. . File format: epub

. . Brief introduction of content. .

How to form new habits?

How to make the mind more mature?

How to have a high quality relationship?

How to get out of the difficult moment of life?

What are the different missions at different stages of life?

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Psychology can provide many useful clues to solve these problems.

Dr. Chen combines his own 13 psychological counseling experience and thinking, and combines the theories of many schools of psychology to give you a set of systematic ways to achieve life breakthrough from five aspects: behavior, thinking, relationship, bottleneck period and life map.

This book does not beat chicken blood or pour chicken soup, but provides a series of practical tools for change and development, which directly hits various problems in life. Help you create a more satisfying life and achieve a great self.

. . Author's brief introduction. .

Chen, Ph.D. in Psychology, Zhejiang University, a famous psychological consultant, distinguished professor, Alibaba Business School. He has 13 years of psychological counseling experience and has received more than 6,000 visitors. I once worked in the Psychological Center of Zhejiang University, during which I offered a general course of "Positive Psychology", which was very popular.

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The last time I read this kind of book, I cried. This is also Chen's happy lesson: in the face of imperfect parents, in addition to anger and forgiveness, we "can also choose sadness." At that moment, it was like reconciliation with what I had always opposed. It turns out that there is nothing I can do after reading it, but I am simply sad. This time, he said that "the meaning of the process is to make everything happen". To be honest, I seldom feel what lights up my life. Some words mostly come from reading, but this sentence is amazing to me. I think of a lot of dark times, a lot of complaints, and nothing more than putting myself in a series of results, as if everything is waiting for the verdict, but the verdict often means the end. Are all the meanings and values really buried in such a short and boring ending? ..... Needless to say, many theories in the book will be familiar to me when I have read enough psychology, and people can remember that many theories are repeatedly read in frustration to comfort themselves, but what is really needed is heartfelt consciousness, so what touches me is those mixed in the gap.

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1, the core of the principle of small steps and quick running is to focus on what you can do now. 2. Dichotomy of Control Step 1: While thinking about what you are worried about, find out what you can and can't control, and turn your attention to what you can control. The second step: in the uncontrollable part, find out what can be controlled, make a plan and try to do it well. What can I do now? Am I willing to do this? I used to read books on psychology, trying to find my own "illness" or the answer to life, but now, in Mr. Chen's book, I think more about how to practice, apply and train myself, rather than finding a way once and for all, but seeing a way to extend forward.

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I have always liked Chen's analysis, perspective and expression. I like the first chapter of this book about changing myself best. This chapter is about how to really find and face up to the difficulties and fears you encounter when you change yourself. The detained star is still too audio-like. I look forward to a deeper and more systematic arrangement. So compared with books, I still recommend audio lessons ~

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However, independence is not easy. It also means loneliness to some extent. Independent people are really weaned psychologically. When he encounters difficulties or is in a bad mood, he no longer has "natural" expectations for his relatives, friends and colleagues. He can ask for help, which is his own subject. At the same time, he knows that whether others help him or not is someone else's topic. From the day of independence, he lost the reason and qualification to complain. Of course, he doesn't need to have any natural responsibility for other people's emotions, because this is another topic. How can an independent person not be lonely without the usual way of keeping in touch with others through digging and futures? Loneliness may be a truth of life. After all, in this world, no one can fully understand another person, and no one can fully take charge of another person's life. We always say that this is my family, my lover, my child and my best friend, as if we had a person. Possession is the biggest illusion in the history of interpersonal relationship. No one can possess another person. We just met and walked together on our separate journeys. This encounter is long and short, and eventually we have to go our separate ways. But it is precisely because others don't have to be nice to us that we have reason to be grateful. It is because we don't know if the other party will cheat us that we have trust. It is because you can leave that persistence is valuable. Freedom is the premise of virtue, and all the beautiful things in interpersonal relationships will become beautiful only by voluntary choice.

New Relationships: How Relationships Evolve

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"What can I do now? Do I want to do it? "

Imagine you have a child. He tried his best, but he didn't finish the homework assigned by the teacher because of his fun. Imagine that you are the father or mother of this child. How will you educate this child? What kind of education do you think that child wants?

What children need is not severe criticism, nor indulgence, but the kind of norms with love, kindness and firmness. Firmly do not forget the goal and direction, kindness can forgive and accept. After all, he is just a child.

You're the kid. You should also be your loving and firm parents. Tell myself that I am just a mortal, accept my shortcomings and love myself. After procrastination, use self-motivation instead of self-condemnation to remind yourself that you can do better. At the same time, the final delay is not regarded as a debt to be repaid, but an end. Going into battle lightly with new goals and starting over is the only way to re-accumulate energy in guilt and self-blame. Because in the final analysis, what can make us not delay depends on love.

Look back at two divided selves: the progressive you and the degenerate you, of course. When you want to be lazy, replace blame with encouragement and tell yourself, "You can do more than you do now." When resting, tell yourself confidently, "I'm tired, let me have a rest."

So, try to respect another self, just like respecting a friend. Giving up the struggle with yourself is like a soldier who has been fighting for many years and finally wants to return to the battlefield.