I have encountered some troubles recently and my mood is at a low point. There is a saying that if God closes a door with you, he will open a window for you.

For me, who is currently in a bad situation, opening this window just happened to meet "What you call a bad personality is actually a lack of emotional intelligence."

The title of this book struck me directly, as if it was criticizing me in good faith. So, I read and reflected on myself.

In fact, when it comes to "emotional intelligence", no one in today's society does not know it. Many people will also publicly admit: Hehe! I am a person with low emotional intelligence. To gain understanding and sympathy for their own poor performance.

Just as Liu Sitong, the author of the book "What you call a bad character is actually a lack of emotional intelligence" said:

Has it touched all the unsatisfactory things in your heart? ?

There is no bad character, only low emotional intelligence.

If you still feel that it is because of your poor personality, then I recommend you to read this book easily and replenish your emotional intelligence!

Improving your emotional intelligence and improving your personality is really a psychological and technical job. You first have to realize it, recognize it and learn how to improve it.

The author uses his many years of valuable social and workplace experience to summarize for us five golden connotations that determine emotional intelligence:

1. Cognitive ability.

Including understanding of oneself and others.

That is to say, have a clear understanding of your own personality, talents, abilities, strengths and weaknesses, etc., and give yourself an accurate positioning. You can't be too ambitious and have low ambitions, and you can't have low self-esteem and insufficient understanding of yourself, which will lead to many regrets in life.

As for others, we should also observe them carefully and try our best to judge their identity, status, conduct, personality, etc. Even if you are an acquaintance, you need to constantly re-examine the changing partner.

The stronger a person's cognitive ability, the more accurately he can see people and things, and he can also better deal with interpersonal relationships and things.

From personal experience, if you want to improve your cognitive abilities, you need to read and study a lot, experience more, observe more, think more, and enrich your life experience.

2. Language expression ability.

The so-called high emotional intelligence means speaking well. This popular saying in the circle of friends is absolutely true.

Being able to speak and speak well actually means very simply, that is, being able to speak in a way that people like to hear. Therefore, it is particularly important to develop good eloquence. It is no wonder that speech and eloquence training classes are always so popular.

If it can be lively and humorous, it will be even better. Because interesting people are always popular.

3. Manage your emotions.

People with high emotional intelligence do not never get angry, but they can manage their emotions well and find reasonable channels to vent, rather than venting at will.

This requires strong restraint and endurance, and the ability to deal with all kinds of unfavorable factors that affect one's emotions calmly.

4. Incentive.

It refers more to motivating yourself as well as motivating others.

In fact, the improvement of emotional intelligence is often due to those setbacks and difficulties, and even those who deliberately make things difficult for us.

It is they who enable us to burst out the energy that inspires ourselves and infect others, and also give us the confidence to succeed.

5. Be flexible and adaptable.

It is not difficult to find that one of the biggest characteristics of high emotional intelligence is that they are flexible and not stubborn. I know that a good man will not suffer the immediate consequences, and he also knows that he will give up when the good comes!

This should be the most valuable of all the golden connotations that determine emotional intelligence. Many people have many excellent qualities, but they fall short of success and miss opportunities because of their stubbornness.

The overall idea of ??this book is centered around these five golden rules. So the author extended this into six chapters and started to talk about it one by one.

Just from these small chapter titles, you can get an insight into the super practicality and rich philosophy:

Chapter 1 If you have a bad personality, it is actually because you have insufficient emotional intelligence - why Emotional intelligence is so important

chapter 2 All success is due to standing in the right place - high emotional intelligence equals accurate positioning

chapter 3 Everyone can say this, but it does not mean you Can speak - people with high emotional intelligence are good at expressing

chapter 4 You are not the only one who has been treated unfairly - people with high emotional intelligence can manage their emotions

chapter 5? You must work hard, but don't be anxious - people with high emotional intelligence always encourage themselves

Chapter 6 The most fearful thing in life is "brain death" - people with high emotional intelligence are never overly persistent

Reading each chapter carefully is like finding a treasure. There are many more wonderful and insightful sayings that make us enlightened.

As the author said:

However, what impressed me most was not just the guidance of these theoretical schools or the chicken soup-like influence, but the author Liu Sitong wrote many thought-provoking experiences or stories, explaining the profound things in simple terms. It clearly shows the stupidity of low EQ and the charm of high EQ.

As the author said frankly, we have all suffered from low emotional intelligence. And these plots naturally become the highlights of the book.

1. The bump in the road when first entering the workplace

That was the loss the author suffered when he first entered the workplace. Because I was young and energetic, I couldn't stand it and publicly rejected a colleague who had a special relationship with the leader, and I thought I was aloof. Even when he was in trouble and this colleague actively tried to help him, he still didn't appreciate it.

This unique behavior did not bring him any benefits. On the contrary, everyone still thought that he was unsociable and did not understand the ways of the world, so they gradually alienated him.

Having a low emotional intelligence, he ran into obstacles everywhere. Although he was superior in ability, he could not get any recognition. In the end, the author had no choice but to change jobs in embarrassment.

This experience brought great inspiration and lessons to Liu Sitong, and it also became a key point for him to awaken his emotional intelligence.

2. Encountering an old lady with high emotional intelligence by chance

There is also a little story, which is a bit interesting.

He said that there was a time when he took the subway and there were no seats, so he stood and took out his mobile phone to check Weibo. The old lady in front suddenly said to him: "Young man, do you need me to help you get your umbrella?" ''

The author thought about it for a while, and when he looked down, he realized that it happened to be a rainy day, and the umbrella he casually hung on his bag was dripping water, which happened to hit the old lady. On a beautiful skirt.

The author reflects that if it were him back then, his cultivation would still be at the level of: "I'm sorry, can your umbrella be moved? The water is dripping on me."

He felt I would never be able to remind the other person in such a tactful way. So he apologized quickly and remembered this technique.

This technique has indeed benefited me a lot. In many situations in life, if we remind or reject others too directly without thinking, it may bring displeasure and even fail to achieve the desired effect. This old lady with high emotional intelligence really taught us young people a vivid lesson.

3. Communication skills between husband and wife

There is also a story about communication between husband and wife in the book, which is deeply touching.

My wife has been busy after get off work and has prepared a sumptuous dinner and is waiting for her husband to come home. But my husband called me unexpectedly and said that he would not be home for dinner because he had a social event in the evening.

The wife suddenly became furious: "Why didn't you tell me earlier if you weren't going to come back for dinner? What should I do if I cook so much food? Do you still have this family in your heart when you go out to socialize every day?" The husband was also angry: "I Isn't it because of this family that we work so hard to socialize?" So the two of them started arguing on the phone, each blaming the other for being inconsiderate of them.

In another house, in the same situation, the wife said this: "Thank you for your hard work, husband. I just cooked the food here, which is definitely more nutritious than the food outside. Well, you eat less outside." Come back tonight and I'll make you a midnight snack.

Also, don't come back too late, otherwise I will be very worried. ”

My husband was very moved when he heard this: “Is it my fault that I didn’t tell you in advance that you were busy for so long and took a lot of time to cook?” There is no need to make me a midnight snack anymore. Just leave the dinner for me and eat it hot when I get back. I will definitely go back as soon as possible. ”

In this way, the relationship between the two people was not damaged, but also heated up, and both of them ended the conversation happily.

What a real and empathetic couple’s communication Skill story! Conversations like this happen every day. If we can reflect and speak well like this, will happiness be far behind?

A person who knows how to speak well to his partner knows how to be accurate. People who express their inner feelings will not only have a harmonious and warm family, but they will also be well-equipped in other aspects. Like gold and silver jewelry, they will shine wherever they are placed.

There are many more in the book. The practical case stories are sincere, friendly and easy to understand, and are very down-to-earth. Many of them are valuable experiences and treasures that the author has achieved after ten years of hard work, waiting for readers to slowly discover and appreciate them!

We don’t expect a book to change our character and destiny, but we can adjust our mentality and vision because of a book.

When I was depressed, this book just gave me a lot of inspiration and inspiration for life. Motivation for writing. Thanks to the author Liu Sitong, and to the friend who sent the book: Yali Jianxun

I sincerely hope that people who read this book will be inspired by it, learn to use it, and control their own emotional intelligence. , live up to my youth.

Suddenly in early summer, I have been cured in spring

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