1. In this case, you can carefully observe all the expenses at home to see if there are any particularly large expenses, such as insurance for your children, washing machines or air conditioners at home, etc. If you don’t have these at home, If the expenses are just simple living expenses, then you can go to court to prove that the money she owes is not used for family expenses, and this does not belong to the same debt;

2. In this case, she She will pay the debt herself, if you want to help share part of it, that's fine;

3. Even if you go to court, you still have enough evidence, so don't worry, since her family members are unreasonable and direct Go to the court. After going to the court, the judge will also ask her to calculate all the expenses one by one and where they were spent. If she can't do it, it will be a personal debt. After all, you really don't know. You can ask relatives to testify, because she told her relatives not to tell you, this is all evidence.