen.

55. When the weekend comes, send messages, move your fingers to strengthen contact, your future will be bright and your career will be smooth, your husband and wife will be harmonious and sweet, you will not get sick if you exercise diligently, happiness and luck are all blessings, work hard and be proud of yourself! Have a happy weekend!

56. I wanted to eat instant noodles on the train, and I swung the seasoning bag around. If I was not careful, it flew out. When I looked closely, a man with a head full of seasoning turned around. He said leisurely: Girl, you want to pick me up.

57. My daughter-in-law does laundry and cooking, and her husband praises her: she is capable, I am so happy! My daughter-in-law washes the pots and dishes, and her husband praises me for being so capable. I’m so happy! In the evening, my husband wanted to be intimate. My wife said: For your happiness, don’t do anything.

58. The work is on the desk, and the wealth is at hand. Leisure has style, and health is in it. Love has a background, and warmth is on your shoulders. Open your brows, happiness is in your heart. Labor Day blessings in my heart, may your happiness be endless!

59. It’s late at night, are you okay? At this moment, I miss you crazily, thinking about the promises you made to me and everything you did to me, letting me know that having you is my happiness. At this moment, I am so afraid of losing you. Miss you!

60. One day I went to eat with my friends, and then I ordered a small cucumber (the whole one). As soon as I ate it, my friend said did the one you ate have thorns? I said no, and he said that the ones without thorns are usually used ones. Damn, I squirted right then and there. .

61. Lan: Are there still tickets for sleeper berths and seats? Conductor: All sold out. Lan: Where are the standing tickets? Conductor: Yes, but I can’t sell it to you. Lan: Why? Conductor: The state has clearly stipulated that this year no student should be allowed to go home standing to celebrate the New Year!

62. Mom told Guangzhi (female) to be careful when swinging in the future and don’t let other children see your underwear. On this day, Guangzhi told her mother very happily that her underwear was not seen on the swing today. , I took off my underwear before playing!

63. After Afanti became rich, he drove a car around the world, but as soon as he left, the car got stuck in the desert. It seems that the little donkey is still useful. Where to find it? Afanti thought: Communication is so advanced, send a text message to the little donkey!

64. Little rabbit, open the door. Today is the Opening Day, and blessings are coming in: the door of good fortune is open, and the people of China are blessed with peace and tranquility. Happy doors open, happy events come year after year. The auspicious gate opens, and the auspicious star shines high, bringing good luck. The door of wealth is open, and wealth is pouring in from all directions.

65. I haven’t seen you for a long time. Looking at your graceful collarbone, following your round arc and stroking your cold skin, I couldn’t restrain my inner impulse and called the locksmith company. Impulsive, because I forgot my keys!

66. Peanuts, chestnuts and red dates, health will follow you; walnuts, almonds and brown sugar, happiness has nowhere to hide; rice, millet and corn, luck is unmatched; put all elements of happiness into the pot and cook it into porridge. Here you go, a happy life surrounds you.

67. A woman went into a sex product store and wanted to buy a vibrator. The boss said: They are all above, you can choose by yourself. After choosing carefully, the woman said: I want the red one! , the boss took one look and said: Miss, that’s a fire extinguisher! .

68. I need a daughter-in-law: I don’t have high requirements. I don’t want to have a high degree of education or a good figure. I just want to be hard-working and able to fulfill my filial piety. I need a wife who can do all the laundry and cooking. I don’t want her to be able to carry heavy objects and be able to repair computers. The above points must be kept in mind, and the secret code for communication is: Wife, where are you running!

69. A man drank with a girl at night. After he was very drunk, he sent him to the hotel and finally moved into bed. The girl said: I can't do it anymore, you can do whatever you want. The man was overjoyed and said happily: I can finally go home and watch football~~~~Men who watch football are all good men.

70. It is difficult to own a house or a car. We are all ordinary. Although we don’t have a job and don’t have enough money to make ends meet, we often sleep on the streets and like to play online games. However, we have a gentle personality and never have enough lovers. We will sleep with girls whenever we see them. Don't let go for no reason, be with me, we will last forever.

71. A group of buddies were drinking in the evening. One of them advised: The drunk driving inspections are very strict recently, so drink less. Another buddy said drunkenly: I'm afraid of a ball, there's someone in my traffic police team.

Everyone asked: Who is it? The guy replied: My dad! I just got in a drunk driver last night!

72. Those who are rich do not seek marriage, otherwise they will be recruited. Those who have power do not seek marriage, they will be booked. Those who have houses and cars do not seek marriage. They already have a partner. Don’t look for singles anymore. Okay, I'm already good at seeking marriage. Let's continue our lives together as a couple in distress.

73. Working overtime is not hard, just think about the 25,000 Long March; day and night is not tiring, just think about the revolutionary veterans; running around is really difficult, think about those homeless people. On May 1st Labor Day, I wish us workers a happy holiday, throw away our worries, and be free and happy!

74. Rub your eyes, you have to get up early, wash up and squeeze into the car; look at the sky, look at the ground, go to work alone; feel pain in your heart, feel pain in your heart, who knows, who can ask; good friends , friendship is true, I sent you a text message to greet you; smile happily, be happy, and wish you good luck and money.

75. You are the boss within one week of salary, and your big ticket will skyrocket. It's a good man to be paid for two weeks, and the receipts are brilliant. After three weeks of salary, I was broke, and I was sweating a few coins. Go begging for food around the paycheck, and hang around your friends shamelessly. Moonlight people who feel the same way, please feel free to forward it!

76. A friend was practicing riding a bicycle when a pedestrian came in front of him. The friend panicked and shouted: Stop! stop! Pedestrians stopped in a hurry. Unfortunately, my friend’s riding skills were so poor that he still knocked down a pedestrian. The pedestrian got up and got angry: You told me to stop! Good aim, right?

77. As soon as I came out of the station, there were many taxis at the door. I saw a girl pulling a suitcase and walking straight behind a taxi. Apparently, she wanted to open the trunk. The driver said just put a box in the front, and saw the girl pulling the box and lifting the hood.

78. For you, I always shed tears, but even so, I am unwilling to abandon you; for you, I ask myself whether it is worth it, but your appearance always lingers in my heart. This time, I thought about it for a long time and made a decision: Onion, onion, I am going to break up with you and never cut you again.

79. Today I saw the status update from a friend who has just been married for more than a year: It feels so fast to change from a world of two to a family of three. I thought she was pregnant, so I called her to congratulate her. Unexpectedly, people said: Congratulations, my family of three is a third party's intervention

80. Marriage proposal: I am lonely and eagerly looking for original female animals who live alone. My worth is a place in the grassland of Inner Mongolia. , Occasionally someone peeks into the territory, I can handle it firmly and alone. Recently, the weather has been abnormal, my mind has grown hairy, and I urgently need your care. From Garnett, the Wolf King.

81. My son likes to eat cakes, but there are only two pieces left at one time. He asked me: Mom, can I have two pieces? I said: Of course! I picked up one piece and put it in my mouth, cut the remaining piece into two pieces with a knife, and said to my son: Eat your two pieces of cake! My son burst into tears! Funny and humorous sentences

1. Money is not everything, sometimes credit cards are needed.

2. I was not careful, but I did it on purpose!

3. Hi! Did you receive my text message? Why are you still in a daze? Just smile, okay? You have a nice smile.

4. I would like to be a flying bird in the sky. The air pollution is too bad. If we do tree trimming on the ground, deforestation and logging are unreliable. If the people of the world want to be happy, environmental protection must be done first!

5. I won't watch you jump into the fire pit, I will close my eyes.

6. I want to be an emperor, but I'm afraid of being wordy; I want to be an official, but I'm afraid of having too many things to do; I want to eat, but I'm afraid of cleaning up the pot; I really want to beat you up, but I'm afraid of getting into trouble.

7. I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. I bury my wife in the soil in the spring, and I will be shot in the fall!

8. If we don’t love enough in this life, we will be able to live long in the next life. Survival or death is a question; going to QQ or bbs is a question; chasing a girl or waiting for a girl to chase her is a question, and it is a big question!

9. If God gives you a pair of wings, you should be braised.

Funny sentences

10. An ideal world = free phone calls and free Internet access.

11. I bought a one-inch monitor so that my mistakes look smaller!

12. Everyone should love animals because they are delicious.

13. I think I will accompany you to the market every day in the future.

14. When will the bright moon come? I asked the blue sky for wine and said: Fuck you, I’m so busy, I don’t have time to care about you, just watch the weather forecast.

15. Reading your message quietly, the warmth slowly grows, pervading and tolerating me for a long time. Thank you for letting me accompany you. Thank you for giving me tender care.

16. Beheading is nothing. If the scar on my head is no bigger than a bowl, I will be a zombie again in 18 years.