Whether a person feels valuable or useless does not depend on what he has done, but on his own opinion. It doesn't depend on others' evaluation of him, but on his own evaluation of himself.

if you want to get out of this emotional state of inferiority and unhappiness, the shallow way can start with cognitive behavior. There is a wrong idea in rational emotional therapy: to generalize from one thing to the whole, and to completely deny yourself because of your failure in something, which will bring us painful emotions. We need to correct this unreasonable thinking of generalizing.

of course, the deeper level is to deal with early life experiences. From the perspective of psychoanalysis, a person's experience from zero to six years old laid the foundation of personality. A person's inferiority is because he was not affirmed in his early experience. Therefore, in adulthood, encountering a little thing can activate the painful memories of my early years: I am worthless and I am useless. We need to explore the repressed self-denial in the subconscious by free association, image dialogue, dream analysis or other means, restore our forgotten experiences in our early years, and re-experience and reshape our feelings from a more objective and adult perspective. Seeing the inner inferiority child, accepting this inferiority is a part of yourself, and saying goodbye to this inferiority child

Everyone will make mistakes sometimes, and it is not terrible to make mistakes. What is terrible is to deny their attitude of making mistakes. You shouldn't feel inferior when you make a little mistake. If you make a mistake, you can correct it, and then you can make progress. Knowing your mistake can improve a lot.

No one is perfect without money. If you look at mistakes in a normal psychological way, you can stand up to your own mistakes, and then you can accept the next challenge. If you can't, it's hard for you to face up to everything and choose to escape. Don't be afraid of making mistakes, you need to exercise yourself well.

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, so you should calm down and think more. If you make mistakes, you should learn from them and correct them to make progress. Accepting your mistakes is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a normal phenomenon. Where you fall, you must stand up.

If you think about it from another angle, things will be different. The light bulb invented by Edison failed after 1 times, but Edison never felt lost and anxious. Thinking from another angle shows that I have developed 1 methods that are not suitable for making light bulbs. Therefore, sometimes it will be more beautiful to think from another angle.

Everything can't go smoothly and follow one's heart in one's experience, but if you make a little mistake, you should face it with a positive attitude. If there is a mistake, there will be a right time, and when there is a mistake, you should learn more. Don't lose the motivation to move forward because you have done something wrong, but still work hard as always and face it with a positive, optimistic and enterprising attitude.

Adjust your mood, and don't live by it. You should feel very happy to be able to correct your mistakes. You should control your mood yourself, and don't let it control you. Everyone is wrong and right. It is impossible to be perfect in everything, but try to be the best.

Don't be too harsh on yourself. Being too harsh is counterproductive. Proper relaxation will play a better role. Sometimes, treat what didn't happen as what happened, be cautious, treat what happened as what didn't happen, relax and implement it with your heart.

A confident person is not afraid of doing something wrong, but regards it as a valuable experience in life. You should update your thoughts, face what happened with positive thoughts, and regard it as a test of life. Only when you have a test can you do better in the next step. Believe in yourself and face everything with confidence.

Look at biographies of celebrities to enhance your self-confidence. Reading a good book is equivalent to talking with many noble people. With the help of other people's thoughts, you can establish your own correct thoughts, do not feel inferior, and do it again if you make mistakes.

Conclusion: Have a correct psychological view of doing something wrong, correct it if it is wrong, believe in yourself, ask yourself reasonably, think from another angle, and keep a positive and optimistic attitude.

I hope you can see my sharing, because I know that living like this is very painful and tiring.

we have been carrying a heavy load.

others' carrying loads is dedication, while ours is self-abuse.

I used to be such a person. Of course, I'm in the same boat now. Let's talk about my opinion.

In fact, what things are like in life depends entirely on how you look at them.

Take doing something wrong as an example. Some people have no feelings at all, and even shirk their responsibilities. Others, like you and me, will blame themselves and feel inferior if they make a little mistake.

We might as well change the scene. When you are alone and break a cup, will you feel useless?

hardly.

what about in public?

you will.

so what we really care about is not whether we are useful or not, but how we are in the eyes of others.

after doing something wrong, besides feeling useless, what we think most is, what will they think of me? Will they think I'm particularly useless?

as for our ability, our judgment standard depends entirely on others. And others? Probably didn't even notice your mistake.

What we are struggling to maintain is the imaginary perfect self. Because we are insecure, even a little shortcoming or mistake is a disaster for us and a great impact on the perfect self.

We are living with a magnifying glass, and all self-defects are not allowed.

If this goes on, one of the biggest hazards is that you dare not do anything. You are afraid of making mistakes in everything you do, and you are tied behind your hands, just like being sealed by yourself. You are very wronged and very uncomfortable.

At work, you are treading on thin ice, thinking about a decision for a long time for fear of making mistakes, which is extremely inefficient. Even if the decision is made, I will be very nervous: will this decision be wrong, and should I make a new decision? I am very tired every day.

in life, I can't let myself go when I'm on tiptoe, because I'm afraid of making a fool of myself.

fear, fear, pervades all aspects of our lives.

how is life? No, it's simply a horror story with dangers everywhere.

We must solve this problem and make up our minds!

and the best way is to let go of yourself and not take yourself too seriously.

You can imagine yourself as a beggar. In others' eyes, I am zero, and there is nothing to lose.

1. Even if others think I am incompetent, what can I do?

When I make a mistake and feel useless, you should ask yourself: Even if others think I am incompetent, what can I do? What will I lose?

most of the time, it's nothing! Breaking the cup, you think I'm all thumbs, so what? What can affect me? Will I become ugly because of your evaluation? Will I lose a piece of meat? Will I get a promotion?

NO！

Ask yourself more every time, and tell yourself more. You don't think I can do it, so what?

2. What you think of me is someone else's business.

Psychologist Adler put forward a theory called "separation of topics". He believes that everyone has his own life topic, so don't solve the problems that others want to solve.

for example, what others think of me. What others think of me is someone else's subject, and I can't decide. You always solve this problem by yourself, just like carrying a heavy load on one person's back. The burden of life is already heavy enough, and you carry another person. Do you think it is more tiring?

there are no quiet days in the world, but someone carries the burden for you.

others' carrying loads is dedication, and we are self-abuse.

and others won't realize what time is quiet.

so, when you make a mistake again, tell yourself: that's someone else's project, and I shouldn't solve it, and I can't solve it.

People like us just live too tight and always look like a frightened bird.

Let's try, let go of ourselves and try to bloom heartily, starting with a hearty smile that no longer cares about others, and starting with a look that doesn't care about others' eyes.

Establish new thinking habits and reaction modes for yourself.

come on!

Xiaowen Li, Beijing Heart Love Psychological Counselor:

Hello, it seems that you also feel that you are a little too harsh on yourself. It is unreasonable to feel useless if you do something wrong. It's just that you didn't do it well. You shouldn't completely deny this person. This punishment is too much.

You can think about it. How did you become such a hard person? What kind of person do you want to be if you don't demand so much from yourself, and how can you be what you want to be? If you fundamentally adjust your mentality, you must think about these issues clearly, so that you can make a choice in the direction you want in each choice.

It may not be so easy to figure out these problems. Perhaps this is also a topic that everyone will face all his life. We need to see how he grew up, how his attitude towards himself was formed, and who will affect his attitude towards himself. If I don't like my present attitude towards myself, then what attitude I want to have towards myself.

To err is human, just remember the following points.

1. Do your own thing and let others talk about it. Don't feel inferior when you do something wrong. Inferiority is the most potential killer. Why should you correct it? Don't ask others what to think. If

2, everyone is busy and has their own things, no one will worry about your little mistake. It's human nature when everyone has mistakes.

3, it's wrong to always dwell on the little mistake you made. You should try to prove that you are stronger than inferiority, and inferiority will only make you fall. It's better to forget it and go ahead and get others' admiration, so don't feel inferior and be confident and appreciate yourself a little more. You should know that no one is perfect in the world, even God can't satisfy everyone.

look down on the gains and losses! A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise! Gain is loss, loss is gain, because at the same time, you can't enjoy the sky and the earth at the same time, you can only get one.

put away your separation! Why is it so clear? A good thing doesn't necessarily mean a good thing. It easily makes you proud, which may make you fall more painful. And bad things are not necessarily bad things, it can make you reflect on yourself, correct your behavior, and follow the right path to success.

Let go of your regrets. Even if you travel back through time and space, things will still happen like that, because it must be to make you understand something, so it has to happen like that.

What you do, what you think and what happens around you often make you feel inferior. They happen just to cultivate you and not to make you feel inferior. Once you overcome this psychology, you will be invincible.

I feel useless when I do a little wrong, and I blame myself. This is caused by my personality, maybe because I am a little sensitive and care about any little thing.

it's normal to feel remorse for doing something wrong, and it's a little timid if you blame yourself too much. There are two kinds of mistakes: one is intentional, and the other is unconscious. If you make a deliberate mistake, you will be blamed internally, and if you make an unintentional mistake, you can forgive yourself. Because mistakes can make you grow up, don't feel too inferior.

Inferiority is a common mental illness, which needs to be corrected. You are not more stupid than others, but you don't see your own advantages. You feel useless when you do a little wrong, which proves that you are very responsible and want to do everything well.

Then in life, we must first know ourselves in all directions, know how to encourage ourselves and know how to recognize ourselves, so as not to make ourselves feel too inferior.

Self-abasement begins with the adjustment of mentality. I think from the moment I wake up every day, I should tell myself that today is a beautiful day. No matter what happened yesterday, after all, yesterday has become a thing of the past and cannot be changed. I don't want to let yesterday's troubles affect today's mood. Everything starts now!

I feel useless when I do something wrong, which may be caused by our way of understanding.

For example:

For example, I got up late one day and was going to be late for work. I may be in a hurry to prepare, while unconsciously thinking:

I will be late for work today.

what if the leader finds out?

He may think that I am a person who is not serious about my work. Although it is my first time, he is a man who makes a mountain out of a molehill.

what if he gives my newly accepted project to someone else?

I don't have any projects to do. What about my credit card this month?

I may be urged by the bank.

what a shame it would be to call the office or make a friend.

I'm really useless myself.

Our automatic thinking is so terrible that it leads us step by step into the miserable idea.

Therefore, when you make a mistake about a little trifle, you should first pay attention to the present "little trifle" and solve the problem well.

once the automatic thinking is started, we can take a sip of water or change our original posture and stop these bad thoughts immediately.

If you really think that you are useless, you might as well think about it. Are you really so useless? I have done many things before, which shows that I am a very capable person.

So, don't let unreasonable automatic thinking bother you, and don't let unreasonable cognition interfere with your emotions.

I'm a counselor.

A lot of professional knowledge has been mentioned by all the teachers in the building, so I will write a few stories from the aspects of life.

1. First, evaluate your current status level. Inferiority and unhappiness stem from your high demands on yourself and the possibility of a little perfectionism. To overcome this, you need to evaluate your current situation first. This part is best evaluated by a professional psychological counselor.

2. Look for experiences that have made you happy. After finding it, imitate it and make yourself happy with the same paragraph.

3. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Life is alive, to err is human.