"I really couldn't bear it anymore, so I lost my temper, but it seemed to make the situation worse... This was really not what I wanted..." The patient explained how he felt angry

Troubled, I really want to find a way to make myself less angry, so that others will not be hurt and I will not be in such pain.

When we are triggered by a series of emotional reactions due to external stimuli, if the physical and mental load is exceeded and the brain can no longer handle it rationally, only emotional instinctive reactions are left.

This is like a reflexive fight back, which is usually more destructive.

People often describe it as "the line of reason is broken", as if the brain does not have enough space to operate, and suddenly there is a huge alarm sound (burst) or the computer crashes.

In fact, reason is always there, but the brain's information processing and operation space is occupied by external stimuli and emotional reactions. The reason and cognitive function can only be turned off or left a little bit. At this time, people usually experience a kind of being suppressed.

The feeling of being emotionally tied up and needing to work hard to break free or resolve it.

There are more and more clinical studies on emotions. American psychiatrist Daniel.

Dan Siegel proposed the "Window of Tolerance" and explained: Everyone has a window of physical and mental tolerance, in which no matter what emotions occur, they can be kept within a tolerable range.

The client is able to regulate physical and mental responses, and his cognitive functioning is normal.

? But if the emotion is too intense, it may break out of the tolerance window and enter a "high excitement" state. At this time, adrenaline is stimulated, and aggressive behaviors may occur, such as the voice becomes sharp, yelling, swearing, and throwing things.

, clenching fists to hit someone...; evasive behavior may also occur, such as running away immediately, pretending not to hear...

Some people will enter a "low agitation" state when encountering a critical incident. The body is suddenly unable to move or respond. At this time, the whole person freezes, has no feeling, and may have no memory.

Regardless of high excitement or low excitement, it is beyond one's tolerance window, making it impossible to regulate emotions, causing temporary cognitive dysfunction, resulting in emotional outbursts or panic reactions.

If you can regulate your emotions and return them to a window of tolerance that your body and mind can tolerate, this is the way to help your emotions get out of trouble.

(pixabay) SWITCH – 6 Steps to Emotion Regulation Harvard Psychologist Susan.

Susan David proposed "emotional agility" in 2016, which means "allowing yourself a reaction space and building an alarm system that can respond sensitively to your own emotions."

Share "SWITCH - 6 Steps of Emotional Regulation" here: S (Sure) It makes sense to affirm the emotion, and tell the emotion "Sure, I know." Emotions are personal subjective feelings, there is no right or wrong, good or bad.

When an emotion arises, the first step is to "affirm" it, especially for more powerful emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, pain, tension, anxiety, etc., but also to see it and believe that there is a reason why it appears.

(Recommended reading: Don’t be in trouble with yourself! You can get angry or calm down in the blink of an eye) “Affirmation” is the biggest and most direct placebo for emotions.

Just like children who have various emotional reactions when they are frustrated, parents can tell their children: "It's okay, I know you are emotional, it's okay, I'm here." This is a stabilizing force, maybe not

Knowing the ins and outs of the frustrating incident, but gently saying "Sure, I know." can make people feel more at ease.

W (Weather) Emotions are like the weather. Slowly become aware of your own weather report. Next, explore in detail what the emotional triggers are.

At this time, you can close your eyes or find a quiet place to feel your mood. "If it was like the weather, how would you describe this scene? Is it the scorching sun? The storm? The rain? Or the sky after the rain?..."

Allow yourself more time to stay with your feelings, and don't be too eager to find precise answers or adjustments.

(pixabay) I (Intention attempt) Find the underlying intention of expressing your emotions. With the retention and awareness of emotions, this step of "Intention attempt" will go deeper and explore the meaning of emotions and the intentions behind them.

Negative emotions are usually unpleasant. In fact, the real reason is that we evaluate negative emotions and feel bad.

For example, when a person is angry, and he feels guilty or guilty about the anger (internal knowledge: people should not be angry, anger will hurt others), so he will feel angry at himself when he is angry, and anger will cause aggravation.

Cheng's role is no longer simply angry.

In this stage, in addition to feeling your own emotions, you also need to discover the reasons for your emotions.

Usually the attempt of negative emotions is either to "protect oneself" or to "desire for relationship connection", but paradoxically, such attempts or desires are difficult to see from the surface of destructive emotions.