Non-mainstream funny quotes

1. If you prey on the common people, the common people will prey on you!

2. Knowing that you are not doing well makes me feel at ease.

3. When I’m drunk, I won’t obey anyone, so I’ll hold on to the wall!

4. Our goal: focus on money and make big profits.

5. Others have backgrounds, but we have back views.

6. Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

7. Studying Chinese for 10 years is not as good as chatting on QQ for half a year.

8. Youth is capital, but it is worthless without hard work.

9. I don’t even want a basin for the water that was thrown out.

10. I don’t need you to understand, I just need you to shut up.

11. I don’t even believe your punctuation marks.

12. I am like grass, unable to extricate myself

13. Yuelao, have you broken my red rope?

14. As soon as you go out, thousands of birds will fly away, and thousands of people will disappear.

15. Although the bird is small, it plays with the whole sky.

16. When I came to this world, I had no intention of going back alive.

17. The red beans don’t grow in the South, but grow on your face. I really think about it.

18. Youth is dedicated to the house, and middle age is dedicated to the children.

19. The world is as big as the one you lack.

20. In the days when there were no women, I enjoyed teasing men.

21. Don’t show me your face, you think you are a color palette.

22. No matter how big the official is, he will have more money. The king of hell still dragged him in.

23. Apart from teeth, there is also love that makes people unable to extricate themselves.

24. It’s been a long time since anyone has made cowhide look so fresh and refined.

25. I read time-travel novels every day, and the toilet I read looks like a hole in time-travel.

26. Dreaming is the earliest wireless communication method in human history.

27. I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me?

28. How dare I touch you? I’m afraid that I will impoverish myself by buying hand sanitizer.

29. Is my face oily? Reflective, can't see clearly.

30. My strengths: courage to admit my mistakes; weaknesses: determined not to change.

31. What you can’t extricate yourself from is love and the radishes in other people’s fields.

32. When I take off my clothes, I am a beast, but when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

33. Don’t force me, otherwise I will become great and out of control.

34. If QB is used as a reward in the exam, the country will become rich and powerful immediately.

35. I don’t understand music, so I am sometimes unreliable and sometimes out of tune.

36. Exam results are announced: If you do well in the exam, you will laugh. If you do not do well in the exam, you will cry or laugh.

37. Please don’t regard my tolerance of you as your shameless capital.

38. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me.

39. Huh, winter is the most hooligan, always likes to freeze my hands and feet.

40. Protect yourself, love others, and please don’t come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

41. Life is like fighting against landlords. Those who were just a group will become enemies in the blink of an eye.

42. When you speak ill of me, can you please stop adding fuel and vinegar to it, thinking that it’s just a stir-fry?

43. Take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, and your mood will not be lacking in calcium.

44. My wallet is like an onion, it makes me burst into tears every time I open it.

45. Women are anxious when men do not make money, and regret when men make money.

46. In the past, my love was like a dwarf, hung to death by a bush.

47. If one day I become a gangster, please tell others that I was innocent.

48. A woman always has a few days when she is very strong, even if she is bleeding.

49. Whenever I eat and drink enough, I will think of the serious matter of losing weight.

50. My life creed is: live for decades like a grandson, and then die as a grandpa.

51. The longest relationship I have ever had was narcissism. Love yourself and have no rival.

52. Even if you already have a wife, I will move you to my side.

53. I fell in love with you because my brain was filled with water, but now my brain is dry. .

54. God gave us seven emotions and six desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

55. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, but it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.

56. I look at the time in the morning not to see what time it is, but to see how long I can sleep.

57. You name it, if you don’t have a diploma, you’ll learn to be ugly, and if you’re not smart, you’ll learn to be bald.

58. When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the lack of gravity on the earth for constipation.

59. I allow you to enter my world, but I do not allow you to walk around in it.

60. My advantage is: I am very handsome; but my disadvantage is: I am not obviously handsome.

61. If you toss a coin, if it comes up, you will go online. If it comes up, you will go to bed. If you stand up, you will go to do your homework.

62. When I was a child, I loved playing hide and seek. After others hid it, I would go home to eat.

63. When parents deceive their children, it is called education; when children deceive their parents, it is called deception; when they deceive each other, it is called generation gap.

64. Time waits for no one, but first of all it cannot spare women; opportunity waits for no one, first of all it cannot spare men.

65. When I love you, whatever you say is what I say. What do you say you are when I don't love you.

66. There was gold under the man’s knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn’t even find a piece of copper!

67. Although you are sprayed with cologne, I can still vaguely smell the smell of scum.

68. What makes me feel proud and proud is that so far, the earth is still under my feet.

69. I am like a fly lying on the glass, the future is bright, but I can’t find a way out

70. Everyone is original and sad when they are born Yes, many people have gradually become pirates!

71. Is there anyone who has a crush on me? Those of you who have a crush on me, don’t be shy, say your love out loud.

72. When someone pushes you down, no matter how hard or tired you are, you must stand up and give her a hard slap in the face.

73. The chemistry teacher asked: What should I do if there is a gas leak at home? He stood up and said: Have a cigarette to calm down.

74. Journey to the West tells us: All monsters with a backing were picked up, and all monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick.

75. Things tend to be like this, and it’s too late to turn back. Even if you are willing to become a bad horse, there may not be a way to turn around waiting for you.

76. Never quarrel with your parents, because you will only get scolded when you fail to win, and beaten when you win.

77. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.

78. If you watched the big trees turn into homework books, would you still have the heart to do your homework? In order to protect nature, we don't do homework.

79. It only took 5 minutes to get up this time. You have defeated 88 students across the country. There is another classmate in the dormitory who failed to get up and is restarting. All the dormitories next door have crashed!

80. I have a stomachache today and feel like vomiting. There was an exam in the afternoon. Halfway through the exam, I couldn't hold it in and vomited. The teacher came over and said with concern: What, the question is too disgusting? Non-mainstream super funny quotes

1. Live a happy-go-lucky life with an indifferent attitude

2. The greatest revenge I can give you is to live a happier life than you do.

3. Artificial intelligence and natural stupidity cannot be compared - because we advocate pure nature.

4. People’s luck, like their menstrual cycle, comes in waves.

5. Valentine’s Day is actually short. Holding and letting go of hands, a lover is gone

6. Before I met you, my world was black and white, but after I met you, my world was completely black.

7. They say there is gold under a man’s knees, but I chopped off my legs and couldn’t even find copper.

8. When others have no shoes to walk, run quickly...

9. If you don’t sleep, Duke Zhou will close the door soon

10. I She has never been an elegant person, she is just a sluggish female hooligan.

11. The happiest thing is to see others unhappy, and the least happy thing is to see others happy...

12. Hold a class reunion if you have nothing to do, break up the whole group Yes, they are a pair

13. It is not terrible to meet a group of rogues on the Internet, but the terrible thing is to encounter a bunch of rogue software.

14. I am not a bone and cannot be chased by every dog

15. The most tragic thing in life: When you are with the person you love most, you are not Thinking that there is another man hiding under her quilt

16. The nature of the parent-teacher conference is the same as that of a mistress, aiming to destroy family harmony.

17. The guy is just for sex, but why do so many people use him to show off?

18. I am not a guy, so don’t blame me for your shame.

19. I’m not a rag collector. I can’t let you be there at your call.

20. When you’re in a good mood, it’s nice to listen to worries. When you’re in a bad mood, you can listen to them. Everything is like anxiety.

21. Between relatives, talking about money hurts feelings; between lovers, talking about feelings hurts money.

22. I want to be good friends with girls. It's very simple, confess your love to her. Soon you heard her say: We are still good friends.

23. Do you know how much courage it takes for me to dial your number, but you turned off your phone.

24. When you grow up, you want to marry Tang Seng. If you can play with him, play with him; if you can’t play with him, eat him.

25. Carve loneliness on the wine bottle and drink it into the bladder. Pee out and let loneliness spread all over the place.

26. You are the only channel in my heart. The most annoying thing is that there are no ads.

27. When we play Landlords, when a deck of cards contains 'Little Three', we will play it first

28. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you. It's because I'm not afraid of your death.

29. I like you. Those eyes are moving and your laughter is even more charming.

30. We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn dirt into gold, and I hope she treats gold like dirt!

31. Remember; if someone says money can't buy happiness, then he just doesn't know where to buy it.

32. I like things like this but I am afraid of things like this

33. I asked someone to help you find out. There is still a place in hell, you can just go there

34. Don’t call me a homebody, please call me Madame Curie!

35. The day you left, I decided not to shed tears and held my eyes open against the wind without blinking.

36. Your shortness is lifelong, but my fatness is temporary. Non-mainstream funny quotes on the Internet

1. The direction of the headwind is more suitable for flying. I am not afraid of thousands of people blocking me, I am only afraid of surrendering myself

2. A low-key and boring high-profile, a high-profile one will be beaten. Signs

3. When two people meet, what follows is either a story or an accident

4. Marriage is like a maze, and the person who builds it has already lost his way first.

5. A strong life does not need explanation.

6. Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly!

7. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

8. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend anyone; if someone offends me, I’ll be polite; if someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot; if someone offends me again, I’ll root it out

9. Human life is like shit. Sometimes you have worked very hard but all that comes out is just a fart.

10. Format yourself just to delete you.

11. Sorry, the user you dialed is married.

12. There is no first come, first served in the world of love, there is only love between you and me!

13. It was still easy to mess around in ancient times. If you cut it off, you can become a civil servant.

14. I am not Mona Lisa, and I will not smile at everyone.

15. Believe it or not, I slapped you on the wall and you couldn’t even pick it off!

16. According to pig aesthetics, I can basically be regarded as a handsome guy

17. Don’t tell me you love me, I feel like vomiting after hearing this too many times.

18. Life is like a journey, you may end up overturning somewhere.

19. Just because we have a holiday, you can’t treat me as a holiday.

20. The departure of stool. It is the pursuit of the toilet. Still don’t hold back the butt

21. When I hear a certain name and think of certain things, this city is so quiet that my heart trembles.

22. It’s easy to hide from the bright ones, but hard to guard against the hidden ones

23. When the birds are big, they can be found in any forest

24. Don’t be afraid of gangsters, just be afraid Gangsters are educated

25. The longer I stay in contact with people, the more I like dogs. Dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people!

26. Driving is easy, as long as there are new people

27. I have no intention of being different, but how can I have outstanding taste.

28. Don’t talk about feelings with me. Talking about feelings will hurt money

29. A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good driver.

30. If you are not allowed to lie on the grass, just plant cacti.

31. If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

32. The tongue lasts longer than teeth, and software lasts longer than hardware.

33. Playing with emotions? I will make you cry rhythmically. 2020 Non-mainstream Funny Quotations

1. With the reform and opening up, my weight has gone up.

2. Look at yourself. It is indeed better than garbage.

3. If you don’t want to live, then die. If you can’t die, then live well.

4. If you lose your wife, you can find her again. There is only one mother.

5. In this era, Wukong is pursuing leopard print fashion and sexiness

6. Count money until your hands cramp, and sleep until you wake up naturally.

7. Use lies to verify lies, and what you get will definitely be lies

8. Bored mother, crying with boredom in her arms: Bored to death...

9. I want to make a phone call. Open the phone book. But I don’t know who to call

10. The past is the past, and the present is now

11. It doesn’t matter what you say, but who said it is important

12. Because I persist, I am not afraid of regrets.

13. The deaf man heard the mute say that the blind man saw a ghost.

14. Besides 10086, who else has cared about me?

15. The so-called 'belief' means 'betting' on whether your wife will believe your lies.

16. It’s so pleasant to sleep with the air conditioner on when the weather is cold

17. Those who always say that others are pretending, you are not even pretending.

18. The third party is not the one who comes later, but the one who is not deeply loved.

19. Believe me, I am very low-key, Xixi, why am I so cute?

20. Wow, the system is not happy? Say something nice and try again

21. Hey, demo. If you are told that you are fat, you will still choke.

22. Sister, it’s not that I don’t write about my mood, it’s that I’m not in the mood.

23. You don’t need to say anything, I understand everything. Do you want to say that my sister is beautiful?

24. I would rather make him feel uncomfortable when he is drunk than to let him feel aggrieved without drinking.

25. It’s only because I abandon you or because you ignore me.

26. I really don’t want to say that you look like the scene of the car accident.

27. Ultraman is a joke, but Zhu Bajie is the cutest one.

28. Don’t spend the money you make, just keep it to wipe your butt.

29. A talented man studying at night longs for a female ghost, and a bachelor old man longs for an aunt;

30. People really can’t care too much about men, otherwise he will be like a crazy dog

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31. Watch that conversation every day. The corners of his mouth raised unconsciously.

32. Are you the Pacific Police? It's very lenient.