In today’s complex social relationships, whether in life or work, communication and communication between people are inseparable. We all strive to pursue a happy life and make ourselves relaxed and happy. Live every day.

In the past month of work and life, I feel that the poor communication has directly affected my mood and the working atmosphere of the team. In reflection, I will summarize myself and adjust my mentality. .

Today I want to discuss 3Q with you - IQ, EQ, and reverse quotient.

IQ: professional knowledge, logical thinking ability, learning ability; Emotional Quotient: EQ: enthusiasm for work, the ability to control emotions; AQ: the ability to withstand stress, the ability to recover from adversity. 3Q can be summarized in one sentence, but it requires us to learn and improve throughout our lives.

Generally speaking, if parents have high IQs, their children will not have low IQs. At the beginning of the 20th century, French psychologist Binet conducted a set of tests. Experiments proved that IQ is mainly determined by heredity, but human intelligence is certainly not static. It develops with age and changes due to education and training. Because the relationship between IQ and genetic factors is much greater than social environmental factors, more and more parents or us adults are working hard to improve our emotional intelligence. Let us feel, understand, use, express, control and regulate our emotions well, and handle the emotional relationships between ourselves and others well.

American psychologist Daniel Goleman has written a book "Emotional Intelligence" that has become popular around the world. The subtitle is: Why is emotional intelligence more important than IQ? This book summarizes emotional intelligence into five aspects of ability: 1: The ability to recognize one's own emotions; 2: The ability to properly manage emotions; 3: The ability to self-motivate; 4: The ability to recognize other people's emotions; 5: The ability to manage interpersonal relationships. . He also proposed the concept of the emotional intelligence tree: the root is the basic theory of emotional intelligence, the trunk is emotional intelligence, and the crown is the five abilities. The widely accepted concept is that a person's success follows the 20/80 principle, that is, 20% depends on IQ and 80% is determined by other factors, the most important of which is emotional intelligence. These five abilities can be simply summarized as: knowing yourself, managing yourself, motivating yourself, knowing others, and managing others.

Writing this, I suddenly thought of Dong Yuhui from New Oriental, who has become popular recently. I once watched one of his live broadcasts: "Please be kind to yourself when you are in adversity, but please be kind to others when you are in good times. Being kind to oneself in adversity is wisdom, and being kind to others in good times is kindness. Kind words lead to good karma. You can retain your own judgment and judgment, but you don’t always have to be sarcastic and sarcastic about others. "Good words lead to good karma, and bad words lead to good karma." The words hurt people's hearts. I hope that we are surrounded by the transmission of positive energy. Even if you see it, please stay calm and control your emotions. This is not only a manifestation of high emotional intelligence, but also a reflection of the overall situation.

Two days ago, I sent a message in the work group, which was a small suggestion from someone. As a result, the other party responded with a series of questions, including the sentence "This is stipulated by the system." , do you mean you don’t have to abide by the system?” I wanted to say at that time: The national constitution constantly listens to the people’s suggestions during the implementation process, and constantly updates and improves it. If a company’s system has problems during the implementation process, it cannot Continuous improvement? Moreover, the quality system attaches great importance to continuous improvement. The first page of all documents is a document continuous improvement record sheet. Does this conflict with compliance?

Control your emotions and reflect on yourself. Communication is an art and communication requires skills, especially typing and chatting without any expression. It may be that your suggestions are not expressed clearly and cause misunderstandings on the other side. Keep it in time. Silence is more conducive to the progress of follow-up work. Since you choose to work together, don't be tit-for-tat. You are tired and I am tired. Keep a calm and indifferent heart and consider the problem from the other person's perspective. Solving the matter may not be as difficult as imagined. A person who can always control his emotions well must be a popular, happy person who can gain the trust of others.

Adversity Quotient AQ: It is also the Frustration Quotient. When we encounter problems, it is not about shrinking back, but how to solve the problem by changing our thinking mode; it is not about complaining or wrangling, nor is it about arguing with others. The victim's mentality magnifies the damage infinitely. Put yourself in a place where you feel small and think about it. As long as you don't give up easily, the temporary camp is for better climbing, not to mention that the climber is still a member of the team. strength.

Recommended book: "Reverse Business" by American psychology writer Paul Stoltz.

There is another book I recommend to everyone, "How to Control Your Emotions" written by Chip Conley (USA). He is a top entrepreneur with unlimited success, who once fell into negative emotions. He was trapped in a dark world, unable to extricate himself for several years, and even reached the edge of death. Later, he discovered the emotional equation: "Regret = disappointment + sense of responsibility", "Despair = suffering - meaning", "Anxiety = uncertainty × powerlessness", "Happiness = what you want to have ÷ have what you want", etc., The process of creating emotional equations was also a process for him to sort out his tangles and restart his life.

With these emotional laws, people can use addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division to calculate emotional fluctuations that often have no clue. For example, when you are feeling anxious, check to see if the uncertainty you are facing is increasing and things are beyond your ability; if you are suspicious, then reflect on whether your self-esteem is too strong or whether you feel that To the point of not being trusted. Emotions are delicate and often tangled like silk threads. By always comparing the emotional equation, you can pick up the main thread, solve the emotional dilemma, and control your own emotions.

Some experts even assert that 100% success = 20% IQ + 80% EQ and AQ. IQ is inherited, so emotional intelligence and reverse quotient require us to understand and create on the road of life. .