1. Scene: Bank Savings Counter

People: Grandpa (referred to as "Lao"), Shop Assistant A (referred to as "A") and Shop Assistant Xiao Zhang (referred to as "Zhang").

A: (chatting while chatting) Banks, banks, are busy every day. I count money every day. I didn't. Everyone says that the more money, the dirtier your hands. Some people say that successful people wake up naturally when they sleep, and their hands cramp when they count money. I am cramping for those successful people who can sleep until they wake up naturally. Call! (voiceover: Customer 2089, please go to the counter. )

Old: (carrying a big cloth bag to the counter and putting it on the counter) Hello, little comrade, I'm saving money.

Hello, please fill out the deposit slip.

Lao: What is the difficulty for me to fill in this?

A: Why?

Lao: I don't know how much money I have with me.

How much money are you going to deposit?

Lao: Just send this bag.

A: I haven't seen a bag save money after working for so long. Grandpa, how dare you walk outside with so much cash? You are so brave.

Lao: No one will rob this money. Even if you rob it, you can't run with such a heavy load. Young man, can you count it for me?

A: This old man is really generous. Taking out so much money is still an understatement. Old man, let's count it for you with the money detector. Wait a minute. I'll call a colleague and we'll give you some money together, okay?

Lao: OK, thank you very much!

(rushing in) Xiao Zhang, please come and help me. (Zhang) Dude, this uncle wanted to deposit money and took a bag of money. I don't know how much. Let's check it for him.

Zhang: Wow, a bag of money. Such a big bag is full of money. That's hundreds of thousands? This uncle won't rob an armored car, will he?

Lao: Why do you talk like a comrade? I have lived for more than 60 years, and I have never robbed Dorsey except when I slept with my wife at night. How can I rob an armored car? Besides, everyone on the armored car is carrying guns. Even if I am rushing to the donkey car to transport money, I don't have the courage to rob it!

A: how do you talk about that? Apologize to uncle quickly!

Zhang: Sorry, grandpa, you didn't rob the donkey cart.

Old: rob the armored car!

Zhang: Yes, you robbed an armored car.

Old: I didn't rob it!

Zhang: Did you rob the donkey cart?

Lao: I'm talking about armored vehicles.

Zhang: Not finished yet? Or robbed an armored car?

Old: I, alas, how can I communicate with you so hard! I didn't rob any cars! ! Didn't rob any car!

A: Yes, yes, Grandpa, you robbed my aunt's quilt without anything.

Old: Your aunt? I grabbed her quilt? Young man, make it clear that this kind of thing is a matter of style!

What happened between you and my aunt is not a matter of style. My aunt is your wife. Didn't you just say that you robbed her quilt?

Zhang: Hey, I almost fainted.

Lao: Haha, you startled me. It's my wife.

Grandpa, please give us the money. Watch this. We'll count it for you.

Old: (hands over the money bag) Don't look, I'm not afraid of you taking it.

Zhang took the bag and opened it. It's full of change, coins and paper money.

Zhang: (at the same time) ah? Are they all small change?

Lao: The largest denomination is fifty cents.

Zhang: I believe it, uncle. You really didn't rob an armored car. You're really great. Where do these annoying babies come from?

Grandpa, how can I give you some? If this is made clear, it won't get dark. Have we offended you in some way? Are you making a fool of yourself in front of us?

Lao: Is this money?

A: Yes!

Lao: Is this a bank?

Zhang: That's right!

Old: Then you don't know what to do?

No, I told you to kiss him. You can't let us waste all our time on this change! How many people are waiting in line?

Old: I don't call this business?

Zhang: This is called business, but are there any charges for these businesses?

A: (whispering) Is there such a rule?

Zhang: Didn't he stop saving when he mentioned the charge?

Yes, grandpa. You may have saved this money for several years. It's better not to save if you pay! Will you keep it?

Old: charge if you charge. I went to several banks this morning and didn't give me any money. I haven't deposited it. Please order and I'll pay for it.

Zhang: Oh, my God!

A: Grandpa, you said you spent all this change, such as paying utilities and telephone bills. Why did you keep it?

Zhang: Who said it wasn't? If you save less, you carry a lot. Isn't that intentional?

Old: Young man, I didn't mean to mess with you. Did you get the money?

Zhang: What? Pick it up. Which unlucky child lost the money? You're making us miserable!

You should turn it in to the police station. Have you ever heard of it? (Singing) I found a penny by the roadside and handed it to the police uncle. My uncle took the money and nodded to me. I said to the police uncle: goodbye, uncle!

Zhang: Yes, yes, you can give it to the police. (Singing) I always say to you: Goodbye, Grandpa!

Lao: If I give this money to the police every time I find it, there is no place to put the notes made by the police now. You bankers are unwilling to take the money, let alone the police station! This is the money I pick up on the road every day. Nowadays, no one has picked up the last dime that fell to the ground. I pay attention to the ground when I go out every day When I see these coins, I will pick up the money. After a long time, I picked up so much.

Grandpa, this is definitely the spirit of Yugong moving mountains.

Zhang: Grandpa, at your age, aren't you embarrassed to collect money that you can hardly spend every day?

Old man: Look at this coin, young man.

Zhang: There is dry mud. Did you find this on a rainy day?

Lao: I see What is this?

A. Zhang: national emblem.

Lao: Can our national emblem be trampled in the mud? The national emblem is the symbol of our Chinese nation. It doesn't mean that they can hardly buy the monetary value of the corresponding goods now. Is the supreme dignity of our nation!

Grandpa, I agree with you. I also spit on those who casually throw small coins, but your actions to deal with these dignity make us waste a lot of time and get your personal wealth.

Old: (sighs) Young man, you are all rich. You have no feelings for these scattered silver, but I can't. In my twenties, when I took out my handkerchief to wipe my sweat, I rolled out a penny from my pocket. I just fell off the cliff to chase this coin. If a small tree hadn't stopped me, that coin might have killed me. At that time, rice, oil and salt were all realized by these carefully calculated coins!

Zhang: Grandpa, you said before. Now if you toss a coin, will you chase it?

Old: I won't. My children give me hundreds of thousands of times as much pocket money as a penny. But can you believe that even now, in China, how many people still regard these coins as huge sums of money? Last year, I went back to my hometown, where a junior high school child's pocket money was only five cents a month. Five cents plus a pile of dry food is his energy for studying for a week. That's how he saves three cents a week. He saved up for a year, and he could buy a story book that he had read for 365 days through the window of the bookstore. The children there have never seen 10, let alone 100. I want to deposit my money in the account I opened for them in my hometown. Although they have to walk 150 km to the bank to withdraw money, I know these small changes have given them material support and spiritual hope! I gave them the change I found, even if I saved it for them with the strength of thousands of people in Qian Qian!

Sorry, grandpa, you taught us a lesson. Thank you! Uncle, I threw a lot of coins in a paper box at home. I will bring it tomorrow. Will you keep it tomorrow?

Zhang: Grandpa, so do I. I will bring it tomorrow.

Lao: OK, OK, OK. I thank you both for the children first. How's this? You two help me count the money in this account in your spare time after work. The depositor's name is hope. Thank you! Goodbye (next)

I can't, grandpa. You can't go through the formalities like this, grandpa, grandpa! (Chasing down)

2. Buy a fund (chicken essence)

Stage layout: service desk.

A small classical coffee table and several small classical wooden chairs.

Old Xin Kai (cleaning with a feather duster): I can't rely on any young people. They are all tanned and haven't come to work yet. This one is a daughter and the other is a nephew. If it was an outsider, I would have fired them.

Poor and happy (come here and whistle): Hey! Did you hear me right, uncle? Who are you going to fire, me or my cousin?

Old happiness: when one of the two wok arrives, there is not a hair left, and then the guests will be anxious.

Poor and happy (taking Lao Xing's feather duster and patting him on the shoulder): Uncle, the doctor has told you many times that people with high blood pressure should be calm if they are not anxious, impatient, angry, dry or upset. It's quiet inside. Have a rest. I'll take care of the sanitation.

Lao Happy: Hey! It's rare that you still have some conscience, thinking that my uncle has high blood pressure (always happy to leave).

Xiao Xinkai (singing while walking): We ordinary people are really happy today, and we ordinary people are really happy today.

Poor and happy (blowing on your mouth with your hand, pause): Stop singing. You are so happy to pick up the gold ingot. My uncle wants to fire us. You are happy, and neither he nor I are happy.

Xiao Xinkai: This is not the first time. I'm telling you, I won't do it until I dig the first bucket of gold and he leaves me. I want to be my own boss and earn my own money.

Poor and happy: OK, have backbone, cousin. Don't forget my poor brother, I will work for you.

Xiao Xinkai: You, I have to think about it.

Poor and happy: Then I wish you the first bucket of gold in your life and be a wage earner like me.

Xiao Xinkai: Dogs don't spit ivory. My first bucket of gold is coming soon. Do you know why I was late today?

Poor and happy: either online dating or being robbed halfway.

Xiao Xinkai: I'm going to buy a fund.

Poor and happy: You are so filial, knowing that my uncle has high blood pressure and can't eat monosodium glutamate, go and buy chicken essence.

Small happy: bully, I say you are stupid, I buy funds.

Old Xin Kai (coming up): I don't eat monosodium glutamate and I can't eat chicken essence. You are hurting me on purpose.

Poor and happy: kindness is the liver and lungs of the donkey. "Our people are really happy today."

Xiao Xinkai: It's like casting pearls before swine. You don't understand.

Old happy: what's the matter? You said I ate more salt than you. I don't understand.

Xiao Xinkai: I went to the bank and bought a fund.

Poor and happy: banks also buy chicken essence. After the bank reform, it seems that the supermarket business has also been started.

Always happy: I can't eat the chicken essence from the bank.

Xiao Xinkai: Two cows are missing a tail. What I bought was not the chicken essence you mentioned, but the products of the bank.

Poor and happy: Hey, cousin, the more you talk, the more confused I am. Banks don't save money to withdraw money, but now they still buy products. Are those products on sale?

Small: the fund is a wealth management product launched by the bank, and it is a product issued by the agency fund company to make money through investment.

Lao Happy: Ah, have you invested your money in the foundation? That's impossible. Last year, the foundation closed down overnight, and many people were unlucky. It is precisely because of good national policies and efforts to raise funds that these talents have saved the day. (Old happy holds his head in his hand, poor happy holds old happy quickly)

Poor and happy: Uncle, are you sick? Cousin, take out the money from the foundation quickly, and don't let my uncle worry.

Xiao Xinkai: Dad, don't worry. I will definitely take out the money. I am poor and happy. I won't help my father rest.

Always happy: I'm fine. (Always willing to leave)

Xiao (making the poor happy): You are a pig brain, and you don't even understand the fund bought by the bank. I said, how can you be poor and happy all your life?

Poor and happy: Is that fund very profitable?

Xiao Xinkai: Of course, one of my classmates bought Nanwen No.2 in July last year, and now it has doubled, from 1 10,000 to 20,000.

Poor and happy: what is a man kissing twice and a man kissing a woman twice? The name of this fund is quite strange.

Xiao Xinkai: It's the south of the south. Slow and steady. You think about men kissing women all day. How do you make money?

Poor Happy: Well, you can buy me some Nanwen No.2 and let me earn some money.

Xiao Xinkai: You give me the money and I'll entrust my friends at the bank to buy it.

Poor happiness: I have no money. You can lend me some money.

Xiaoxiao: You are heartless. I am short of money myself at this time.

Poor and happy: that's not a smart woman who can't blow without food. You can't work with women.

Xiao Xinkai: This society is so powerful that it dares to starve to death. A classmate of mine borrowed 200,000 yuan from a house mortgage, and now he has earned 200,000 yuan.

Poor and happy: but my broken house has been sold to others, which is worthless to the bank. I buy a wife. Her wife is a half-hearted woman, sad and disgusting, and worthless.

Old Happy (coming up): What do you mean, buy a wife, buy a house and be poor and happy? Did you lose money gambling outside?

Poor and happy: I didn't block the blog, so I lost.

Old Happy: That's the way it is. Tell me, if you follow me, I have an obligation to take care of you, otherwise I will be sorry for my dead sister and my living nephew and daughter-in-law. Old, happy, poor and happy ears

Poor and happy: old uncle, your nephew is already ugly. Without ears, he is not a monster. Besides, how can I listen to your old teaching with my ears in the future?

Xiao Xinkai: My cousin didn't block the blog. Trust him, he has a woman outside, and the woman asks him for money. He can't sell his house or his wife. Dad, please save my cousin for aunt's sake. Take out your certificate of deposit and lend it to my cousin.

Old Happy: I'm so angry. I didn't expect poor happiness to be outside.

Xiao applauded happily at the same time.

Poor and happy: Cousin, you are that Hu. You shouldn't mention that Hu. Help me, you heartless bastard, because I am usually nice to you.

Xiao Xinkai: Dad, your nose is growing up. How can we be persuaded? My cousin wants to get some money to buy a fund.

Old Happy (gasping and pointing to Little Happy): Tell me, what is a fund?

Xiao Xinkai: Dad, sit down and listen to me. The fund is issued by a bank agency fund company.

......

Poor and happy: blurred eyes.

Xiaoxiaoxin (laughs): I finally have bags under my eyes.

Old Happy: What are you still sitting and whispering about? Why are your eyes swollen from crying?

Poor and happy: I just had a terrible stomachache.

Xiao Xinkai: My cousin has a stomachache. I'm afraid his intestines will be perforated.

Lao Xing: Then go to the hospital.

Poor and happy: it's so cold, uncle. Please put your coat on me. Old Happy took off his coat and put it on poor Happy. )

Xiaoxiao: Poor Xiaoxiao, you are just like my father, so alike. Dad has no guests at this time, so I will go with my cousin, just in case.

Old Happy: Go quickly and call me if you need anything. (Small happy, poor happy to leave)

Always happy wandering around: Are these two boys hiding something from me? Why do they have stomachaches? People with stomachaches only shout. How can his eyes be red and swollen? No, I have to call to see where they are. (Always willing to call) Daughter, where are you? Bring me some antihypertensive drugs and come back soon. I feel a little dizzy.

Poor and happy, little and happy, little and happy, put your hands on the table.

Xiao Xinkai: Dad, are you all right? This is your antihypertensive drug.

Old Happy: Poor Happy, you don't want to hang salt water, do you? How did it get better so soon?

Poor and happy: the doctor said that I don't have diarrhea, don't dehydrate, and don't need to hang salt water.

Lao Xing: Then you got an injection. What injection did you get?

Xiao Xinkai: Atropine, Demerol.

Poor and happy: Yes, atropine.

Old Happy: My daughter pours some water and I take medicine. If you are poor and happy, go and have a rest inside. (poor happy and small happy leave)

Always open the small handbag, take out the real estate license and ID card, and a mortgage agreement.

Lao Kuai: These two little animals want to piss me off. Happiness, poverty, happiness. Come out, come on.

Small happy, poor happy rushed out in unison: did the old man have a stroke? (Small happy poor happy looking at real estate license, mortgage contract, low head. )

Old Xin Kai: What is this? You forgot the Happy Teahouse. Are you mad at me?

Xiao Xinkai: Dad, the bull market is really the best time to invest now, but I have no money and you refuse to take it out. I have to think it over with my cousin.

Old Xin Kai: You also said that the three-three-four strategy of house deposit and mortgage investment is too risky.

Xiao Xinkai: I know you have 200,000 yuan in the bank. I borrowed 70,000 yuan to buy a fund according to the 3-3-4 policy.

Lao Happy: You are poisoned, forcing me to take out money to buy you a fund.

Poor and happy: Uncle, please help my cousin.

Always happy: you don't have a stomachache. You are still lying down.

Poor and happy: I-I'm all right.

Old Xin Kai: The house can't be reached. In case of loss, the bank will take over the house and all three of us will be laid off. It seems that I have to take out the deposit slip and give you 70 thousand to buy the fund.

Xiao Xinkai: Dad, don't worry. We'll talk tomorrow. You don't have hypertension. Take a break.

Lao Happy: I don't have high blood pressure.

Smile: Dad will cheat, too.

Old Happy: I can't cheat you if you cheat me.

Three people get off together. Xiao: We have already withdrawn money to buy the fund. Singing: We ordinary people are really happy today.