In this era, it seems that if the single problem is not solved on campus, it seems difficult to find a better partner after leaving society without going through very deliberate channels.

It is said that 40% of people are met through blind dates, and the rest are introduced by acquaintances, friends and colleagues. The proportion of people who really meet on their own seems to be very low. This is also the case with dating software. The reason for its longevity.

Some people may think that in the era of free love, blind dates are so unreliable. After I asked many women who got married through blind dates, I seemed to have different answers.

01

Blind date is like a blind man touching an elephant

@鲁洛 Blind Date Married for Two and a Half Years

As I grow older, my family has been urging me to get married. After going on blind dates one after another, I finally got tired and got married to my current husband.

Now after three years of marriage and the birth of a daughter, every day is unsatisfactory. At first, I didn't think too much about the other person's temperament, so I started dating. Only now do I understand that I need to know more about the other person's interests and hobbies. Like my husband, his whole family likes to play mahjong. They play on mobile phones or together at parties. One dozen can last a whole day.

I know nothing about Mahjong mobile games, so we just play our own games at home without much communication. I feel that I am very tired of my marriage after just over two years. I spend every day in a daze, just for the sake of my daughter.

Therefore, when going on a blind date, you must understand the interests and hobbies of the other party. This is related to whether you can communicate happily after marriage and whether you have the same topic.

@ Xixi Blind Date and Married for Ten Years

Due to my parents’ deep-rooted beliefs, they have always wanted me to find a local to marry. At least we don’t have to live in two places during the holidays. .

Then, I joined the fellow group through the software. We usually chatted well in it. After meeting offline, we all liked each other. After understanding each other's conditions and personalities, we decided to date each other.

In the year we were together, we never had any quarrels over trivial matters in life, and I never acted like a monster. I wasn’t the kind who always asked: Do you love me? ?Or the person who checks his cell phone still maintains the principle of spending his own money.

During this year, he took great care of me. He would give me gifts and red envelopes during holidays. He would do whatever I said and respect me in everything. So we got married at the end of the year. .

I have always been thinking about the future, having a child with him, and going on family trips together when I have free time.

However, just six months after getting married, he told me that he owed a debt of 600,000 yuan due to online gambling before the marriage. 8 credit cards were maxed out, and the house he bought in his hometown in the city still had 20,000 yuan left. Tens of thousands of yuan in loans have not been repaid, and his family has more than 100,000 yuan in foreign debt. The total debt is 900,000 yuan.

When I heard this, I really felt like the sky was about to fall. Maybe in the eyes of rich people, this amount of money is not money at all, but for people in small cities like us, It’s simply a huge sum of money.

Because this man was very good to me, I started to think about continuing to live with him and repay the debt together, because after all, he owed it before we got married when we didn’t know each other, and my life in the next few years was very difficult. Struggle. Fortunately, my husband worked hard on his own and did not give in. It took him six years to finally fill up the "big hole".

A year ago, when life became more stable, I dared to have a baby. But I found out that my husband was gambling online again. I didn’t know what I would face in the future.

02

Blind date means knowing one’s own warmth and coldness

@小RU Blind date and marriage for five years

I heard a saying a long time ago, It is said that blind date has the lowest marriage rate and the highest divorce rate among all methods of marriage between men and women. But from what I have seen and heard, there are not many blind dates that end up being successful, but there are almost no divorces.

When my father recommended my brother and son who used to work together in the factory to me for a blind date, I was still worried that I would be among those who failed to get a blind date. Fortunately, I lived a relatively happy life.

I have been married for five years. During the Chinese New Year, the epidemic was more severe, and everyone in the circle of friends was reposting it? A woman decided to divorce because her husband hid a mask? I was very angry when I saw it, so I commented casually. After a few words, when I got home that day, I found that my husband had placed one of the two masks his work unit had just issued on my pillow.

I saw some activities on some official websites and bought him a razor. He was so happy that he put this small gift into the drawer where he kept valuables.

A few days ago, the weather changed a lot. I had a cold. I took medicine at night and would sweat and feel uncomfortable. As soon as I made any movement, he would ask me: "Where do I feel uncomfortable?" Want tissues? ?, and from time to time he reached out and touched my forehead to check the temperature. He went to work the next day and called me from work every three hours to ask if I was okay.

I feel very lucky to have met such a good man on a blind date.

@淑淑民狠在狠狠的女人

I met my current husband on a blind date when I was 27. At that time, we didn’t have any dating apps like we do now, and we were basically neighbors. It was actually introduced by a relative. We all know each other's family conditions thoroughly, so at least we don't need to worry about any major problems between the two families.

The first time we met was in a small restaurant. He didn't talk much, but he was very attentive. He soon discovered that I couldn't eat spicy food and asked the chef to add another dish. After getting along with him several times, I found that although he was dull, he was gentle and attentive. It didn't take long for us to get a marriage certificate.

I haven’t gone out to work since I got married. I still like to buy things, especially eating. When the child was just born, I couldn’t even hold her, and I hadn’t changed her diaper for three months. I could only call someone if she cried. Every time the child was hungry and pooped at night, my husband would get up to comfort her. Later, I Learn to do this slowly.

If I have to find something wrong with him, it is that his emotional intelligence is relatively low. But if I can speak eloquently, maybe it won’t be my turn.

After twenty years of marriage, we have grown older and our children have grown up. Although there are occasional conflicts, quarrels and a sense of coercion from a third party in life, overall, I live a very happy life. Very contented.

03

Blind date is just a way to meet new people. In essence, it is the same as campus friendship, friend introduction, and social software. They are all about finding sweet love, but they are more purposeful. ?Can it eventually lead to marriage?

Because the steps from blind date to marriage are roughly as follows: Blind date? Determine whether it is worth dating? Determine whether it is suitable for marriage.

When you are preparing to go on a blind date, you must be clear about these two things:

First of all, in fact, you yourself also understand that if two people have no emotional basis, then the novelty will disappear even more. quick.

If two people don’t fall in love at first sight, then the motivation for establishing an intimate relationship may be to gain a different experience from the boring daily life. Simply put, they want to find someone to play and play with. Be happy and find positive energy together.

A relationship that was dull at the beginning will only be as boring as before after falling in love, and each other will have to bear each other's emotions. Maintaining an intimate relationship does require a strong motivation. Of course, it is possible that you are not suitable, or that you have not adjusted your love motivations to the strongest level.

Secondly, do you just want to get married perfunctorily, or do you want to get married for love?

For many people, it doesn’t matter who they marry or how they feel. They can just get a certificate and have a banquet if they think the conditions are right. However, in modern society, we do not just look at external matches. Most of them also require the cultivation of feelings in the early stage.

Therefore, don’t set limits for yourself. Blind date gives you another way to know the opposite sex. Whether you will be happy at the end of this road depends on your own measurement.

Some people will most likely be happy no matter who they are with. Some people, no matter who they are with, will most likely not be happy.

Marriage needs to be managed, sincerity is exchanged for sincerity, and we need to have the ability to give ourselves and each other happiness.

I am Pan Xingzhi, your personal emotional counselor. If you need professional help, send me a private message. Can Xingzhi help you get through the emotional crisis?

You can also add Pan Xingzhi’s personal WeChat ID: iaskpan01 to fully explain your questions and get Teacher Pan’s free public answers. .