As parents, we always hope to give our children the best, the best material conditions, the best learning resources, and let them attend various training classes every day. We don’t want them to lose at the starting line. superior. However, most of our parents do not want to make progress or seek progress. They also seek comfort from their children and ask their children to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes. But they ignore the most important point. In fact, the best education for children is the words and deeds of parents.
Recently, I re-read Mr. Yang Jiang's "The Three of Us". Every word is sincere and heartfelt. You will have different feelings every time you read it. Mr. Yang Jiang uses simple and unpretentious words to express the most important things about a family of three. Real affection. Among them, the way Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang educated their children through words and deeds also left a positive influence on their daughter Qian Yuan throughout her life.
Yang Jiang (1911-2014), whose real name is Yang Jikang, is a famous writer, critic and translator. His ancestral home is Wuxi, Jiangsu, and he was born in Beijing. Graduated from Soochow University in Suzhou in 1932. From 1935 to 1938, he studied in England and France. After returning to China, he taught at Shanghai Aurora Women's College of Arts and Sciences and Tsinghua University. After 1949, he worked in the Institute of Literature and the Institute of Foreign Literature of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. His major works include the scripts "A Wishful Desire" and "Making a Fake Come True"; the novel "Taking a Bath"; the essay "Six Notes on the Cadre School"; the collection of essays "About Drinking Tea" and "Coming to the Edge of Life"; the memoir "The Three of Us"; and the translation "The Three of Us". "Don Quixote", "Gil Blas", "The Little Leper", "Phaedo", etc.
The original ecological family environment shapes the character of the child
There is a widely circulated saying: "Character determines destiny." Although it is a bit extreme, it also reflects the character to a certain extent. importance to a person. So what determines character? There are many opinions, including innate determinism, acquired environment theory, family education theory, school education theory, etc., but one of the more recognized views is that the original ecological family environment has a crucial impact on children!
Among the three of us, everyone can see that Qian Yuan has a cheerful and lively personality, is well-educated, and is like brothers and sisters with her parents. Yang Jiang once wrote in the book: A Yuan often said: " My father and I are the best buddies. We are my mother's two naughty boys. My father is not worthy of being my elder brother, but only worthy of being my younger brother. "The two of them would form a gang to rebel against me. For example, they slept together while I was abroad. There is no paving at all. I predict that I will come back and quickly tidy up. After I came home, Ayuan whispered softly: "The dog's nest is so comfortable." Sometimes they quoted naughty words from classics, and I couldn't turn a corner for a while. They proudly said: "Mom is a bit stupid!"" The three of them are like brothers and sisters. They joked with each other, how much family envy was contained in this sentence. A Yuan grew up in such a warm and democratic family, and lived as a smart, smart, beautiful and smart girl.
When it comes to my family environment, I also try to create an open, relaxed and equal environment for my daughter. Everyone respects each other and protects my daughter's natural hobbies. In daily life, especially in front of my daughter, pay attention to my speech and behavior, and not be extreme or paranoid. The goal is to maintain pleasant and peaceful communication while also respecting each individual's independent personality. The goal is to create a healthy and positive original ecological family environment, which I believe will have an indelible impact on the children's life.
Parents. Hobbies make children’s ambitions
There is a sentence in Accompanying Growth that impressed me deeply, "You know, your children will witness how you use your time." If you make time to pursue the things you love—reading, drawing, stargazing, gardening—your child will feel that learning is an important part of life. "Parents are children's first teachers, and parents' hobbies play a vital role in cultivating children's interests. As we all know, the respected Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang are both people who love reading, and their parents are eager to learn. The spirit and rigorous academic attitude also deeply influenced this daughter Qian Yuan. Luo Yinsheng, the author of "Yang Jiang Biography", once recalled that when he walked into Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu's home, they felt that the living room was full of books. The two become one, and the main space is occupied by desks and bookcases. The most eye-catching thing in the simple room is the large and small bookcases filled with books: Chinese and foreign languages, classical and modern, showing that the two owners are well versed in Chinese and Western cultures. When he was 19 years old, Qian Zhongshu was admitted to Tsinghua University under special circumstances. As soon as he entered the school, he made a great ambition to "sweep the Tsinghua Library". How could Qian Yuan not be influenced by such a scholarly family? Under the influence of her parents, Qian Yuan was also addicted to books and developed a photographic memory since she was a child. To: When she saw us reading, she came to grab our books. We bought her a high stool and a big book - the complete works of Tennyson. She sat on a high stool with a big book spread out in front of her and a pencil in her hand. She followed our example and scribbled on the book while reading. "It is said that parents are the best teachers for their children. Parents teach their children through words and deeds. There is an irreplaceable impact. A child who has been studying with his parents since he was a child will definitely be unusual when he grows up. Later achievements also proved the important influence of reading on Qian Yuan.
Qian Yuan graduated from the Russian Department of Beijing Normal University and stayed at the school to teach. She started teaching English in 1966. In 1978, she was sent to Lancaster University in the UK to further study English and linguistics. She returned to China in 1980. Promoted to professor in 1986. In 1993, he was hired as a doctoral tutor in English language and literature in the Department of Foreign Languages. The reason why she achieved such academic achievements is inseparable from her parents' love of reading.
I often read in front of my four-year-old daughter. Sometimes she will take out a storybook from her bookshelf and ask me to tell it to her. As long as she asks, I will not do it no matter how busy I am. Refuse, because books will open up another world for her and bring many possibilities to her life. Every night, my mother reads, my father writes in a diary, and my daughter draws. We each do what we like, supporting each other and not disturbing each other. This is the ideal picture of life. So parents' behavior deeply affects their children.
Parents’ love nourishes children’s happiness
Qian Zhongshu once said, “Before I met her, I never thought about getting married; I have been married to her for decades, and I have never thought of getting married. I regret marrying her; I have never thought about marrying another woman. "Meeting the most beautiful you in the best years is probably the most beautiful thing about love. They went hand in hand and went through the most difficult years together. There is a passage among the three of us: "Our family is very simple; the three of us are very simple. We have nothing to do with the world or fight with others. We just want to be together, stay together, and do what we can. . When encountering difficulties, Zhongshu always takes them on with me, and the difficulties are no longer difficult; and there is A Yuan who helps me, and no matter how hard or bitter things happen, they can become very sweet if we are a little happy. Happy. So the three of us met in an unusual way." Yuanyuan lived in such a loving family, and it was understandable that she grew up to be a loving person. She has been considerate of her mother since she was a child. If she is afraid that she will be alone, she will not go out at night; if she is worried about her illness, she will reluctantly write letters to report that she is safe. She inherited her father's innocence and naughtiness, and her mother's quietness and elegance. It is precisely such a harmonious native family that can cultivate such a loving child. When she grew up, Qian Yuan was also kind-hearted and helpful. She was determined to be a teacher and dedicated her life to education, cultivating generations of aspiring talents.
There is a saying that has become very popular recently: "The best education is when the father loves the mother." National father-in-law Huang Lei and Sun Li have always been a model couple in the entertainment industry. They have been in love for more than 20 years and have always been sweet and sweet. There has never been any scandal. Huang Lei fell in love with Sun Li at first sight when she first arrived at Beijing Film Academy at the age of 18. They ended their nine-year relationship and got married. Later, they had their eldest daughter Huang Duoduo. I have always liked Huang Duoduo, a girl with high emotional intelligence, from watching Where My Dad Goes a few years ago. In the show, you can see that she is a self-respecting and confident child, considerate and generous, considerate, loving small animals, and enthusiastically taking care of her younger siblings. In a family, the father loves the mother, the mother loves the father, the father and the mother love the children, and the children who are nourished by love must also be happy!
In fact, the best education is the words and deeds of parents. Among the three of us, the best education method is expressed in the simplest words. In Qian Zhongshu’s eyes, Yang Jiang is the most virtuous wife. , the most talented woman; Yang Jiang also once said, "The greatest contribution of my life is to preserve Qian Zhongshu's naughtyness and madness, so that Qian Zhongshu's nature is not oppressed or damaged." They The family's happy growing environment, their love for reading and their mutual love have all shaped the daughter's good character. As the saying goes: "Parents are children's first teachers."
Parents' behavior, their outlook on life, world view, and values ??directly affect their children's views of the world. Therefore, instead of creating superior material conditions for him, it is better to create a good family environment for him. Parents' precepts and deeds are the most valuable wealth for children.